Reasons for writting

     I have been thinking that this blog is getting away from me and the original purpose of it starting. For crying out loud it is called "Raising Kaine"! Maybe I should stick to this theme? Although, our lives are so intertwined it is hard to separate out the different experiences. Plus, I pretty much use this as a public diary. I just want him to know what it going on in my mind as he is growing up. So, maybe there really isn't any problem after all. But I will try to stick to more "Kaine" like posts. (I'm tired of focusing on my health issues anyway.)
     Well, what is new? Christmas was good. Kaine wanted a puppy and we discussed it and got one for him. I mean, Santa got one for him :). Also, Santa showed up on Christmas Eve and walked the roof. It was so magical. I have the best picture of Kaine and his Poppa grinning like mad! It is so precious! These years are truly the best. Yesterday, in fact, Kaine was in the car with my Mom and the cousins and they were talking about Santa being real or not (Jordan, being 10, doesn't believe, of course. Grace, being 7, is still a believer.). Kaine said "Santa is real. I saw him last Christmas at the lake!" It was a big hit! :) I have to say that this Christmas was the one I have been waiting for since Kaine was born. I always think "this is the year!" and then get slightly disappointed because Kaine doesn't quite get it. But this year WAS our year! The magic was in the air. The anticipation was unbearable. Activities were wonderfully Christmas-y. Santa was the man! Christmas stories, movies and plays were seen, talked about, read and enjoyed daily. It was glorious! I know it will just get better too. AND one of the best things is, Kaine really knows the reason for the season too. Jesus was talked about all the time, especially when Kaine asked, "Why do we have Christmas, Mama?". Of course, my heart was filled with joy and we talked all about "Jesus' birthday". I said, "Would you like to make a birthday cake?" Kaine: "How will we get it to Jesus? Throw it up into the sky?" Ha ha, kids are so funny and literal. I love it! I think Christmas is quickly becoming my favorite holiday.
     Back to the puppy. We got an eight week old dachshund  He is all brown, except his chest and one of his toes on his back, left foot, they are white (even the nail, it is really cute). We started to call him Jake. Then the boys wanted to call him Gunther. But we finally settled on Jake. Which is great, because I really didn't like the name Gunther. (The boys wanted to give him a German name because he is a German dog.) He is really good. We were having some issues in the beginning with potty training. He seemed to not care that he was in his own filth (disgusting!). But, he is getting better and now only occasionally has a pee accident in his crate. Kaine has taken to him wonderfully too. I think he would have been happy about the cat, but the cat isn't all that friendly with him, so the puppy is a wonderful addition to our family. (Even though I wasn't so sure about his messy, smelly new friend. He is growing on me.) 

Kaine's Homeschool

     Today has been a real eye-opener. Since school started in September, I have been constantly worried that I am making the right decisions. I have been worried that I don't know what I am doing, that Kaine isn't getting everything he needs for his education and that I may scar him for life! Today was the first day that I have been able to look back and see all of the progress we have actually made. It has made me feel great!
     It was very hard to figure out both of our needs. He wanted to have more to do. I wanted to know how to teach it. After a few weeks of struggle (on both of our parts) we have figured out a rhythm. Learning still doesn't come easy in some subjects but, I have learned to back-off, take a breath, and reassess the situation to make it more "Kaine friendly". We are now learning at his pace, not the books pace. (I thought I had to follow the written plan TO THE "T" and not deviate. I have lightened up and now we are doing things that aren't as frustrating.)
     Handwriting is still a struggle. The curriculum calls for him to be able to form all letters (Aa-Zz) and numbers up to 10 by now. This is a good idea if, for instance, he had been exposed to any form of writing before he started this structured school program. However, that is not the case. He was the type of kid that wouldn't even color ("I don't like to color."). As far as I could tell the only thing he really liked to do are "dot-to-dot" pages. So, the written word was not something he had done before. The book progresses really fast as well. (As if they assumed the child was already familiar with this type of work.) At first, we were just mustering through it (anger, tears and all). Then, I decided to call a quits to the whole thing! (I contacted the school to let them know.) Now we are just doing supplemental (dot-to-dot) worksheets that help him see how to form the letters the right way. If a worksheet has some letter formation I will take a red color pencil and make dots for him to follow. If the page is a writing page, we just skip it (hopefully to come back to it at a later date). Anyway, I have given him a break.
     Reading is a little bit slower than I initially thought it would be also. Mostly, because we stopped for a time to focus on writing. Now we are getting back into the swing of things. Kaine has learned all of his letters and the sounds. We are rapidly moving onto consonant and vowel sounds. In other words, he knows what a consonant is and what a vowel is and how to recognize them. Tomorrow we will start blending sounds to form words. Next, reading simple sentences!
     Math seems to be a subject Kaine just "gets". He, so far, picks things up really easily. The concepts almost seem too simple. However, I know what is coming so I am not pushing him to do more than I feel is necessary. So far we have worked on position words (up,down, left, right, on top of, bottom, below, above, etc.), shapes, colors, coloring in the lines, cutting, patterns, measuring, sequencing, counting and number recognition (I am sure there are more that is just off the top of my head). I have tried to keep pace with the book, just so we don't get so far ahead. I am sure he is ready for more (it takes him only 1-2 minutes to do a two sided worksheet). But, like I said, I don't want to do too much too soon.
     Science is another subject that Kaine just "gets". I figured he would enjoy a more "hands-on" approach, so I chose to do experiments. We talk about how God made everything. How everything has a purpose. How things relate to each other. We do experiments on plants, make bird feeders, make rock candy, do soil, body and light experiments. I try to tie it to the religion lesson if I can (creation, light and darkness, etc.). I think it is a lot of fun for all of us (Matt likes to help with this part of the learning).
     Art and music are the other things that Kaine does. I have to admit, I haven't really done all that much with the music curriculum. He does take a class at O2B Kids that is structured like the music classes that I used to attend when I was in Elementary school. I feel like this is enough for right now. Art (he also has an art class once a week at O2B Kids) follows our Religion lessons mostly but it is also done in math and seasonal art (Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc.). I think he gets a lot of exposure in these areas (especially for someone who isn't really all that naturally creative. Sorry Kaine.).
    Books are a big part of what we do. We read, read and read some more. Books, in my opinion, are a fabulous way to introduce new topics. I have been using this resource since Kaine was a baby. If he wanted to learn about new things (or I wanted him to learn them) I would pick up some books on that particular subject and we would explore the topic. We read about everything. I also try to get as close to the real story (originals such as Hans Christian Anderson's fairy tales) as possible (I don't really approve of the dumbing down of books for little kids). When Kaine goes to bed he listens to books on CD (unabridged and original titles, as much as possible-examples: "Peter Pan", "Peter Rabbit"). Books will always be our go-to source for knowledge.
     I have been able to see so much in the last 12 weeks that I am slowly beginning to love homeschooling, not fear it. Kaine responds well ("Can we do school now?") and I am learning that being such a perfectionist ins't good for anyone. I am also learning that being forced to do something isn't the way anyone learns, you have to want to do it. The biggest thing I have learned is to not fear slowing down and taking things as they come. There is still time, things will get done, learning is happening. 

Kaine November 2012

Kaine is really growing. As of May 2012 he has grown a whopping inch and a half! That is the difference between being a 5t and a 5/6 in pants size. Pretty significant, if you ask me. My baby is no longer in "toddler" clothes! (I happen to be quite proud of this fact, especially since I haven't considered him a toddler for at least 2 years.) He is wearing "big boy" shirts and underwear too (boys sizes). His shoe size is also rapidly progressing too! He is already at a size 13, I think the next size up is a boy's 1. He really is no longer a baby but a bonafide boy!
Homeschool is also going well. He is still having some trouble with handwriting but, we are taking a break from that right now and reassessing where to go from here. (I think we might have to go back a few steps and start again.) It is nice to get to see him learning instead of just learning about what he has done. I feel like I would miss so much if he was gone for most of the day. I think we really both enjoy being able to learn and grow together. All of his other subjects are going well. He is really good at math and science. Science, mostly because we like to do experiments and he likes to do the dirty stuff! Messy is always better around here!
I have to say it is a lot of work to be so responsible for so many things in this little man's life, but I really do love it. Nothing worth it is ever easy. I am glad that I wasn't given an easy route to walk down. I feel very appreciative of all of the things God has shown me through trial and suffering and growing and learning. I hope I can be God's example to this little man who will one day have to answer God's call and lead other people (even if it is just his little household!). May God always walk with us and show us where we are to go!
I am Thankful for being able to be a mother!

Another Health Update

I have good news. It certainly has been a long time coming too! Ever since I started taking the Vitamin D (and other things, but mostly D) my bleeding has stopped. Yes, stopped! Glory be!! It has been exactly 3 weeks since my last spell and I feel great. I do, however, feel like I may be on the verge of a period, which always freaks me out because I never know when it will end. I have to say that I feel awesome about not bleeding, spotting or ANYTHING for three whole weeks! This is a grand improvement and I hope that if/when my period comes again it will not outlast it's welcome. It would be wonderful to experience a "normal" cycle for the first time in two years.
If I do have a normal cycle this time around, that means that things are REALLY looking up. (I hope anyway!) Of course, I would have to wait it out for a few months and see if my cycle really is "normal". So, so far-so good. And I hope it lasts. Time will only tell. 

To My Health - PCOS

     If you have been following,  you will know that my health is seriously unpredictable. I have difficult issues with my menstrual cycles. I would like to report that things are all resolved and I am on the track to a full recovery. However, that is just not true. Things have gotten better. There is no full recovery for what I have, there is just management (for the rest of my life).
     Here is a recap of what is going on now. I have PCOS, very low progesterone, and a really hard time absorbing the vitamins I need to function (vitamin D, B-12 and I suspect Magnesium). In other words, my body is fighting against my will to live. The organs in my body are under stress and fighting to function. My liver is having a hard time keeping up with the toxic load my body carries (your liver processes everything your body carries, eats, drinks, etc.).
     Since I have PCOS, this means that I have excess estrogen running rampant in my body. My poor liver doesn't know what to do with it. Therefore, it has free reign. However, that is not the only problem. Because I have PCOS this also means that I have low progesterone (tests have confirmed this). Progesterone is the hormone in your body that is responsible for maintenance of the uterine lining before, during and after pregnancy. Because I have practically no progesterone the estrogen in my body is unchecked. Progesterone and estrogen are not produced at the same time. Think of it more as a competition, if one is active the other is waiting it's turn to run a-muck. However, instead of having estrogen do it's job in the first half of my cycle, it is present the whole time. It just keeps producing. Usually, progesterone would take over half way and help with ovulation (the release of an egg). Progesterone would stick around to see if ovulation results in pregnancy. If a pregnancy occurs progesterone then gets super produced (this is what maintains a pregnancy to the end, by maintaining the uterine lining and causes morning sickness). Without progesterone, there are no babies. If pregnancy does not occur, progesterone production ceases and this drop produces a period. Estrogen takes over for the building-up of the uterine lining, to help with egg attachment when ovulation and pregnancy occur.
     What does this mean for me? Because I have estrogen production down to a science, my body builds up my uterine lining with no problem. However, I have no opposing progesterone. Therefore, I am not ovulating (no egg production), which means progesterone isn't being produced at all. Estrogen just keeps going, building and building (doing it's job). Because progesterone isn't being produced (or at a very insignificant rate) my lining becomes thick. I then have a period. However, it is not normal. It causes sever bleeding and clots. Progesterone isn't being produced to stop this from happening. Excess estrogen tells your body to build, causing an unopposed period. This is why I have long cycles. The absence of progesterone to maintain a normal building/shedding cycle with ovulation in the middle.
     What am I doing about it? What we know is that I have a cycle that does not work. It is broken and needs to be fixed. Unfortunately, fixing it isn't as easy as taking progesterone when my body needs it. PCOS is a complicated disease. The optimal thing to do is to achieve hormonal balance and get your body to recognize what this is and start doing it on it's own. However, this rarely happens without some sort of medicinal support throughout your life. The real issue is trying to find what exactly works for you. This disease is very individual. What works for one person could be too much for the next or not enough. It is a disease that many women suffer through. So, there are therapies out there. But getting the right dose and cocktail of drugs (herbs or pharmaceuticals) is complicated, very trial and error.
     What am I trying? As I am sure you know, I have tried many things already. Vitex is my latest herb. It seems to have improved my life drastically. It has cut down on my flooding issues and even managed to make my periods only 2-3 weeks long, for a time (I am currently up-ing my dose to continue this effectiveness). I have also discovered that taking Vitamin D (for me 5000 i/u daily) has completely stopped my bleeding (this past cycle was 65 days). It is very surprising and I don't understand why Vitamin D would have this type of affect. But, I am going to continue to take it. I have also paid for an herbal consultation to help figure out what I should be doing/taking to control this disease. It has opened my eyes to really get serious about losing weight, watching what I eat (there are some foods that exacerbate my condition), and taking my supplements regularly (instead of when I feel like I need them).
Here is the current list of supplements that have been suggested for me to take:
 Eat a PCOS Fertility Diet
Multivitamin or prenatal vitamin (daily)
Omegas (daily)
Vitamin D (daily)
Blood Builder (daily)- iron
Fertility Smoothie (daily):
-Maca
-Alive Bee Power Royal Jelly-overall reproductive health/endocrine health
-Whey Protein
-UltraGreens
Slow Flow (during bleeding times)-mixture of herbs to help stop heavy bleeding
Saw Palmetto (daily) - helps fight male hormones
Cinnamon (daily)-for heavy bleeding and reduce insulin resistance
Milk Thistle Extract (daily) -for liver detox and renewal
Vitex (daily)-hormone regulation
Tribulus (daily)-normalize ovulation
DIM (daily)-combating estrogen
Exercise/Walk
Chart your cycle
Make an appointment with ND for progesterone testing-to make sure I am taking the dose I need. 

Homeschool Portfolio Fixes

     I have been working on our homeschool portfolio this week. I knew we were supposed to keep one and I have been, I just found out I was doing it wrong. I was putting all of Kaine's school work (art, projects, handwriting, worksheets for math, science and phonics) into the 3 ring binder with a sheet of notebook paper that was logging his day/week. So, it looked like this:

1. Sheet of notebook paper with written schedule of what we did that day/week:
1. Prayer, Pledge, Weather, Calendar activities
2. Math -Whatever workbook pages he did, if we did an activity (such as matching objects, building patterns with Lego blocks, sorting, etc.)
3. Phonics- Our ABC book (pasting, cutting, finding pictures), Reviewing/Learning sounds of letters, or worksheets of letters (sounds, shape, writing)
4. Hand Writing-Worksheets 
5. Religion-Memory verse (written on board and recited every day), activity(s) from "Who Am I?" and Memory Verse book, Bible readings (including music or the passages read)
6. Science - Workbook pages, pictures of science experiments
7. Miscellaneous - O2B Kids work (art projects, pictures of sports, science projects)
2. Presented in this order:
1. Worksheets in order of: Math, Phonics, Handwriting
2. Crafts from Religion, Science, O2B Kids, Math (in clear page protectors)

What I didn't have:

1. List of books read from start of school to present (which was substantial, I had to go back through Goodreads.com, library account, current books reading on our shelves and memory to write out a list- I am sure there are books missing. Good news, we did have over 50 books in a 6 week period!)
2. Attendance Sheet (I do have this, it just wasn't/isn't in my portfolio)
3. List of textbooks (I have this also, just in my lesson plan book, not portfolio)
4. Work organized  by subject (dividers, with notebook pages as a separate "log")
5. Log of days work, organized into a section (see #4 and above)
6. The portfolio also needs to have a copy of your "letter of intent" (saying you are homeschooling and sent to the school board of your county). However, I don't need to do this until Kaine turns 6 (they don't require it until that time and Kaine is officially registered as a school child through Kolbe Academy). This will be added when Kaine starts 1st grade or turns 6 whichever comes first. 

What I have to change:

1. I need to organize the portfolio into sections. This is easy to do, I just need to get dividers and organize Kaine's work by subject
2. Keep a log of daily/weekly activities at the beginning of the portfolio (the notebook paper)
3. Add our lists of Textbooks, attendance and books read at the beginning
4. Double check to make sure that is all the portfolio needs (as appointed by the state)

      So, as you see, work needed/needs to be done. I have already placed the notebook log in the front and added dividers. I need to go through his work, by subject, and place it back into the portfolio. The one thing that is suggested is to keep the first item ever done and one of the last (example: beginning writing pages and end of unit pages). This is to show the child's progress. I, however, am going to keep ALL work (mainly because I won't throw it away anyway and it will be organized enough to keep/look at later). 

     It is nice to have a portfolio on hand. I didn't like it at first, but now I am able to see improvement in subjects (such as handwriting) that I would not have seen otherwise. It is very encouraging, especially when you don't think you are doing so well. I think it will also be nice to look at, at the end of the year, to see how much we have done and the progress we have made. I am sure the portfolio and I will be great friends after a few years! 

October 2012 already!

Hey! It's been a really long time. I have been without a laptop for a long time. Matt just found a cord for one (of the three we have) and now I am back in business!

Well, a ton of things have been happening. And since I didn't take the time to see what I posted last (cause, we all do that, right?) there might be some repeats in this post.

We started Homeschooling, officially, on September 4, 2012. Kaine is registered with Kolbe Academy as a Kindergartner. We started him a year early. I might have already explained why we did this but, I am not sure, so I will again. As I was looking over the curriculum for Pre-K, I realized that it is the same stuff he has already done, for two years in a row! So, we decided that it was time, and Kaine was ready, for the next level. So, Kindergarten at four it is! He is doing really well. His subjects are: Math, Phonics, Religion, Memory Verse, Music, Art, Handwriting, Science and Science Experiments. Some of the things I added to the curriculum are music, art and memory verses. I thought they would be good extras. We also do Prayer, Pledge, Calendar and Weather. This means that we are mostly doing prayer memorization; the pledge of allegiance; going over the calendar to recognize month, days, year and holidays; and looking out the window to discover what the days weather might be. I have to say it is going really well. Much better, in some areas, than I expected. Much worse than I expected in others, such as Handwriting! Oh, Handwriting how I loathe you! (It is getting better but, that first lesson was frustrating for both of us!) The best part is, we are learning together, I am able to see how he learns, what he is learning and what he is struggling with (so he can have more one-on-one instruction). Also, a big plus is that if he gets something right away, we can move on to something new (no wasting time). If we also don't get some things, we can decide to do more supplemental things or wait until later (when cognitive development might be better for understanding subject matter). So, all-in-all, it has been a learning experience for us both. We have had to adjust our thinking about what school is and what it means to us.

In health matters, I have gotten a little bit better. I have been talking Vitex and it seems to have helped the flooding issue I was having. However, I think my body has become used to the dose and symptoms are starting to come back. I am currently looking for a reproductive endocrinologist to help with my PCOS. I am also hoping this specialists can help me get pregnant, regulate my hormones and get things back to, or as close to normal as possible. So, the journey continues. I am hoping by Christmas I will have a clearer picture of what my health is going to look like for the long term.

If I haven't said so already, I am no longer working or looking for work. I have been able to rest, recover some and reassess my goals. I have been blessed to know that what I am doing (staying home, homeschooling) is what I am suppose to be doing. It has brought me real happiness. I feel like I can make a true difference. I have also realized that change comes in small doses. If you really want to make a difference, like I do, than you should do it one person at a time. (Not that group charity is at all bad.) I feel like making a difference in one person's life is just as spectacular as changing a million lives. And, honestly, who knows what the life you change will change later. Joseph made a decision to keep Mary, even though she was pregnant out of wedlock, and look what happened to the life he decided to honor (instead of destroy, it could have been a great loss). So, by doing my small part, I am trusting God to honor it and use it for His greater good.