Kaine fell out of his bed last night. At 2:30 in the morning. Another milestone hit. Matt picked him up and got him to go back to sleep. I got to sleep in until 10. It was heaven.
The only thing missing now is another baby to wake me up 100 times a night and have a 2 year old that still gets up once a night. I think I am coming to terms with that though. Especially if we co-sleep in the beginning like we did with Kaine. I think we will be O-Tay.
I just have to lose the weight now. I can't seem to stick with any sort of diet and want to eat sugar or anything that resembles a cookie and can't seem to pass them up or get them off my mind! I heard once when I was pregnant that sugar cravings are actually a sign that you need more protein. Boiled eggs seem to help, somewhat. Can you really compare boiled eggs to cookies though? No. I need to get serious about this if this baby is ever going to happen though! I have reached what Matt calls parallel when I do squats now. Which is jargon for you are now at a 90 degree parallel to the floor when you are squatting, which is good. I now have to achieve what my son can and does do effortlessly daily, a full squat to get full range of motion. Should be a good warm-up to birth exercises, at least. I just need to do more. That is always the case!
I wish I had someone I could walk with or a safe road to walk on! That would be good. The Gainesville-Hawthorne trail is just a 10 minute drive up the road but, I feel guilty about using the gas. I think I may start running up and down the back steps at nap time, do you think that will work? Hummm...
Anyway...
Kaine's birthday is going to be such fun and is only 6 days away now. We are going to have a small pool, possibly a sprinkler, sand-pool, water balloons, water guns, food a sort of water/sand/boat/workstation toy, pinata, three legged races and lots and lots of fun! I hope the weather is as nice as it was this weekend! Either way, we will figure it out. It rained for like two days straight before his first b-day and it still all worked out! In fact, we came inside to do presents and it let go. It worked perfectly!
Hopefully soon I will be able to post pictures. I have either forgotten how to upload with Picasa or it is just not working! Ughh...I will have to mess around with it some more this week. If I have the time!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
New Bed for Kaine
On a whim, I decided to change Kaine's room around. My whim took over his crib! I decided to get him ready for a toddler bed (actually a twin mattress on the floor) because I do not want him to have to get used to a bed and potty training at the same time. I just don't think it is something he would adjust well to.
So, I called Matt into the room, asked him what he thought and within 5 minutes the crib was being taken apart and I was making plans on how to move the room around. Kaine is standing there not knowing what is going on and starts to protest about the crib being taken apart! OH NO! What do we do now? Matt and his quick thinking says, "Don't you want to sleep in a big bed like Daddy!?" Kaine replies, "Yes!" Problem solved! (Me, I died a little inside, because I had no idea he would react like that!)
Oh crap, now I have to figure out how to get him to sleep in it! I didn't think about that! So, we go about our evening. We play. Watch a little TV. Let Kaine tell us when he is ready for bed (by this I mean, we watch him and see when he is fading. I don't actually wait for him to tell me he wants to go to bed!). He usually has an 8pm bedtime, I just thought it would be better to get him a little more sleepy, for the change in bed. He goes down with no problem, after his tuck in and story. I walk out thinking, "Boy, that was easy! Wish I would have done this months ago!" Five minutes later I hear little hands trying to open the door! I knew this was coming, I calmly walk down the hall, open the door and tell him it is time for bed. He happily says, "Okay!" and climbs back into bed and lets me tuck him in. This goes on 2 more times. On the 3rd time, I find I have been locked out of the room! Opps! Didn't think about that! Ha! Ha! Matt get's into the door (I think he broke the handle but, it still closes). So, we start from square one. He gets up two more times getting books out of the bookshelf we had also just placed in his room. Each time one of us goes in and tells him it is time to go to sleep. He is happy to comply. Before we know it, he is asleep with no yelling or crying or protesting. All of which I expected and was ready to work with. I am so glad he was ready! I so believe that he will sleep so much better on a "real" bed instead of the hard and uninviting crib mattress.
Updates, will follow. Hopefully, it will only get better!
So, I called Matt into the room, asked him what he thought and within 5 minutes the crib was being taken apart and I was making plans on how to move the room around. Kaine is standing there not knowing what is going on and starts to protest about the crib being taken apart! OH NO! What do we do now? Matt and his quick thinking says, "Don't you want to sleep in a big bed like Daddy!?" Kaine replies, "Yes!" Problem solved! (Me, I died a little inside, because I had no idea he would react like that!)
Oh crap, now I have to figure out how to get him to sleep in it! I didn't think about that! So, we go about our evening. We play. Watch a little TV. Let Kaine tell us when he is ready for bed (by this I mean, we watch him and see when he is fading. I don't actually wait for him to tell me he wants to go to bed!). He usually has an 8pm bedtime, I just thought it would be better to get him a little more sleepy, for the change in bed. He goes down with no problem, after his tuck in and story. I walk out thinking, "Boy, that was easy! Wish I would have done this months ago!" Five minutes later I hear little hands trying to open the door! I knew this was coming, I calmly walk down the hall, open the door and tell him it is time for bed. He happily says, "Okay!" and climbs back into bed and lets me tuck him in. This goes on 2 more times. On the 3rd time, I find I have been locked out of the room! Opps! Didn't think about that! Ha! Ha! Matt get's into the door (I think he broke the handle but, it still closes). So, we start from square one. He gets up two more times getting books out of the bookshelf we had also just placed in his room. Each time one of us goes in and tells him it is time to go to sleep. He is happy to comply. Before we know it, he is asleep with no yelling or crying or protesting. All of which I expected and was ready to work with. I am so glad he was ready! I so believe that he will sleep so much better on a "real" bed instead of the hard and uninviting crib mattress.
Updates, will follow. Hopefully, it will only get better!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Fear
Fear is my biggest stumbling block. I am afraid of a lot of things. More than I let on. Or, at least, more than I hope I let on. I don't know how to let go. It frightens me. More than I think I even know.
I don't like the unknown. I need things to be planned. To be a controlled predictable. Then I try to make it look spontaneous. I am not free. I live in a a cage of anxiety. I am not sure how to open the door.
Show me the way. I will follow. I just need to hear Your voice.
I don't like the unknown. I need things to be planned. To be a controlled predictable. Then I try to make it look spontaneous. I am not free. I live in a a cage of anxiety. I am not sure how to open the door.
Show me the way. I will follow. I just need to hear Your voice.
I HATE MY DOG!!! AND LIFE, AT THE MOMENT!
He just cost me $200!!! Like I have $200!!!! NNNNOOOO!!!
What happened? He got off his line when I went in to Gainesville today and decided to go to the neighbors and eat their chickens!!! EAT THEIR CHICKENS!!! So, since this is the second (oh, yes you read that right) time he has done this (we were forgive the first time because we didn't know the neighbors started raising chickens. And plus,everyone dog makes mistakes!) we now have to pay $5 per chicken. I was told 40 are missing. Granted, I don't think that the dog got that many. (I was told 14 today. So unless he killed 26 -unlikely- the time we were forgiven....) Plus, I think he thought they were playing because he didn't eat them, he just chased them and killed them and then left them where they were! But, that is beside the point. So, I told Matt through hormonal tears that the guys want $200. So, he said the same thing and said he would talk to him and work it out. Now, like I didn't have enough stress, I really do have to find a job and get the hell out of here!
I have no idea what I am going to do. I have limited skills. I can watch kids, babies, drive, fold laundry, read books, you know all of the average everyday people things that average, everyday people do. Oh yeah, and I can count pills, answer phones and get yelled at by crazy drug attics (sp?) trying to get me to give them illegal drugs! So, why don't I just use the Pharmacy Tech skills, you ask? Well, in order to make money at that I would have to work 40 hours a week, probably in a hospital (with really sick people!) doing things that I don't know how to do! Plus, I have to take an exam. Not that big of a deal but, when you don't know what you are getting yourself into do you really want to take the time to study and take a test that might not take you anywhere? Not to mention that you have to pay for the test and gas and the babysitter so you can get there, in the first place. Then, what do you do when you get a job? Not like Kaine can go with me! What is he going to do sit around and play with the chemo? Then, lets say I get a job in the hospital and I have to pay for someone else to watch my child and give away half of my paycheck. After gas and medical coverage, what exactly am I bringing home? Nothing! What is the point? Oh yeah, and have we forgotten that I want to have a baby and go to Midwifery school? How exactly am I going to be around hospital meds (including chemo and radiation) being Prego? HUMM??? Not to mention that it would look really awesome on my resume that I stayed at the hospital for a year or so because next fall I would have to quit to go to school. So, then we are back to square one! What then?
I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!! WANT TO JOIN ME?
What happened? He got off his line when I went in to Gainesville today and decided to go to the neighbors and eat their chickens!!! EAT THEIR CHICKENS!!! So, since this is the second (oh, yes you read that right) time he has done this (we were forgive the first time because we didn't know the neighbors started raising chickens. And plus,
I have no idea what I am going to do. I have limited skills. I can watch kids, babies, drive, fold laundry, read books, you know all of the average everyday people things that average, everyday people do. Oh yeah, and I can count pills, answer phones and get yelled at by crazy drug attics (sp?) trying to get me to give them illegal drugs! So, why don't I just use the Pharmacy Tech skills, you ask? Well, in order to make money at that I would have to work 40 hours a week, probably in a hospital (with really sick people!) doing things that I don't know how to do! Plus, I have to take an exam. Not that big of a deal but, when you don't know what you are getting yourself into do you really want to take the time to study and take a test that might not take you anywhere? Not to mention that you have to pay for the test and gas and the babysitter so you can get there, in the first place. Then, what do you do when you get a job? Not like Kaine can go with me! What is he going to do sit around and play with the chemo? Then, lets say I get a job in the hospital and I have to pay for someone else to watch my child and give away half of my paycheck. After gas and medical coverage, what exactly am I bringing home? Nothing! What is the point? Oh yeah, and have we forgotten that I want to have a baby and go to Midwifery school? How exactly am I going to be around hospital meds (including chemo and radiation) being Prego? HUMM??? Not to mention that it would look really awesome on my resume that I stayed at the hospital for a year or so because next fall I would have to quit to go to school. So, then we are back to square one! What then?
I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!! WANT TO JOIN ME?
Monday, April 19, 2010
May Days
I am having diapers made, 25 to be exact. Too bad it is a month away from Kaine's 2nd birthday. Potty training is right around the corner. I wonder how he will do? I hope well. Hopefully soon I will have a few pictures of some cute diapers/training pants. I had the material, so I decided to go ahead with the project. I just outsourced most of it this time, so it would actually get done!
On another note, we are having a construction site birthday party in my backyard! I am really looking forward to it. Three legged races, digging in dirt, playing in water, throwing water balloons, eating cake and smashing a pinata! Sounds like a ton of fun doesn't it?
Oh yeah, we are also going to be paying our first school fee on the first! How exciting is that? It will be a good day.Go here to see the school he will be in.
On another note, we are having a construction site birthday party in my backyard! I am really looking forward to it. Three legged races, digging in dirt, playing in water, throwing water balloons, eating cake and smashing a pinata! Sounds like a ton of fun doesn't it?
Oh yeah, we are also going to be paying our first school fee on the first! How exciting is that? It will be a good day.Go here to see the school he will be in.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Laundry Baskets are Dangerous
The funniest thing just happened! Kaine was in my room watching Cars, when I heard from the living room, "Oh! Aaagghhh!" Which I ran to! What happened? I walk into my room. Kaine is in the dirty clothes basket flailing around like a turtle that is on its back and can't get up (which is what he was!). It was honestly hilarious! The poor boy couldn't get on the bed (is what I am thinking) so thought, "Oh here is a comfy basket full of blankets and clothes, I will sit here". Well, the basket looked fuller than in was and the poor dear fell right in as he backed up to sit in it! Now I wish I had my camera but it would not have been a good time to take a picture anyway, poor thing was slightly traumatized! But, oh, how funny it was!!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Stuff that has been on my mind, while I have been away.
Kaine weighs 36 lbs. He will be two in May. I think this is amazing information. It just seems so weird to me to have a child some days. I think, "Is he really mine or is this some sort of dream? Will I wake up and find that I have been asleep this whole time?" If so, unplug the machine. I don't want to wake up!
He is such an incredible joy to have around. I can't even describe it. I love being a mom more than I love being anything else. I know what true love is, I am able to see how Jesus loves us through this relationship. Isn't that just the biggest, eye opening experience. When your child brings you to Jesus' love?
I don't have any pictures to post. I think I am going to leave that for FaceBook. I just want to write my thoughts here, even if I am the only one reading it. It helps, just to get it out into a neutral territory. Plus, I think that one day it will be something Kaine may want to read. The true thoughts that run into my head. No matter if they are ugly, pretty, or otherwise.
I am moving forward with midwifery school. UNF is annoying me. But I knew that getting involved with them would. They always have annoyed me on some level. I really do hope that something happens soon on the financial front. I am not sure how I am going to be able to pay for school if my loan doesn't come through. I realize why it has to be this way. My past coming back to haunt me. I wish they knew how much I have changed. It will work out, somehow. Even if I have to put it off for another year. I hope not, I am not good at waiting. Maybe God is trying to teach me patience. Either way, I am going ahead with the Childbirth Education course, Breastfeeding class and the Doula training. So, if school doesn't happen hopefully I will have something to fall back on. I think I may even look into becoming a Bradley Method instructor. I don't know though, I think you have to have a Bradley birth in order to become an instructor. We shall see.
He is such an incredible joy to have around. I can't even describe it. I love being a mom more than I love being anything else. I know what true love is, I am able to see how Jesus loves us through this relationship. Isn't that just the biggest, eye opening experience. When your child brings you to Jesus' love?
I don't have any pictures to post. I think I am going to leave that for FaceBook. I just want to write my thoughts here, even if I am the only one reading it. It helps, just to get it out into a neutral territory. Plus, I think that one day it will be something Kaine may want to read. The true thoughts that run into my head. No matter if they are ugly, pretty, or otherwise.
I am moving forward with midwifery school. UNF is annoying me. But I knew that getting involved with them would. They always have annoyed me on some level. I really do hope that something happens soon on the financial front. I am not sure how I am going to be able to pay for school if my loan doesn't come through. I realize why it has to be this way. My past coming back to haunt me. I wish they knew how much I have changed. It will work out, somehow. Even if I have to put it off for another year. I hope not, I am not good at waiting. Maybe God is trying to teach me patience. Either way, I am going ahead with the Childbirth Education course, Breastfeeding class and the Doula training. So, if school doesn't happen hopefully I will have something to fall back on. I think I may even look into becoming a Bradley Method instructor. I don't know though, I think you have to have a Bradley birth in order to become an instructor. We shall see.
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