I want a baby...

...and I think I need to talk about it! People are having babies left and right, or so it seems to me. I think that is wonderful! But, there is a big part of me that wishes it was me. Hopefully it will be. I don't think I should say "soon", however.
Honestly, I know why I am starting to feel this way again. Kaine is going to be 4 in less than 4 weeks. It is making me sad! I thought for sure that we would have another by now. It makes me sad to think that he is growing up without siblings. It makes me sad to think that he may never have a sibling. Sigh.
God is working. I believe the message that is being said is: "Wait." I am not sure what I am waiting on. However, I am trying to learn all I can during this waiting period.
During this time, I am trying to get my hormones in balance. I have just started a new regime. It is hormone support that acts like a natural cycle. Which, in my opinion, is a good thing. I think trying to get a cycle as close to "normal" as possible, is a good thing. So, I am taking a product called HB Formula* (hormone balance formula), during the first two weeks (to help get rid of extra estrogen). Then, for the next two weeks I am going to take T&C Formula (or toning and cleansing) to help get rid of extra, built-up tissue and congestion in my reproductive organs (of course, you should not use this if you are TTC or prego). I am also going to be using progesterone during the T&C course. The progesterone is to help support your natural production of progesterone, which is highest during the second part of your cycle (this is also the time that you would be "implanting" if you were TTC- you need progesterone to help support a viable pregnancy). Then the cycle starts all over again. I am going to do this for, at least, three months. Then, if things seem to be normalizing, the fourth month we are going to TTC without using the T&C Formula. However, we will continue to use the progesterone until the seventh month of pregnancy, when we will start to wean off for natural labor to happen on it's own. Anyway, that is a long way off. I just hope all of this stuff works and we end up pregnant when all is said and done. Please, if you are a believer, pray earnestly for us!! Add us to all of the prayer lists that you know too! We really do need a miracle here! :)
I will try to keep this thing updated. So far, so good. I feel much better than I have now that I am using the HB Formula instead of just progesterone. I just hope it continues to go well. 
*The tinctures are from Mountain Meadow Herbs. HB Formula information. T&C Formula information.

Homeschool Curriculum

This should have been posted on 2-24-12. Because it marks a big change in our lives I am including it now. There was originally going to be more to this post but, clearly, things got away from me. :)

Our homeschool curriculum is here! I ordered it two (?) weeks ago. It has been sitting around for a few days. Occasionally I will pick up a book and read/flip through it. I have to say I have mixed feelings. I was really excited when I was ordering. I was anxiously waiting for the package to arrive (it came on Ash Wednesday, coincidence, I think not!).

Homeschool Lesson #1

The Blessed Trinity (3 person's in 1 God)

That was the title of our first lesson. It was really fun. We did it Friday because St. Patrick's day really popped up on me this year. The lesson was about the three person's of God. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. To help illustrate this image we used three leaf clovers. This really was genius (and not my idea. St. Patrick was the first one to preach this topic using the clovers. That's why they are a symbol of the day!). The clovers have three separate leaves that make up one plant. It's great fun.
I also got some pictures of Kaine. One with him alone, one with his Dad, one with his Grandparents, and one with his Uncle. I labeled the one just with Kaine as "Kaine" and put it at the top. Then I  labeled the rest as "Son", "Grandson", and "Nephew". You then get some yarn. From the first, "Kaine", photo you put yarn going from that picture to the other three. It shows that "Kaine" is also three other people but, he is also still just ONE person. God must have sent me this brilliant idea, I am not that good! Plus, the pictures look really cute on the wall (where we put ours)!
We also had two vocabulary words: Trinity and Mystery. Trinity-The Blessed Trinity; the three person's in one God. Mystery- something we can not fully understand. These two words are perfect for this lesson. "Trinity" of course is the point of the lesson. "Mystery" helps the child know that this concept is a mystery and something we cannot fully understand (I know MANY people who struggle with the concept of 3 people in 1 God).
We also focused on the "Glory Be" prayer: "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen." This helps reiterate the lesson.
All-in-all, it was a great start to our Homeschooling journey. We are going to do a little bit more on this important subject. We are also focusing on letter sounds. So far, we have done a, b, c and d. Kaine really enjoys this activity. (He has expressed interest in wanting to read. This is one of the first steps!)

I've Been Busy

Life has revealed some crazy things to me! Lot's of things have been going on. I am not even sure where to begin. That is probably why I haven't written anything in a while.

Anyway, my baby wanting hasn't really gone away. We still want all the babies that we can and God will let us! However, I have a hormonal imbalance that has made me pre-menopausal (i.e. infertile!). I had a saliva profile done and got my results on Friday. Basically, I am estrogen dominate and need to do hormone replacement therapy to resupply my body with progesterone and balance everything else out. Also, the test down right confirmed that I have PCOS. (No surprise there! We have always suspected this; since I was 15!) So, we are working on figuring out the right protocol. 

What IS clear, is that A LOT of things are about to change-Inside and Out! New diet, new exercise plan (or, I should say AN exercise plan, lol), new hormone therapy, new daily schedule and a brand new menstrual cycle (hopefully one that makes sense and let's me get prego!). LOTS going on!

Also, Kaine and I are about to go down a new path. Homeschool curriculum is in the mail and on it's way to our house! I have chosen Catholic Heritage Curriculum as our preschool program. We have chosen Kolbe Academy for the rest of his education (this I have already written on). Kolbe doesn't have a preschool program so, for a few months now, I have been in search of a good, comprehensive, religious and motivating curriculum to start our journey. I am excited about it and can't wait for our package to get here! We are going to be doing religion, music, phonics, shapes, numbers, letters, colors, sounds, and learning about the Liturgical year (Church calendar). It will be great!

We are also looking into getting Kaine into some extra curricular activities like gymnastics. He needs some kid time and some sort of energy release. I haven't found a good place yet. Once my Nanny duties are done, we will be looking more and more into it. (Alas, all things will be dependent of my freeing up my time and focusing on getting healthy.)

Because I should post something...

Depressing! I can't believe I let this thing go as long as I have without, at least, SOME word written on it! Anyway....TONS of things have changed. Some good, some bad, as it always seems to go.

The holidays were nice, a bit hectic but, filled with family. Kaine and the rest of the bunch had a great Christmas.
I started a new job (sort of) and have consequently ended said job within a month due to many factors (mainly, it just was not a comfortable situation and wasn't working with my family dynamics).
Kaine is no longer in pre-school. We want to home-school eventually anyway and I figured "why not start now?". Also, couldn't do job AND school (not that it was REALLY an issue or hard decision anyway).
I guess this is what I will talk about. Kaine misses school. He has been frequently (more now than ever) asking to go back. It breaks my heart that I have taken him out of something that he was enjoying. I truly do feel, however, that we are making a better "future" choice for him. Having said that, I don't feel like putting him in a school environment is what any of us truly want. I know what he is missing are the friends. So, we have started to look into new areas that get him out of the house and with his peers (one of the downfalls of home education, in my opinion, is ignoring the social needs of the children undergoing said home education). We want him to start gymnastics, he seems really excited about the prospect too. I would like to get him into some sort of sport but, my physiologist husband (lol) thinks that putting him into something like that too early will hinder him later in life (more along the lines of basically setting him up to be a baseball player at an early age and with the "learning" of that type of movement the body grows toward that instead of reaching its full, mobile potential. Did that make sense?). I don't really know how to explain that sort of thing. Also, my husband is super smart and knows what he is talking about so, really, I just let him handle it :).
So, Kaine is doing well in other aspects of life. But I do see room for improvement. I also see that he wasn't getting much out of going to school anyway (he really has regressed in his learning abilities). This is in part due to the fact that everyone in his class, at the pre-school, had some sort of learning disability, was behind, had speech issues or was just plain younger than he was (this makes the class sound bad but, mostly the language skills weren't as high as his and he wasn't being challenged enough). I think once we figure out this new routine and start adding "class time" to our schedule, things will work themselves out.

Moving on...

     So, we just decided tonight that we may...possibly...might be...moving. Again. I know, I know. But, really we need more space. This space would be fine and all...but...well...there is literally one "common" closet (the other three are in bedrooms (and they aren't walk in's if you get my drift). The kitchen is insanely small and doubles as a laundry room, i.e, it is VERY cluttered and hardly ever clean. Plus! No pantry. None. BIG DEAL! BIG! (Think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when you read that!)
     Also, our neighbors are dirty. I mean, they have a growing pile of trash on a chair (think: like the ones you find at Goodwill that are short and weirdly upholstered, that has been there since we moved in- probably longer) that I can see from my kitchen/laundry window. Not to mention, my backyard, that isn't usable because of said trash pile and other unmentionables I found back there when, around this time last year, I was trying to clean it out! Ugh. Not to mention that there are like 7 people living in a space meant for MAYBE 3. And one of them is in a wheelchair, you do the math on that one. Except, and I wish the horrors stopped there, but the smell is unbelievable! Think: Never. Been. Cleaned. EVER. I know, gross. Get why we need to move now?
     I really, really don't want to move though. I love the area we are in. The other neighbors are awesome. Our landlord leaves us alone and pretty much lets us do whatever we want (I have seriously planted and redone the front lawn and it looks awesome!). Kaine also has friends here. Plus, I don't want to put that boy through yet ANOTHER move. (If you are counting, since he has been born this would make 3 and he is only 3 and a half.) Big parental fail. But, it would be for his benefit because we need more space. Maybe the next place will stick? Who knows. So, the search is on. Here goes nothing.

It's Halloween Season!

I have been super busy lately. Which has been a blessing (not having to focus on "baby" stuff anymore!). But, I am also starting to feel ill. Hope it goes away quickly. Anyway...
I have just finished Kaine's Angry Bird costume. I didn't want to spend $60 for the retail version. Not to mention that they are made so cheaply (which makes me even angrier about the price tag!) so, I made my own. I got a Simplicity pattern for around $10 at Joanne's. It was for a chicken costume (and another costume that is a pumpkin- SO CUTE). So, I figured I could turn the chicken costume into a red Angry Bird. So, I did. It came out amazing!! I am so thrilled by it, that I am planning on entering a Halloween costume contest too. I just love it to death. Plus, when Kaine put it on, he immediately started to act like he was a Angry Bird, with awesome sound effects too. We took him outside so I could get a good picture by our pumpkins. He started to "flap" his wings. It was really, really cute! He loves it. I am so happy about the whole thing.
Also, I am making Matt's Cher costume too. I am not so thrilled about this one. I kinda messed up on the shirt so, now I am trying to fix my mistakes without making it look too crappy (or having to eat the cost and just go out and make/or find something that will work). :( So, we will see about how this comes out. But, it entails a "fringe" or "tassel" like shirt (complete with beads!). Made out of white pleather. Can you just imagine? LOL. I also ordered a Cher wig from Amazon.com. It is hilariously long. I want to get some bright red lipstick, some make-up/paint (think foundation), stick on nails and of course (!) some fake eye lashes. Don't you wish you were coming to our Halloween party?? Haha!
We are both going to wear jeans made into bell-bottoms. I found a really good tutorial online that shows how to easily transform a pair of regular jeans into bell-bottoms. Which is nice because then you know the jeans are going to fit and then, possibly, you could just take them apart again and have your regular jeans back again (that is, if I feel like putting them back together, lol).
I am going to be Sonny, of course. I just bought a really expensive wig and mustache combo. I was trying to avoid this but, could not find a good alternative at a party store (the three that I went to, by-the-way). Then I am going to be wearing a tie-dye shirt that I got at the party store. And some "rose colored" glasses.  It is going to be hilarious. So, hilarity will ensue.