Fertility

I have been working on my issues lately. I have been trying different combinations of things to help my body naturally heal. I feel like I am going to be on a really long journey here. Honestly, it is a bit overwhelming, thinking of all of the things that are out-of-balance and need to be fixed.  A part of me is starting to feel like nothing I do will improve the problems I am/have been experiencing. (If you have been reading, you know what I mean.)
I have to say taking a tincture is much better than rubbing dirt smelling, greasy progesterone on my body two times a day. However, that isn't going to be something that is stopping altogether either (it is still part of the protocol). The tincture (HB Formula) is easy to take and only takes about 5 seconds to prepare and down. It is an improvement from rubbing, rubbing and more rubbing, lol!
Anyways, I think my real problem is that I am having baby fever all over again. So, impatience is REALLY starting to kick in again. AND, because I have just started another 3 month cycle, waiting is NOT something I really want to do! *Sigh*
On  an unrelated note, I have been praying to increase my patience, soooo...maybe this is a test. I have a feeling I am going to fail but, I really don't want to. I hope God gives me the grace and abilitly to step out of my own way!

Monster Trucks

We went to Monster Jam this past weekend. It was surprisingly (for me) a lot of fun. We went because Kaine is obsessed with monster trucks. His birthday party, May 19th, is going to be monster truck themed too. That is how much he likes them!

I am getting really excited about his party. We are going to have it at our new place, which many people haven't seen. At first, however, I was underwhelmed (at best) about the monster truck theme! I really, really wanted to do a colorful birthday party (I usually say "rainbow" but, it really is more about colors, there were not going to be any rainbows about). But, I couldn't sell it, lol. I would ask, "Want to do a colorful, rainbow party? How about Pirates? Camp-out?" Pretty much anything but monster trucks! I was completely uninspired.

I am coming around. I have even found a really fun water "feature" for his party. I got it off of pinterest, of course! It is called "kid car wash" and I can not wait for Matt to build it! (Caught that did you, I DID say Matt, lol!) I think it will be amazing. According to the instructions, it isn't that expensive to make either, which is always nice. Plus, I figure, we can use it for the rest of the summer and probably for other summers too. That should be awesome! Here is a picture:

Disney's Family Fun

Pinterest

I want a baby...

...and I think I need to talk about it! People are having babies left and right, or so it seems to me. I think that is wonderful! But, there is a big part of me that wishes it was me. Hopefully it will be. I don't think I should say "soon", however.
Honestly, I know why I am starting to feel this way again. Kaine is going to be 4 in less than 4 weeks. It is making me sad! I thought for sure that we would have another by now. It makes me sad to think that he is growing up without siblings. It makes me sad to think that he may never have a sibling. Sigh.
God is working. I believe the message that is being said is: "Wait." I am not sure what I am waiting on. However, I am trying to learn all I can during this waiting period.
During this time, I am trying to get my hormones in balance. I have just started a new regime. It is hormone support that acts like a natural cycle. Which, in my opinion, is a good thing. I think trying to get a cycle as close to "normal" as possible, is a good thing. So, I am taking a product called HB Formula* (hormone balance formula), during the first two weeks (to help get rid of extra estrogen). Then, for the next two weeks I am going to take T&C Formula (or toning and cleansing) to help get rid of extra, built-up tissue and congestion in my reproductive organs (of course, you should not use this if you are TTC or prego). I am also going to be using progesterone during the T&C course. The progesterone is to help support your natural production of progesterone, which is highest during the second part of your cycle (this is also the time that you would be "implanting" if you were TTC- you need progesterone to help support a viable pregnancy). Then the cycle starts all over again. I am going to do this for, at least, three months. Then, if things seem to be normalizing, the fourth month we are going to TTC without using the T&C Formula. However, we will continue to use the progesterone until the seventh month of pregnancy, when we will start to wean off for natural labor to happen on it's own. Anyway, that is a long way off. I just hope all of this stuff works and we end up pregnant when all is said and done. Please, if you are a believer, pray earnestly for us!! Add us to all of the prayer lists that you know too! We really do need a miracle here! :)
I will try to keep this thing updated. So far, so good. I feel much better than I have now that I am using the HB Formula instead of just progesterone. I just hope it continues to go well. 
*The tinctures are from Mountain Meadow Herbs. HB Formula information. T&C Formula information.

Homeschool Curriculum

This should have been posted on 2-24-12. Because it marks a big change in our lives I am including it now. There was originally going to be more to this post but, clearly, things got away from me. :)

Our homeschool curriculum is here! I ordered it two (?) weeks ago. It has been sitting around for a few days. Occasionally I will pick up a book and read/flip through it. I have to say I have mixed feelings. I was really excited when I was ordering. I was anxiously waiting for the package to arrive (it came on Ash Wednesday, coincidence, I think not!).

Homeschool Lesson #1

The Blessed Trinity (3 person's in 1 God)

That was the title of our first lesson. It was really fun. We did it Friday because St. Patrick's day really popped up on me this year. The lesson was about the three person's of God. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. To help illustrate this image we used three leaf clovers. This really was genius (and not my idea. St. Patrick was the first one to preach this topic using the clovers. That's why they are a symbol of the day!). The clovers have three separate leaves that make up one plant. It's great fun.
I also got some pictures of Kaine. One with him alone, one with his Dad, one with his Grandparents, and one with his Uncle. I labeled the one just with Kaine as "Kaine" and put it at the top. Then I  labeled the rest as "Son", "Grandson", and "Nephew". You then get some yarn. From the first, "Kaine", photo you put yarn going from that picture to the other three. It shows that "Kaine" is also three other people but, he is also still just ONE person. God must have sent me this brilliant idea, I am not that good! Plus, the pictures look really cute on the wall (where we put ours)!
We also had two vocabulary words: Trinity and Mystery. Trinity-The Blessed Trinity; the three person's in one God. Mystery- something we can not fully understand. These two words are perfect for this lesson. "Trinity" of course is the point of the lesson. "Mystery" helps the child know that this concept is a mystery and something we cannot fully understand (I know MANY people who struggle with the concept of 3 people in 1 God).
We also focused on the "Glory Be" prayer: "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen." This helps reiterate the lesson.
All-in-all, it was a great start to our Homeschooling journey. We are going to do a little bit more on this important subject. We are also focusing on letter sounds. So far, we have done a, b, c and d. Kaine really enjoys this activity. (He has expressed interest in wanting to read. This is one of the first steps!)

I've Been Busy

Life has revealed some crazy things to me! Lot's of things have been going on. I am not even sure where to begin. That is probably why I haven't written anything in a while.

Anyway, my baby wanting hasn't really gone away. We still want all the babies that we can and God will let us! However, I have a hormonal imbalance that has made me pre-menopausal (i.e. infertile!). I had a saliva profile done and got my results on Friday. Basically, I am estrogen dominate and need to do hormone replacement therapy to resupply my body with progesterone and balance everything else out. Also, the test down right confirmed that I have PCOS. (No surprise there! We have always suspected this; since I was 15!) So, we are working on figuring out the right protocol. 

What IS clear, is that A LOT of things are about to change-Inside and Out! New diet, new exercise plan (or, I should say AN exercise plan, lol), new hormone therapy, new daily schedule and a brand new menstrual cycle (hopefully one that makes sense and let's me get prego!). LOTS going on!

Also, Kaine and I are about to go down a new path. Homeschool curriculum is in the mail and on it's way to our house! I have chosen Catholic Heritage Curriculum as our preschool program. We have chosen Kolbe Academy for the rest of his education (this I have already written on). Kolbe doesn't have a preschool program so, for a few months now, I have been in search of a good, comprehensive, religious and motivating curriculum to start our journey. I am excited about it and can't wait for our package to get here! We are going to be doing religion, music, phonics, shapes, numbers, letters, colors, sounds, and learning about the Liturgical year (Church calendar). It will be great!

We are also looking into getting Kaine into some extra curricular activities like gymnastics. He needs some kid time and some sort of energy release. I haven't found a good place yet. Once my Nanny duties are done, we will be looking more and more into it. (Alas, all things will be dependent of my freeing up my time and focusing on getting healthy.)

Because I should post something...

Depressing! I can't believe I let this thing go as long as I have without, at least, SOME word written on it! Anyway....TONS of things have changed. Some good, some bad, as it always seems to go.

The holidays were nice, a bit hectic but, filled with family. Kaine and the rest of the bunch had a great Christmas.
I started a new job (sort of) and have consequently ended said job within a month due to many factors (mainly, it just was not a comfortable situation and wasn't working with my family dynamics).
Kaine is no longer in pre-school. We want to home-school eventually anyway and I figured "why not start now?". Also, couldn't do job AND school (not that it was REALLY an issue or hard decision anyway).
I guess this is what I will talk about. Kaine misses school. He has been frequently (more now than ever) asking to go back. It breaks my heart that I have taken him out of something that he was enjoying. I truly do feel, however, that we are making a better "future" choice for him. Having said that, I don't feel like putting him in a school environment is what any of us truly want. I know what he is missing are the friends. So, we have started to look into new areas that get him out of the house and with his peers (one of the downfalls of home education, in my opinion, is ignoring the social needs of the children undergoing said home education). We want him to start gymnastics, he seems really excited about the prospect too. I would like to get him into some sort of sport but, my physiologist husband (lol) thinks that putting him into something like that too early will hinder him later in life (more along the lines of basically setting him up to be a baseball player at an early age and with the "learning" of that type of movement the body grows toward that instead of reaching its full, mobile potential. Did that make sense?). I don't really know how to explain that sort of thing. Also, my husband is super smart and knows what he is talking about so, really, I just let him handle it :).
So, Kaine is doing well in other aspects of life. But I do see room for improvement. I also see that he wasn't getting much out of going to school anyway (he really has regressed in his learning abilities). This is in part due to the fact that everyone in his class, at the pre-school, had some sort of learning disability, was behind, had speech issues or was just plain younger than he was (this makes the class sound bad but, mostly the language skills weren't as high as his and he wasn't being challenged enough). I think once we figure out this new routine and start adding "class time" to our schedule, things will work themselves out.