I feel encouragement. I feel hope. Well, maybe not fully. But, I am trying. I know that there is now a reason for so many things to have happened in my life. (This, I have always suspected.) God does have a plan. I now know that I wasn't suppose to get pregnant. God was trying to tell me this whole time that I had something wrong with me. He does know that there are things that affect us, even if we can't see them ourselves. This is not going to be an easy journey. I am at the beginning of a long and tedious battle. I don't even know yet what I am facing, in fact. I just know it isn't going to be an easy one.
Now, I know I am being dramatic. It is part of who I am (most can't handle it). But, we are all selfish beings whose problems are amplified because it is the only thing we truly experience on our own. If we can somehow step outside of ourselves, we may be able to overcome (with God's divine help). It is precisely this power that has me so calm. I feel like I should be freaking out. Especially faced with the possibilities of what might be coming (more later). I just don't have it. I am in a pure "wait and see" type of feeling. A "peace that passes all understanding", I assume. It can only be from God. It is so unnatural that that is the only place it has to be from. I have to say, it is nice. In the face of hard times to have such a calm is comforting, uplifting and encouraging. A sort of "hope floats" type of thing, if you will. God is great and will provide.
Peace and understanding and love. That is what you need when you feel like you are about to fall off the face of the earth. God provides. He does, if you are willing to lay yourself aside and trust Him. That is the only condition and, although it isn't easy to do, the pay-off is worth it. You get so much more back. More than you could ever imagine. More than I could ever describe. God's love is all encompassing. God provides. God provides.
Now, I know I am being dramatic. It is part of who I am (most can't handle it). But, we are all selfish beings whose problems are amplified because it is the only thing we truly experience on our own. If we can somehow step outside of ourselves, we may be able to overcome (with God's divine help). It is precisely this power that has me so calm. I feel like I should be freaking out. Especially faced with the possibilities of what might be coming (more later). I just don't have it. I am in a pure "wait and see" type of feeling. A "peace that passes all understanding", I assume. It can only be from God. It is so unnatural that that is the only place it has to be from. I have to say, it is nice. In the face of hard times to have such a calm is comforting, uplifting and encouraging. A sort of "hope floats" type of thing, if you will. God is great and will provide.
Peace and understanding and love. That is what you need when you feel like you are about to fall off the face of the earth. God provides. He does, if you are willing to lay yourself aside and trust Him. That is the only condition and, although it isn't easy to do, the pay-off is worth it. You get so much more back. More than you could ever imagine. More than I could ever describe. God's love is all encompassing. God provides. God provides.
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