"Mickey Mouse doesn't like Diapers."

I have been ovulating all weekend, according to my test strips. I am no longer ovulating but, we took advantage of the fact that I was. I also confirmed the ovulation with my knowledge of natural ovulation signs, such as: clear, slippery, stretchy discharge; high cervix; and, for me, the WANT to have sex. SO...here is hoping that implantation is successful and I get a positive prego test within the month (I hope!). The only thing now, I have to wait! UGH...I don't like waiting and sometimes wish I had x-ray vision so I could see what the hell was going on inside of me. I am just going to trust that it happened and, if not, that there is a reason and a better time for babies coming!

In other news, potty training is going great! Kaine goes pee in the potty and has actually moved himself the "big potty". We are starting to notice that he is either dry or just slightly peed when he wakes up too. Over the weekend he woke up one morning completely dry and also had a dry nap! It was great. But, like with anything, there is a draw back, Kaine won't poop in the potty! I have no idea why. He did once but, for some reason he won't any more (I made it a positive thing too!). So, I am hoping he is just going through a phase and will get it when he is ready. Like he did when he decided to go use the "big potty". (He even used it at a restaurant when we went!) I am pleased that it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I guess stickers and the promise that Mickey Mouse would love to see Kaine when he isn't wearing diapers (which aren't allowed in Mickey's house, did you know?) really is a great motivator to move into big boy pants! Monster truck undies don't hurt either!

New Places

We have moved into Gainesville. I was hesitant to like it, at first. I wanted to see how it was going to play out. It turns out it is very good. We are saving a boat load on money, for gas, anyway. Actually we aren't doing to bad on money either way you look at it, which of course, is nice. I have been working on fixing it up. I am also trying to work on my house wife-ness by keeping it clean and organized more than one day a month! It is coming along and, if I do say so myself, I am doing pretty well in my house duties. (I am also enjoying it, surprise of the century to me!) The backyard is my next project. I just really started to work on it yesterday, thanks to Mom. It was horribly over-grown and Matt had gone out there and chopped a bunch of it down. I wasn't sure where to start in cleaning it up but, when Mom came over yesterday - I was showing her the place- and she said I would just have to pile up the stuff and pull out all of the dead overgrowth. She helped me clean a small patch. It was encouraging and it inspired me to spend about an hour outside today piling things up so I would be able to see what I needed to pull up. It should be a wonderful space once it is all clean! Kaine, I am sure, will benefit the most. I haven't decided if we are going to do a garden this year or not. I guess I will have to see how it comes out and if Matt wants to do one.

On personal issues, I have not resumed bleeding, Thank GOD!! I have gotten three positive ovulation test in a row over the weekend. We have been using the time that Matt has been home as baby making time! I am hoping, beyond hope, that pregnancy is right around the corner. I must say, having all of this in my life right now, has truly renewed my spirit! I so can't wait to wake up and get things going. I feel so renewed! I just wish it was spring, so I could celebrate with the earth! How wonderful a feeling it is to feel renewed when the world is coming back to life, there really is no better feeling! So, for now, it is Spring in my heart! Oh, the places we shall go!

Pregnancy Dreams

I have stopped bleeding, miracles never cease!! It seems to me that I have stopped bleeding just in time, or perhaps, for ovulation! I am so pleased, I have had a smile on my face for, well most of the day.

Here is some background, no blood stories, I promise! I wasn't sure that I ovulated at all. I was having a hard time charting, at least the temperature thing that I was doing (someone once told me that having a fan on in the room will give you a negative reading, so I never really trusted what it was saying). I was pretty sure that I ovulated right after I stopped bleeding (like within 2 days of stopping). But, of course, everyone will tell you "that is not normal" (normal is overrated!!). Anyway, I always feel the best right after my periods and I always WANT to have sex (which was one of my indicators that I was ovulating, because I never, really, want to have sex). I wasn't really trusting it, because I really wanted it confirmed (stupid, I know!). So, here I am with some ovulation test strips that I got from babyhopes.com. They were running a special and I got 50 ovulation strips with 30 pregnancy strips for like $30 with shipping! Pretty damn good, have you been to CVS or some where similar and seen how much those things are?? So, last night I had a feeling that something was going on. I decided to go into the bathroom and do a test. It was negative, which is what I was expecting, I was just feeling "different". You know what I mean? Today I couldn't really shake the feeling, so I took another one around lunch time. To my great delight it was positive!! I was so elated I called Matt immediately to tell him I was ovulating!! Oh great day!

I am sure you can put two and two together and know what happened next, so I will leave it to your imagination. I plan on using this weekend as a sort of "conception weekend", if you get my drift. If anything it will make up for the month + that my husband has had to put up with nothing! So, win-win. I hope to soon post about a positive pregnancy test! Praying for success!!

Mostly Updates

I haven't been posting, obviously. I have been really busy lately. Not really stressed out (although, I am starting to feel that way about some things) -just busy. We  moved back into Gainesville and have been trying to put the house together. It has been a real ordeal. We have had to fix a lot of unexpected things and there are still MANY things to do.

I have also been potty training Kaine. It was more of a suggestion of his school, with everybody starting to train now. I was afraid to start it. Especially based on the last times I have tried. None went very far. This time around has been MUCH better! I started by reading books to him and getting him a video from the library about potty training. He really likes the video and asks to watch it. It is about a little boy learning and his sister is the one that talks about what to do. So, it is really cute and from a kids perspective, which helps, I think. We are still having issues with night time, especially since he still isn't sleeping through the night. Which I think is causing him to get up and pee. I am not sure how to remedy this, I am just hoping he grows out of it. We are not using pull-ups though, we are using little boy under ware and plastic pants, so he feels wet and so I don't have to change the sheets every day! We are just taking it one day at a time.

As for me, bleeding is still an issue. I have tried to use all of the tinctures I can find that are suppose to stop a hemorrhage within minutes. I have tried to use teas, tonics and whatever else I can think of too! NOTHING is working! I am not convinced that tinctures even work for me. I tried to use them to induce labor, along with Castor oil, and NOTHING happened then either. NOTHING, no cramping, no increase in discomfort, I just felt exhausted because of the mental drainage. That is pretty much where I am now. I am FED UP!!! I want to stop bleeding! It is SERIOUSLY RIDICULOUS at this point!! I am willing to try anything, short of hormones and surgery! I just hope it stops soon.

Some concerns that I have: the bleeding is number one, of course. Along those same lines would be the fact that I have been bleeding so long now that I am afraid that if I get pregnant that I will not be able to even sustain a pregnancy because I am so deficient in vitamins or minerals or something. What if there is something really wrong that is going to make caring a baby hard or, God forbid, impossible?? I don't know. I am just worried that things are not going to work out the way that I want them to and that I truly don't have any idea what I am doing! I am hoping this is just a trial in faith that will bless me with a mess of babies down the road! Wouldn't that be lovely??

Kaine and Daddy

I have been noticing lately that Kaine misses his Daddy more and more these days. Not because he doesn't love me or that Matt isn't around a lot (which is simply not true). I just think he is finally getting to that "little boy stage" in life. He is starting to form his own opinions about things. He is starting to form his own likes and dislikes. He no longer sees himself as "part of mommy", like all the experts say babies see themselves. This is good...and bad. Good for Matt, he has SO been looking forward to this "boy time". Bad for Mommy. Mommy loves the fact that Kaine is growing up big and strong. I also love the fact that he is able to make his own choices and do things for himself. And, I don't even think I have to mention, how much I love that he wants to be with his Daddy when he isn't home! But, it does give me some lonely twinges. I think it is time for a new family member. Not, in any way, to replace Kaine but, to add more love to our house. Plus, now that I know a little better (sorry Kaine) more fun the second time around!

Our Philosophy on Baby Making

Matt and I have been talking a lot lately about making a baby. We have really started talking about God's role in our lives too. We have come to the conclusion that if we really are Christ believers than we are called to give Him all of us. We must truly trust that God has our best interests at heart and that He "won't give us more than we can handle" in this life. So, how does this apply to babies? Well, we have decided to have as many as we are given. Yes, even if that means that we have 50 or more. We believe children are God's blessing - Not, under ANY circumstance, a burden.
The only problem now is that we are not having any luck. My bleeding issue has peeked it's ugly little head again. I am not sure when or IF I ovulate. I may even have some sort of underlining condition that is causing us not to get pregnant but, because we don't have insurance, we are just going to have to put this too in God's hands. (I truly do believe that it will happen in God's time and not our own.)
So, now with all that said. I feel torn. I am not sure if I am suppose to be checking my basal body temperature or cervical mucus. Would this be trusting God or taking it into my own hands? Most of me thinks it is the latter. But, I am not sure. Ever heard of the story about the man that was stranded on his house during a flood, here is goes:

There was a big flood one day. Enough to cover all the houses. A man sought refuge

on his roof. A person on a raft came by and offered the man a spot to get to safety. To which

the man replied, "No, God will save me!" So the raft moved on. Next a boat came by

and asked the man to get aboard. The man replied, "No, God will save me!" Then a helicopter

came by and tried to force the man from his roof. The man replied, "No, God will save me!"

By and by, the water kept rising. The man kept refusing help. It turns out that he drowns. When

he gets to heaven he asks God, "Why didn't you save me?" To which God replies, "I

sent you a raft, boat and helicopter! What else did you want?"

See my point?

Moving and Blood Issues

We found a place in Gainesville that we are going to start renting. I am not sure if the neighborhood is such a great place or not but, it is a 3/1 for $700/month, so I guess we can't complain too much. I am not really looking forward to being there, only because I don't like not knowing how things are going to turn out. I am also pretty sad about moving, which surprises me. I am hoping that once we are officially in this new place that I will start to feel better about it all.

On the bleeding front, the crazy blood flow is back. I have been bleeding now, for almost, ummm, a month or so. The only good thing is that is has not been as heavy as the last 3 month bleed was. I am really hoping that this is not going to become something normal especially since we are trying to get pregnant. I also know, however, that my body is trying to tell me something. I think I am going to have to bite the bullet and actually have someone look at me. Or at least give me some idea of what I should do. I just don't know where to go or what to really ask. Plus, I have no insurance and don't want to end up spending a crap ton of money on something that can very possibly come out to this sort of diagnosis: "We don't know." "You are just going to have to live with it." "It is a hormone problem, take some birth control." "You have fibroids." "You need major surgery." Blah, more uterus trouble than I really want to deal with at the moment. I am at the point that I just really want to know what I am looking at. I want to be able to have something that I can work toward fixing and not have to worry about worrying about anymore, if that made sense. I think I will start at the Birth Center and go from there...