Future Baby Names - Girl

     I have been thinking -a lot- lately about baby names. I have decided that Evangeline will be the next name that we use - providing, of course, that we have a girl. I want the next baby to have a name that means something. That truly is beautiful. That shows how much that baby was/is wanted. Names, in my opinion, should mean something. (Kaine, by the way, is named after his paternal grandfather - Braxton Kaine Mallard - his grandfather was Robert Braxton Mallard).
     Evangeline means "good news; bearer of good news" (from this site). Also, "like an angel" (from this site) . This too, "coined from the Latin evangelium [meaning] good news (the gospel)" (from this site ). How about "messenger of good news" (from this site).  It is also a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, titled Evangeline and written in 1848.
   The feelings that the name evokes are exactly what I want. It truly would be "good news" to find out that I am pregnant. If the baby makes it the whole pregnancy she will be the "messenger of good  news" or the "bearer of good news". I can't seem to think of any better name than that!  
   I have been wondering if God was going to send me a name. I have heard many people pray about the names that they give their children and God answers. It has been on my mind, for a while, that Evangeline was a pretty name. Something - or Someone - prompted me to look up the meaning. As soon as I found out what it meant, it was like a light bulb flashed on. I am almost hoping we do have a girl at one point just so I can use it! (By the way, my companion name, if we are to ever have a twin, and a boy too (!), would be Eli. I am going to have to look that up and see what it means!)

Updates: Loren & Kaine

     I am still having bleeding problems. I started progesterone about 2 weeks ago. I have come to realize, however, that I am not getting enough. So, I have started a regimen to stop the bleeding (initially) and then to initiate a regular cycle (eventually). The idea is to get the bleeding to stop altogether and then make a predictable cycle (like those of you who are blessed with a normal period cycle). The good thing about this is, I will know-without a doubt- when I am ovulating  and when and if I got pregnant. I know I ovulate, and when my period does decide to be sort of regular, I can figure out the day I am fertile. However, I don't always have this benefit. I never know if the cycle is going to happen, when it will happen and for how long it will happen. I would love (!) to know this information. So, that is where the progesterone comes in.
     So, for about the next 1-3 months this will be my daily routine (you don't really know what dose will work for you so you have to start at 400mg/day and increase it to 600mg/day gradually): every hour, starting at 9:30am I will alternate dosing, starting at 40mg, then 20mg, then 40mg and so on until 9:30pm. That will be 400mg/day, and I am going to do this for a week and see what happens. If the bleeding doesn't change, decrease or stop then I will up the dose until one of these things happen. Once I find the dose that stops the bleeding I will slowly decrease it to see which does causes the bleeding to start again. In this manner, I will find out what dose my body needs. Then I will do two weeks on and two weeks off at that dose. This will help my body to regulate its self. It will also allow my body to ovulate naturally and naturally bring on a period. Therefore, letting me get a regular cycle that is predictable.

     In other news, I am currently on a diet to lose weight. I like that I am doing this with the progesterone therapy because, hopefully, they will both reach normal at the same time. The plan is to lose the weight and regulate my system at the same time in order to achieve pregnancy at the optimal time. Of course, no time limit is really going to help, I will just have to wait and see how all things play out.
     I am also currently trying to get everything together to go back to school. I went and saw an adviser yesterday and everything academically is set and ready to go. Financially, paperwork has to be done. I am currently waiting on my pin number in order to access my past financial aid papers so I can give them proof of payment. Once all this is sorted out and my letter comes through, I will be able to register for classes. I have three more general classes to take and then I am onto my core requirements. But, I can also do them at the same time. Once this part is done, I move onto my bachelor's degree in Early Childhood Education. It may take me a while but, I am not worried about that. After all, it has taken me this long already, right?

     Kaine is doing well. He seems not to want to take naps lately, however. I am not sure if he just isn't getting enough action during the day or what. I have noticed that Kaine not getting a nap has improved his nighttime sleep. He goes to sleep faster (instead of taking 2+ hours to go down) and either sleeps through the night or gets up later. I have to say, it is about time! I truly wish this is here to stay. So, just in case, I have made him have "movie hour" during the afternoon. He is not able to get up and has to watch the whole movie before his rest is over. He seems to like this just fine. We have cut out an electrical entertainment after dinner too. Which really seems to help him calm down or get out extra energy before bed (we have been playing games or sports). So, I am hoping that he starts to sleep, more consistently, through the night. As soon as school starts again, poor Kaine will definitely have to keep up his naps, he gets SOOO tired! But, maybe this routine will get him used to staying asleep at night, therefore improving everyone's sleep. 
    

Cleaning Up My Body

I have decided to detox. Today is day one. It is suppose to be a 4-week plan. Each week focuses on a different part of the body. This week is the kidneys and the intestines. Lot's of fruits, juices (freshly juiced in my awesome juicer that my mom gave us when Kaine was born-so I could make him healthy foods!), veggies, cranberry juice (highly diluted-thank goodness, that stuff is expensive!), and lot's and lots of water.
I am doing detox to jump-start my weight loss. I have really been trying to find the perfect plan for us (because, we basically ALL have to be on a diet for it to work for me! lol). It has been hard and I haven't been able to stick with ANY of them. But, this is affordable and easily attainable, because I am not eating much.
Here is a break down of a "normal" Phase 1 day:

• Warm water with lemon, upon rising
• Skin brushing (to help with lymph pick-up and circulation)
• 30 minute brisk walk
• Cranberry juice and water (1:4) with psyllium husks
• Apple (for the pectin)
• Water throughout the day
• Fruit all morning
• Large salad for lunch
• Wait 2-3 hours before eating again
• Eat more fruit if hungry
• Large salad and vegetarian meal for dinner

Each week you add something more to this plan. Basically, this plan allows your body to rest. Which, honestly, I think it will be a sigh of relief for my body. Especially since it is still acting up. I really hope this helps regulate my hormones and menstrual cycle too. I want a baby! Nothing worth having is ever easy to come by, right? So, the hard work starts here. It is time that I take getting this weight off seriously and seriously start to look to the future. I am very hopeful, even if this adventure doesn't result in a baby. I REALLY do need to lose weight, no matter what. My future will look much better (for all of us) if I was 40-50lbs lighter. That is not just about vanity either, being lighter will give me much more energy, stamina and the will to get things done! If a baby happens to come along too, that is great. But, we aren't trying right now. The weight comes first and then, in a few months, we will start to try again.

Oh, and also, I have started on my progesterone regime. I am not sure if I have talked about this or not. I have been reading, reading, reading, and reading about how to get my body into a good childbearing situation. But, you know you can't get pregnant if you never stop bleeding in the first place! So, what to do, what to do? That has been my constant question. So, I found a fabulous website that walks you through everything. Here is the link: Natural Fertility Information. It is very informative. If you are really interested in the progesterone thing here is the link to that: Progesterone Fertility Guide. I am just using it to regulate my cycle and get the bleeding to stop. I am now going on six weeks of bleeding because my body is just making a really thick lining and it isn't able to shed it appropriately. So, the progesterone is going to level everything out. And, it has considerably lessened my bleeding. I also barely have any clots. A BIG - HUGE improvement to what it was! Plus, it has only been one week. I can't wait to see what happens when this stuff starts to build up in my system. I might be a completely new woman! *Here's to hoping!* So, day one and week one have been successful. I hope it stays like this! :)

Healing wounds

I am starting to think that there really is something to the "it is really meant to be" phrase. If it is meant to be it will be. I have long been an advocate for this phrase.

I always thought, as  I am sure all women and young girls do, that if you have unprotected sex YOU WILL GET PREGNANT! Not so. Apparently it is really hard to get pregnant, even for those of us that don't actually have problems. Apparently, you are only fertile, at best, 2-3 days a month. That's it! No, I had unprotected sex and then my period started, Thank God! moments. No, oh boy I hope I didn't just walk into something that I am not sure I can handle. Nope, you have a small and VERY precise window. Add any type of problem to this, and your window is even smaller or nil. Nonexistent. So, what do you do?

In my case, I always knew it was going to be hard for me. I have even heard the whole, "if you can get pregnant you may not be able to keep it" line. Now, I know that is true. However, I refuse to let that define me. I will no longer be "the one who can't get pregnant". I already have, after all. Kaine was meant to be, the others weren't. I no longer have the fear of "what if I can't?!". I KNOW I can. One of these days God will send me a baby. One of these days our baby will be here. I am not sure what path that baby may have to travel but, God does. God is in control of our lives and we will be alright.

I am starting detox in two weeks to prepare my body for a starting over phase, if you will. I need to know that I did everything right this time around. I am also going to start progesterone cream and vitex to regulate my hormones (I am estrogen dominate). I am hoping this is going to jump start my system and be able to carry me all the way through a successful pregnancy! :)