Health, fun times

Life has been busy. I haven't been taking the time to post, mostly due to my mood. I just haven't felt like it. I am not sure I even feel like it now, I would just like to do it to keep up with it. My health has taken a surprising turn in the last few weeks. I have been having some trouble on many levels. My wisdom teeth have been bothering me and like always I get a consult and don't do anything about it. I have been put on Sertraline or Zoloft for mood and anxiety. Seems to be working, although I think sleep would be just as helpful. I got a blood test done when I went in for my yearly and went back about a question about spotting and exercise. I got a pelvic ultrasound and an trans vaginal ultrasound to make sure that I was not losing a pregnancy or experiencing a burst cyst. Turns out that neither was happening. Which is a good thing, I just don't know why I am bleeding when I work out. So for now, I will live with it. But more bad news was coming about my blood test. She said that I am severely deficient in vitamin D and B-12 and that I have high cholesterol! High cholesterol! What!? I couldn't believe my ears! But she thought the vitamins were more of a problem and of course I agree. So now I have to give myself shots of B-12 for 6 weeks and then once a month until, well I'm not sure. I also have to take 5000 IU's of vitamin D for 3 months until my levels are high enough, but I may have to take it for the rest of my life. She says that it is a new epidemic in America and the medical community doesn't know why it is happening! Me either! BTW, it has nothing to do with sunlight. I also have to take 3 capsules of fish oil a day in order to lower my cholesterol. I also have to add red yeast rice to help with my vitamin deficiencies. Crazy times. But I did feel a difference after my first Vit. D. I didn't feel anything after my B-12, but they say that has to reach the right levels before it makes a difference. That makes sense! Baby news. We are trying (life or death trying!) to get him to sleep through the night. He barely does this, and I think my health would improve if he did. Because even when he does I wake up thinking that he is crying or that I have some how slept through him waking and then I can't go back to sleep. It's pretty much like your damned if you do and damned if you don't. I hope that he will start to get into a regular habit of sleeping all the way through the night and then I will be able to get back into a regular pattern of sleeping without waking up in the middle of the night going crazy. So, seriously, I could use some divine intervention with this problem. Although I have to say now that we are more settled and I have started to reincorporate the night time cuddle routine it has seemed to help. The first night he only got up one time and last night he went down at 9pm and got up at 7:30 am. This is a vast improvement from 3 or 4 wakings a night and I can already feel a difference. I, honestly, have been putting this off for some time because I know how hard it is to hear him cry and not do anything about it. I do believe in the cry it out method, especially for him. I tried many methods before settling on this one, because others just seemed to make it worse. He would get angrier every time I went back in there and picked him up and left again. This method lets me go in there at allotted times and make sure he is okay and then walk out again. It works, for us anyway. I have a feeling it will not be any easier with the next one. I will probably have to figure out what works for that one too! I know that that sounded like a lot of complaining. But it really wasn't. It is really hopeful. I wouldn't give him up for anything. He is such a wonderful baby. He is learning so much everyday and I can tell that his world happily revolves around me. I love him and he is everything to me! Love you guys. Keep checking in. Let me know how your life is going too!

Valentine's and Happenings

Okay, so Valentine's day was really nice. I had a lot of fun. I made an all chocolate dinner. I didn't think it could be done at first but everything had chocolate in it in one way or the other! It was awesome. I will probably put a picture up of it! Or you can go to my facebook account and see all of the new pictures that I just put up. Okay, what is new.... We are still in search of the right thing to do about a car. Matt doesn't want to spend more than $600 on the car if we fix it and I don't want to spend any more on it! But I see his point. A one time (hopefully, we thought we were done last time) charge is better than making payments, which we just got done doing (on his car anyway, I never had a car payment, thank goodness & my dad). We are searching again for a new oral surgeon, because we believe that it is stupid to have to pay everything up front. We also do not want to go with their payment plan that is through CapitalOne because that bank has a bad reputation for turning around and sticking you with a huge interest rate out of the blue! So no thanks! But on a good note, my teeth are not killing me anymore ( I know this will be short lived). We are trying to get out of debt. With all the hospital bills we have it is going to be tough but I believe we will be able to do it. It's just not going that fast for me. I like things just to go away and not linger. Bills linger. They kill my spirit! LOL We want to get the baby a puppy. I just got an email from mom saying one of her friends just found 6 puppies on the road and they need good homes. We were going to wait until the baby was a year old (like for his birthday or something). The puppies are free and lab/mix. Matt and I really want a Catahoula. Look them up they are REALLY beautiful and are suppose to be the best breed for babies and young children, especially if they grow up together. Here is a link: http://dogtime.com/catahoula-leopard-dog.html Read the part about families and children, they sound like just the type of dog we are looking for. So we may just hold out for this one. We will have to see. I am just not ready for a dog at this moment. I think its like pregnancy, I have to get used to the idea first. Go through the whole gestational period and then get my prize. I am now taking my drugs. I immediately felt a difference and I hope that my body does not get used to it too quickly. I would like to feel normal for a while. I have also noticed that I am being nicer to my husband, he doesn't get on my nerves as much! We have been talking and mending. We weren't ever that far away from each other, we just weren't walking hand in hand as much. It's nice. Things don't look so bleak to me anymore. Okay, well thats all the updates from this end. Hopefully, I will have more good news soon.

I thought this was fun

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name... Share Thu 6:09pm YOUR REAL NAME: Loren Mallard WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (mother and father's middle names): Denise Edward - nice NASCAR NAME (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad): Charles Joe - HAHA STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): MalLo - LOL DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Purple Elephant - HAHA, You know what is really funny about this, I told Matt that if I ever had a restaurant that I would name it that! SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, town where you were born): Hope Rouge (Baton Rouge, I just like the sound of rouge instead of Baton) SUPERHERO NAME (second favorite color, favorite drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Green Margarita! FLY NAME (first 2 letters of first name, last 2 letters of your last name): Lord HAHAHAHAHA ROCK STAR NAME (current pet's name, current street name): No Chiappini Farm ~ Yeah this one doesn't work for me! PORN NAME (first pet, street you grew up on): Duchess SandPoint (I had a few streets to choose from, I just liked this one!) ROFL YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus "izzle"): Lorizzle YOUR IRAQI NAME (second letter of your first name, third letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name): Olhoenard (Yeah this one was to complicated! lol) YOUR GOTH NAME (black, the name of one of your pets): Black Lucy (old pet) STRIPPER NAME (name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy): Be Delicious M&M (okay!)

Life, mine anyway

what has been going on. Well, first off let me say: Happy V-Day! I am planning on making an entire meal that is made up of chocolate, or at least part of the dish! It is going to be so much fun!!! The baby is starting to figure out that he has arm and legs, but to his dismay when he uses them he goes backward and gets REALLY ticked-off. It's kinda funny on my end, and VERY exciting. He is really funny though, at one point he will roll over and over and get where he wants to go and then its like he forgets how to do it (or may refuse to do it!) and acts like he is stuck! Okay on a more personal note. I am having trouble with a lot of things in my life at this point. I went to the Doc yesterday and was put on Zoloft. For those of you who do not know it is for anxiety and depression. So we will see if my mood turns around. For the most part I am okay, I have been having a lot of problems being around other people (even going to the grocery store) without feeling overwhelmed and I can't sleep even though I am tired all the time! So, because I where my heart on my sleeve and would like people to pray for us I tell you this!!! :) I am okay and things are going to get better, don' t worry! I may be looking for a new car. Mine, no surprise, is acting up again! It no longer goes in reverse and is making weird noises and the belts aren't tight or staying that way and to top it off, when you unlock the driver side it doesn't open (even though it is unlocked you can not pull the door open) I have to get in the passenger side and open the door then go around and get in. Totally ghetto! Hopefully we will be able to find something that works for us and that we can afford! We are looking and there are a lot of good deals out there, thank goodness. I'll keep you guys posted!

Car and Baby Trouble

So, life over the last few days has been a little strange. I don't know if anyone else would think it is, but I do. The baby is sick, again! My car is not working, again! I feel like I may have anxiety problems! Okay, first the baby. He was on 10 days worth of antibiotics and after about 24 hours of being off of them he developed congestion and has been throwing up a little bit every now and then. We had already had an appointment to make sure the antibiotics worked on Monday. So when we went in I have been feeling like he may have asthma, so I asked about it. The doctor and I agreed that he should not have gotten sick right after being on antibiotics and that there may be something else going on. We are now trying him out on medication to see if his symptoms improve or if nothing happens. We will know something in 2 weeks, hopefully. The car. I have decided that I hate this car. It was fine for the first year and a half, but after that, it has always been something! Matt and I discovered that the car has been in a wreck when we went to change the lights in the front (the right light is glued in place and Matt said they would only do that if it had been in a wreck! I'm so glad the guy selling the car who said (and I quote) "This is a great car for a college student, very dependable!" was telling the truth! What a butt! At least he is secure in his job! Personally I would fear for my soul being in a job where I had to lie to people and possibly put there lives in danger, but that's just me!). Anyway, I have replaced the air compressor that locked up on me (ever driven in FL without AC during summer, NOT FUN!), I just replaced the engine (that shut down on us on Christmas Eve when we had Jordan and the baby in the car) and now, like 3 weeks after getting the car back, it no longer goes in reverse!!!! Reverse, that's not like it's something easy to fix! And on top of that, it is shifting REALLY hard from first to second. Have you ever seen Pretty Woman? When she gets in the car and Richard Geer doesn't know how to shift and she says, "I think you left your transmission back there!" That is what I feel like happens every time! Oh, and keep in mind that this car is an automatic not manual!!!! I don't know what to do though, do I throw more money that I don't have into this thing or do I use the money for a car that I am going to need soon anyway? (I have a small car and a BIG family, it's not long for this world). Do I fix it and try to sell it? Which may be a good option, because when it was working it was a WONDERFUL car. It is in great asthetic condition (exept for the bumper, paint is peeling). And best of all it is VERY good on gas (right now I can put $12 in it, on empty, and that will fill it up and last for 3-4 days, I live in the boonies and that would usually last a week in the city!). So my question is, do I spend the money with the intention of selling it? Not getting as much money has I have put into it? Or do I fix it then in a few years, when I am more likely to afford a car (hopefully nothing else will go wrong) then do I sell or trade it in (if I can)? I am so lost.

So, today was my official first day working out with my Personal trainer (Matt)! It was worse than I thought it was going to be, not that the workout was that hard, it was just pathetic what I could not do! But I have decided not to let it defeat me. This is just a starting point, and I believe that I am in VERY capable hands. Trust me, I would totally sell him out if I thought he was being to hard or not taking the time with me, I suck like that! I was sad at first that I couldn't really do anything, but I am looking to the future on this one. I am not going to dwell on what I can't do now, but what I will be able to do later! I just have to keep reminding myself that when I am right up against it. Well, that is about all for today. Wish me luck!

Baby Update

He has finally embraced rolling over, by himself! He has had the ability to do this for quite some time now. But he has refused to do it on purpose. He either did it with help, by me putting him on his belly and then rolling to his back, or by accident. He now (because I got tired of him yelling at me to help him and started working with him to let him see that he could do it himself) rolls in both directions left or right, but has not figured out that he can roll more than once in the same direction, yet that is! Hopefully, this means that he is well on his way to learning how to crawl. He did the other day completely lift himself up onto his arms to see what I was doing. However, he has not figured out that he has knees yet, not sure how to make that connection for him, but I am sure it is now just a matter of time. Hopefully soon I will have a good picture to post that everyone can see!

Gym and C-Sections

--> Picture: This is me trying to push because they said that I was 9 1/2 cm and that I could push through to see if I could get to where I needed to be. Keep in mind this is without pain meds and induced contractions. See the swelling in my legs and feet? That is the complication that I mention later in this blog called preeclampsia (can cause seizures and the only cure is delivery). People in this pic R to L: My midwife, me, Matt, my nurse, and Libby the Nazi nurse midwife that they gave me!! SO, ever went to the gym for an assessment and came home completely depressed? Well, I can't say completely depressed, it did give me energy and I slept better than I have in Months (or even since I have gotten pregnant about a year and a half ago!). So that is pretty good. I found out how much I weight though and I cried, yes actually cried. I had a sneaking suspicion that it was more that what I could live with but I had no idea how bad it actually was. No, I am not going to tell you what it is. I'll just say that if I plan to get pregnant again than I will have to lose close to 50 lbs in order to do it. (I was overweight the first time by 3oish lbs and had a good pregnancy but ended up with a C-section due to complications). I plan to be in the best health for my height and build up my abs so that I do not have weak abs when I go into labor (this could cause me to have another C-section because of the risk of tearing - OUCH!). And if I have another C-section then I may not have another baby because in the state of FL if you have two then all consecutive deliveries will be scheduled C-sections. And let me tell you, C-sections are NOT what I would EVER choose, I honestly do not know why anyone would EVER choose to have one! You know how you hear about all of those women opting to get a C-section instead of going into labor to miss the pain of labor. Well, let me tell you something! You still get the pain and WAY more! What they don't tell you is even when you get a C-section you are still sent into labor by pitocin and are not given meds until you are at least 4 centimeter dialated and then you get your epidural and you still have to wait to get to 10 cm before you get your C-section. And let me tell you, that pitocin induced birth is MORE painful than natural birth anyway! Your body naturally has an ebb and flow when you go into labor but with pitocin (artificiall) your body is sent into the most painful part of the contractions then it last for up to a minute and a half (sometimes longer!) and then you are released from this death grip just to be attacked again in a matter of seconds! Its rediculous! Anyway, now that I went off on that tangent! The point of this is to tell you that I DO NOT IN ANYWAY EVER WANT ANOTHER C-SECTION IN MY LIFE! And would like to at least have one experience of a natural, nonmedicated birth and, I have to say, if I am able, possibly a home birth. I must say that I do not take kindly to people judging me on this issue. I welcome your comments and questions but I will NOT tolerate people berating me about my opinion about this! I am in support of what ever someone chooses for themselves and their own baby (or babies) when they are pregnant. I believe it is COMPLETELY the womans choice to have a birth the way that SHE feels is right for her! I do not believe everyone can or is willing to give birth without pain meds, but I do believe that it is my God given right to be able to do it if I SO CHOOSE! People should support it and get out of her way! Of course, if there is a medical reason that she cannot have the birth of her dreams than she should absolutely get medical intervention (for her and the babies health and wellbeing). As I had to. Okay, this blog was suppose to be about the horrors of realizing how far I have let myself go but, instead, it has turned into a fight for the right to give birth how you choose. That's life, don't you love it!?

Oral surgery & baby food!

Today was an adventure. We all went to the Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery office for a consult for my wisdom teeth. They all have to come out, big surprise! He did say that I was blessed with good teeth though, even if there is some crowding in the front! But I have always been okay with that. But all of the girls in the office fell in love with Kaine (again, not surprising!). He even got a gift, a small brown puppy that he just loves! So, now we are going to try to figure out what to do about surgery and when we can afford it. Unfortunately, the Dr. requires all his fees up front and then he does reimbursement through insurance. So, like I said, we shall see WHEN it can happen. Because it must, my teeth are annoying me and one of them is infected and painful. Matt was grumpy this morning because he has to go to work at Winn-Dixie today. He HATES that job and cannot wait until he no longer has to go! Very, very soon, I keep saying. Hopefully, before we even realize he will be out of there! He seems to be better now though. We are both watching Fringe, one of our new favorite shows. Baby update. Last night he slept all night! I was very surprised and thrilled by this. It always surprises me when he does it though! So I am going to try an experiment tonight. I followed everything that I did starting with dinner and on to bedtime. Yesterday, I gave him 3 egg yolks, potato hash and a taste of bacon for dinner (breakfast for dinner, one of Matt and I's faves!). He ate ALL of that! He also had 2 oz of juice and a bottle right before he was laid down, about 1 1/2 to 2 hours after dinner. So, tonight I gave him 2 egg yolks, 1 1/2 baby jars full of homemade oatmeal mixed with water, applesauce and a touch of brown sugar to sweeten the deal. Also, 1 oz of juice, he didn't want the other ounce. I had to get Matt from work so we did some dishes and he got a bath and his bed clothes on and we got in the car and got Matt. We got home around 9:30pm and he had 4 oz and he is now (9:45pm) sound asleep. So we will see if the protein and carb load works again tonight and if so we will continue it!! Here's to crossing our fingers! BTW, if anyone can let me know what happened in the first part of tonight's Fringe that would be great! I walked into half way!

Welcome to my life!

I am a first time mom to a beautiful baby boy. I want to write this blog so friends and family can keep up with us. I wish we were closer to everybody. But this may be the best way to feel close without being close. I love being a mom. It has changed my life and I will always be grateful for that. I have to be honest, I didn't always want to be a mom. I was not sure that I would be good at it. I have no patience and even though kids seem to love me, I was unsure that I could spend my days with them. Everyone around me always saw what I am able to see now. God has blessed me with patience and love that knows no end. I would not give up being a mom for anything. My son is now 8 1/2 months old. And we were told that he was a girl. So when he first arrived all we had for him was pink EVERYTHING! I was so pleased at the birth because I did not really want to know what we were having. I loved that we, kinda, both got what we wanted! I got my surprise and he, seemingly, got to know what we were having! I think next time I am not going to find out, I LOVED the surprise! It was probably the best part of the whole labor and delivery for me. Especially since I wanted to have a natural birth and ended up with a C-section after 2 days of labor (first 24 hours was false labor brought on by drinking castor oil - SO GROSS. I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! The second half was induced and I went through it with no pain meds, only to find out that he was in a bad position and I had to have a C-section.) I am planning on having a natural birth again (whenever that may be). I hope my family will still stand beside me on this one, many wanted to run away! :) What to expect: Starting a new workout / Diet plan Baby Milestones Hot Topic Issues Family Love Life Hope you will stay with me, I am learning and I know it will just get better from here!