I have DIVINE news!

Have you guessed what it might be? Well...have you?? hehe.

Yesterday was Matt's birthday. I wanted to wait and test (you know what I mean!) until this day. I really felt lead to wait. So, I waited. But, instead of testing, I went into the bathroom (the most private place in the whole house!) and took a Bible with me. I have, I don't know if I have ever mentioned this before, a connection with God through asking questions and being able to open right up to the passage/verse that I need. (If that didn't make any sense, it hopefully will soon.) So, I went into the bathroom and asked God for a sign. I opened the Bible, and lo and behold (!) the very first verse I read said this (unfortunately, I didn't write down the reference!):

"Let this be a sign unto you" 

How awesome, incredible and totally divine is that!!?? I knew God wouldn't let me down! Also, Matt got the birthday wish that he wanted granted. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said, jokingly, "Make me a baby!" lol. Well, God knows (and perhaps has a greater sense of humor than I already thought) the desires of our hearts. He is faithful and deserves ALL the glory! 

We also got our speculum in, that I mentioned that I ordered in one of my lasts posts. Matt and I checked last night, out of pure curiosity (not lack of faith in God's Word) to see what Chadwick's sign looks like. We got a definite positive Chadwick sign. It looked just like all of the pictures I have ever seen of it. Plus, it was cool, which, I suspect, was the whole reason we wanted to look in the first place. (Did I mention that such things DO NOT gross out my husband? Well, they don't. Which, I am so grateful to say, is one of the things that makes us work so well!)

So, according to my calculations we are 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant! I am currently having:

• Mood swings
• Restless leg syndrom
• Hunger
• Engulfing sleepiness (except at night)
• Insomnia
• Stomach/Intestinal issues
• Nausea 
• Sore/Tender Breasts
• Plate-like areolas
• Lower back/body aches
• Missed period
• Sensitivity to smells
• And all that was mentioned before
• High, softer, closed cervix
• Clear fluid discharge

We are "due" April 21, 2012. Although the average pregnancy lasts 265 days from conception which really puts us closer to April 11-12, 2012. But, we are going to tell everyone mid May and keep the date to ourselves. I don't want people pestering me. (Aren't you guys lucky!?)
Also, speaking of people pestering me; we aren't planning on telling anyone about our pregnancy until about five months or so. I am a bit larger, body wise, so I don't think this should be a problem. And, of course, just in case something happens (which I have a peace about, regarding that this one is good and viable!) we don't want people getting their hopes up or making a bigger deal (or not such a big deal-which is worse) out of our loss. People were really bad about pestering me last time. I was REALLY stressed out and I didn't enjoy any of that short-lived pregnancy. So, in keeping with harmony and peace, no one will know until Christmas or around/past the New Year.

*Oh also, Kaine starts school next Wednesday. Meet the teacher is on Friday. And! It has taken me triple the time to type this because Kaine pulled off the "I" button on our laptop and we can't find it anywhere. It is really annoying! More on all of this later. *Blessings!

Maybe. Maybe not?

     Okay, I don't want to sound like I am crying wolf or anything but, something is going on, ahem, down there. I'm not really sure what, to tell you the truth. All I know is, I have been sans period since July 26th. Which is awesome for me! I should have had a period some time this week (from last Wednesday to today). Nothing has showed up. I had some cramping earlier in my cycle (which was weird) but, nothing else. I didn't go through the "dry spell" after ovulation (this I am supposing happened around the 30th or so (I got a slight positive on the OPK that Tuesday-so I tested after it had passed). So, if we are pregnant that would be awesome!
     I did read on an OB textbook site that the best time to test is around 40 days past ovulation (dpo). So, because I haven't gotten either a positive prego test or a period, I am going to wait and see which happens first. I have to say, I am definitely taking it better this time around. I haven't gotten my hopes up. I have, very much, taken a "well, there are a lot of things that can be affecting this" attitude. I am really just waiting and seeing if things get stronger. I haven't had and "definite" signs, just supposed ones. Also, I just ordered a speculum so I can get a better feel for my cervical changes. (I am a visual learner, mostly. Having a more "hands on" and "eyes on" approach, if you will excuse the phrase, will help me.)  Day 40 will be September 7th. But, as before, I am also going to wait and see if I miss two periods. That is a dead ringer clue for me. I NEVER EVER miss two in a row. The last time I did, Kaine was on board. So, here is to hoping for a positive test. If not, there is always next month, or the months after that, lol.

My symptoms (most of which also happen before AF arrives)*:
Sore-ish boobs
Big plate-like areolas (slightly brown)
High cervix (with twinges)
No dry spell (CM is clear/white and watery/creamy)
Starting to notice a slight increase in smells
Thirsty
Want Ice
Hungry (for carbs but, that might be the diet change talking)
No breast enlargment
Bluish vagina (TMI, sorry)
Sleepy in the afternoon (more so than normal-more like, have to take a nap)
Missed/Late period
Moody
Irritable (at the slightest thing)

*So as you can see, it really isn't much different from PMS, although my period was missed/late. Time will only tell. Eventually the little being has to come out! :)

Computer Crashed

Well, sort of. We got a Trojan virus. All of our stuff was completely wiped out. That taught me to back things up! The saddest part is that ALL of my video's are gone. The pictures I had put on FaceBook and I can recover, at least. It really does suck though. Matt also said that we may still be able to recover somethings. I hope, for his sake (all the documents got wiped too) that we can. So, all-in-all, I guess it could have been worse. I was freaking out when I thought all the pictures were gone. I probably wouldn't have recovered from that.
But, lesson learned, I guess.

What's it all about?

Weird dreams (which is weird for me anyway, I don't have dreams!)...insomnia...very thirsty...pressure in my lower abdomen...increased libido (for a while anyway)...very hungry...funny cramps...weird tingles in my chest area...large, brown areolas (TMI, sorry)...
What is going on? I am hoping it is something wonderful...we will have to wait and see. Also, it may just be my body reacting to the "reset" that I did with the progesterone cream. So, who knows? The best news is...I have gone FOUR WHOLE WEEKS without a period or a feeling of one! WOO-HOO!! I feel like celebrating!! I have to say, it has been quite nice. I forgot what it felt like to have a "normal" cycle or, for that much, two normal weeks. To say the least, it has been nice. It's good news! Hopefully, very soon we will have even better news. But, if not, the weight loss and diet changes will continue until I am satisfied with myself (or become...well, you know what!).    :)

Shopping Bug

...it has bit me. As it often does around this time of year. I guess it is from going back to school shopping every year around this time. I don't know. I know Fall fashion really does call to me. Honestly, if I could shop and wear Fall ALL year, I totally would! The colors, style and, well...everything! just speaks to me! Plus, it doesn't hurt that I just rearranged my closet and found it SERIOUSLY lacking. But, alas, not making money makes me not want to spend money. Do you know what I mean? I just feel like it is selfish, or something. IDK.
I know I don't look like it but, shopping used to be a HUGE part of my life. So much so that I would go into shops and be bored because, after all, I was JUST there and there would be NOTHING new on the shelves. How totally spoiled is that? Now, I wouldn't even be able to tell you what was in. Seriously! It makes me blue. But, it is all material after all, right? (That wasn't a play-on-words, btw.)
I know there are more important things to be doing and spending money on. I have been trying to focus on this more and more. I try to let this be enough. But, now that I am taking care of myself (I have lost 20lbs!). I want to show it off!! LOL I want to feel sexy and I want to LOVE the way I look, like I used to. In fact, I would love to be pregnant again just so I could have new clothes to wear (the maternity clothes I have are pretty fabulous, thanks to the cumulative styles of my sisters and myself). But, that will come in time.
I think what would solve my issue is to get a really fabulous pattern (think simple dress) and make a few of them in different colors. Then when they are all done, I could embellish them in different ways. Maybe add bits of lace to one. Buttons placed in cute patterns or placed in working fashion somewhere in the design could also work. I could also embroider some pretty awesome things on them. Or make cute machine embroidery patterns throughout. As you can see, the possibilities are endless. AND, it would all be unique and time consuming, lol. Which is always a good thing. (<--Wow, look Martha just showed up!)

In appreciation of my husband!

     Matt won Trainer of the Year, last Friday. I knew all about it and made him a Tres Leche cake and invited his parents out for dinner (but, they wouldn't let us pay-I felt a bit like a loser :( but, they insisted!). It was really fun. I am a big stickler for doing things big. I don't think any accomplishment should go without reward (big or small- the accomplishment, not the award!). So, to make my man feel special I baked and we went out to dinner. I am so proud of him, although, I suspect, I don't brag about him or tell him enough. All men need to know that they are loved, appreciated and well, needed! I love my husband!
     We are made for each other too. We complement each other quite well. We are, however, opposites in a lot of things too. Which, of course, makes us stronger so we can support each other. For example, he is strong in almost every aspect of his life. He knows what he wants and goes and gets/does it. Once he makes a decision, his mind is made up. He is very frugal (which is a good thing when I am not!). He likes what he likes. He is very open to people and they LOVE him for it (as in, people immediately become his friends and stick around). He has an incredible work ethic. He will do things because they need to be done, not just because he likes it. He is a wonderful father (this, of course, is not an opposite thing). Anyway, you can see that he is wonderful.
     He is strong when I am weak. I can depend on him like no one else I have ever met. I can talk to him and he sets my wishy-washiness on a clear and defined path. He supports my (our) decision to stay-at-home and raise our child (children *fingers crossed*). He loves me and, truly, that is enough!

(:    Congratulations, Hun! We love you and are VERY proud of you!    :)

What we have been doing:

I've been busy lately. On a LOT of different levels. School is in the works (as in, I am going back, REALLY, I am!). Kaine is starting school again in September (3 days a week this time). We are going to stop watching other kids (because I do now, we just can't work out the watch kids and go to school schedule). Matt is working his butt off but, not as much as he was (thank goodness). We just got back from Kentucky to visit Matt's family and it was really pleasant (except not really the 10 hour drive - both ways!). I have been on detox and have seen significant improvement in weight loss and my bleeding has completely stopped (!!!). We are trying to conceive (again!- I am finally ready to try again). Matt's birthday is also coming up at the end of August (not to mention that Lilly just turned 5 and Mom just had a birthday too- Lots of birthday's in this family!).
In fact, the birthday thing is crazy! Look at this:

January- no one
February- Grace
March- Jared
April- Mickey
May- Brent, Kaine,  Big Elliott (Poppa) and Kristen
June- Lilly, Allana, George, Savannah and George Sr.
(Mom and George's Anniversary too)
July- Mom
August- Matt
September- Landon
October- Jordan, Douglas
November- Haley, Me, Grandma and Dad
December- Melissa, Patty, Kaylen
*and I can't remember when Little Elliot's birthday is but, I think it is in the spring. Also, I am sure I am leaving some people out too. Anyway, summer is crazy birthday months!

Anyway, Kaine is fully potty trained now too. It took forever! He was pretty good about going pee but, didn't always want to. He seemed to just want to do it off and on. Then he was going all the time (like every 10-15 minutes). We had to still keep pull-ups on him though, because he refused to poop in the potty. It was crazy and frustrating! We pretty much made him sit on the potty until he went because he knew when he had to go but, he would run away and hide so he wouldn't have to sit. (He also had a HUGE rejection of public toilets- I think it was a noise thing- they flush really loud and he HATED to be in there when the potties were making noise.) One day, he just decided he was going to start and use the potty and we haven't looked back since. He was, for a bit, wearing things for bed but, he seemed to be holding it pretty well and we decided to just go cold turkey. So, we took them off, let him go to the potty before bed and waited to see what happened. He had a few accidents but, nothing terrible. Once he got through nap time completely dry we knew he was going to be fine at bedtime too. Then, like I said, there was no looking back. He is very good now and can completely use the potty by himself (we do need to work on him pulling his pants up, however!). So, yay for big boys! (But I seriously don't want to think about the next one!)