6 Weeks

So far, so good. That is my motto, for the moment at least. I don't really know if my symptoms are any different or the same as last time, seeing as how I had no idea that I was even pregnant. Although, I really did want to be. Anyway, my symptoms seems to be much more heightened, especially when it comes to nausea. I had some headaches a few weeks ago but, honestly, that could have just been from the pollen count. So, now I am torn. I really think it sucks that I feel sick off and on. But, at the same time, I feel happy because my body is doing what it is suppose to be doing. I also have breast tenderness. Not nearly as bad as last time, when I thought I had a severe illness because I had major lymph pain under my arms and absolutely nothing could even breath on my breasts. It was horrible! This time around, I have swelling and pain but I can stand it. Maybe it is just because I know what is going on. Maybe it is just because I don't really need to go through that many changes this time around. I don't know, I just hope it doesn't get much worse.

Either way, I am glad that I am finally pregnant. I am ready to start showing and let everyone know about it! Speaking of letting everyone know, I think I have figured out a cute way to let them know. We are going to Disney the last weekend of April. This also happens to be Matt and I's 10 year anniversary (dating one but, to us, it counts!). We are going to go to dinner on our anniversary with everyone. I thought I would dress Kaine in a shirt that says, "Big Brother". Then we are going to wait and see if people notice what it says and then excitement will ensue. That is the plan anyway. And, if no one notices, then I will just point it out!

Four and a Half Weeks

Oh, yes! You read that right! Four and a half weeks along. That is where we are at now. We found out last night that I am indeed pregnant. No, not by some unreliable pee stick either. According to all of the "conventional" ways of normal-ville, I have to go about finding out in different forms. And, yes, I could just wait until I am showing and the quickening comes on but, I ask you, is that fair?? Ummm...no! This is one of the things that I am actually quite pissed that I am slighted in! I should not have to wait past a missed period (in Kaine's case TWO missed periods) to be able to actually believe that I am pregnant. Well, so how do we know, you are asking??  Chadwick's sign, that's how (mine is more of a purplish color, which is normal). Although this does not tell you how long you have been pregnant, it is a major sign that you are indeed pregnant. Because of the last months and how my body responds to the onset of menses, I was not letting myself believe that I am pregnant. I do have breast growth and darkening of the areolas too (but, as we have seen, I get this with PMS too). Chadwick's sign is no doubt how I will be finding out how I am pregnant from here on out. I refuse to wait until my 2nd trimester to confirm! I know, not fair that I don't have dead giveaway signs for pregnancy, right (vomiting)? Thank God too! I would have stopped at Kaine and that would have been absolutely it! UCK!

Oh, of course I was already expecting pregnancy. I don't know if I posted about this last time or not but, I had implantation bleeding on February 25th. This was about a week after my last period (which is normal for me, I ovulate right after my period, as far as I can tell). In fact, I ovulated so close to this period that I didn't even get a positive ovulation test last month because I tested the weekend after we had already achieved baby glory! It is funny how things work. In fact, I had sex that time because I felt like it and actually said to myself, "Let's just do this one for fun and worry about the baby stuff some other time!" Always, when you least expect, right?

So, yes, we are pregnant and very excited about the whole thing. BTW, if you see any of my family members, don't spoil the surprise!! We are going to Disney next month and I would like to tell them at dinner one night. Not to even mention, that I would like to be farther along, just in case, you know. Oh, we are due around December-ish.

Possibly Crying Wolf.

Everyone knows, who reads my blog and that I trust, that I am trying to get pregnant. I think I finally achieved this! Of course, my body is strange and is so far from normal, I will have to go to extremes to conventionally confirm this hypothesis. However, this is what I think.

My period week was February 12-17, 2011. On February 25th, I had spotting and some cramping. I was thinking I was starting to bleed again. It was a pretty noticeable amount but, not alarming at all. I have been waiting and charting to see what was going to happen. I have had a high cervix (with no movement, like last month when it kept yo-yo-ing between high and medium and resulting in a period) since the spotting. A few days after it happened and I had no other symptoms I assumed it could have been implantation bleeding. I was due to have another period (you know, in normal land) again around the 12th of March. Nothing has happened and I have been anxiously checking my cervix for clues of dropping to allow for menses. Nothing happened. I have also been taking pregnancy tests (and was REALLY put into a bad mood when the 12th resulted in a negative test!) but, as we all know, I have NO NO NO faith in pee tests.

So, I have started to allow myself to believe that this actually could be it. I have not believed it and when the thought has crept into my wee brain, I have pushed it violently out again. I DID NOT want to believe something that could end again. I wanted to wait for time to revel more to me. I have waited for a time that most would have confirmation granted to them -the onset of menses. I am going to try and wait another week and test, yet again, with another home pregnancy test. If I do not get medical confirmation, I will believe it until my body shows other signs. I am going to try and be even more patient and wait until two periods have passed (I have never missed two in a row, that I can count on. The first time this DID happen was when I was given many false negatives only to discover that I was indeed pregnant. My confirmation will surely show after this harsh wait). After this time I will go and get a blood test to confirm because the state of Florida requires medical confirmation of pregnancy for a birth certificate (something that is increasing in value these days).

That is the story thus far. I still wait, with much higher hopes than I was allowing myself within the torturous weeks that have passed. Hopefully, no more torture will come. Hopefully, good news will rain gently down upon our heads and soon!

Waiting...

Waiting sucks! I mean it, really, really, really, really....REALLY sucks! The worst part is, I am in the middle of my waiting period and won't know anything for at least two more weeks. That is IF my body decides to be normal.

In the mean time....Matt ran a 5K this weekend at Disney. It was the ESPN "The Weekend" run for something. I don't know what he placed. I don't know what time he got there. I don't know what time he got done. So, pretty much I am useless in the telling of the information of this event, if you wanna know! He said it was "alright". All I know is, he wore a kilt and some shoes that were killing his feet. He also did it for his client because, you know, he is good as a supporter! So, yay! for that.

Kaine is getting gigantic. They actually told me today, at school, that the pants I put on him were to tight (which there were NOT, thank you very much). They sent him home in size 6 (I had him in 4's). The reason? He apparently can't pull them up after he goes to the potty. Okay?? Have you seen that kids butt? I get that they have 8 other children in that class but, seriously? you can't help a kid out?? It just annoys me is all. They told me to go and get him bigger ones. Yeah! That ain't happening! LOL I just won't let him wear the offensive ones anymore. AND on top of that, as I put those pants on him this morning the thought ran across my brain, "Well, at least I managed to put on some pants that you will be able to put on and off". Which I NEVER do! Most of the pants/shorts he wears has buttons and zippers! I don't ever hear complaints about that. Weird, right?

More on waiting. I have decided that if I do not get a positive test result this go round, I am going to seriously start the getting in shape and losing 60+ pounds thing. (I don't really know if it is 60+, I'm just saying, it is a lot!) So, that is where my focus will lie for a while. I really and actually WANT to do it this time. NOT like me. I am going to start lifting weights because everything else bores me to tears. If I am pregnant the workout routine will be this:

• Walk at least 30 minutes a day (you know, on purpose)
• Yoga for pregnancy video
• Weight lifting (stuff I can do, like arms)
• Swimming

So, there will be plenty to keep me busy. I am really just tired of all of the nasty photos I have seen lately and I am done! with that phase, thank you VERY much!!!