Kaine's Future Room

I have been working on the Huckleberry Finn themed boy's room. Since we cant actually put it into action until we have our own place, I have been doing a ton of research. This has turned out to be a really good idea. Especially since I would have already done a ton of things in my excitement to get things going and it would not have turned out so well (or as well as it could be!). Anyway, this is what I am planning:

I want to make tree that looks like an oak with moss and everything. I finally found a website that would help me to do this! Go to this link to see what I am talking about: Oak Tree Project

I have also been struggling with a way to incorporate the bed in a creative way. At first I was thinking about making a raft that the bed could sit on. The more I thought about it, the more room I figured the bed would take up and I don't necessarily want it to be a major focus in the room. But I did want to incorporate some sort of white washed fence (seeing as how that is a well remembered part of the book). So, I thought I would make a headboard from picket fence! Go here to check out that link: Picket Fence Headboard also this one of a picture of the project: Picture

I also already have some cute elements for the room too. I bought two pictures that are in rustic frames from the original illustrator of the book (I am pretty sure they are copies because I seriously didn't pay that much for them. They are so cute!). I also bought an old Avon perfume bottle that looks like a little country boy with a stick fishing pole and a straw hat (complete with overalls and bare feet!). I love it! I had already had curtains that I got for a steal when we found out Kaine was a boy and we needed new decorations for his room (haha!). They are a thinnish jean and have loops (the part where they would hang from the curtain rod) that are fastened to the curtain with overall clasps. They truly are so cute (the ties are also overall straps). The only thing about them is that it looks like new jeans and I might think about fading them and maybe even putting in some patches and worn parts to make it look really "worn" in and used. That would be cute, as long as I don't destroy them!

I am sure, as time goes by, more elements will be added too. As things seem to usually happen that way. I will be able to find little nick-knacks or cute pictures or something to enhance the theme. Now all I need is a room to put it all in!!

Halloween Costumes

I already made Kaine's costume, a few months ago, actually. He wore it to school and to the fall festival they had that evening. It was fun, a bit hectic, I had to go by myself (Matt was still working). I also volunteered to help in a booth but Kaine kept running away, so, you can imagine how that went. It was still fun, Kaine was over tired and really didn't want to be there at first. Then, he found the car table and didn't want to leave! The little girl trying to clean up was very relieved when I came to retrieve him! Haha!

Anyway, he now wants to be a construction worker for Halloween. (The other was a poncho style monkey costume that I made purposely to double as a "dress-up" item later on.) So, Matt and I have combed the aisles of every Halloween section of any store that dared to put one up. There are about a MILLION AND A HALF "woody and Jessie" costume's but ABSOLUTELY NO construction worker or "Bob the Builder" type costumes! What is up with that?! So, we went to Lowe's. I was really already pretty set on the whole "construction worker look" because of the birthday party. But I really wanted a safety vest to complete the look. Which, to my surprise, I could not find any fabric at Jo-Ann's to make one. We bought one that I would be able to scale down to fit him.

So, besides house hunting, going to a work party with Matt and helping my mom with a catering job this week, this is what I will be doing! Life has begun...

Pregnancy Fear

So, a thought has been floating in my brain for a few days (a week, maybe?). It is this, "What if this time, I can't get pregnant as easily as the last? What if all of the 'it is going to be hard, if not near impossible, for you' crap I was fed is really going to happen this time around?" I know it is irrational. For last time, a month out from exploratory surgery (that turned up no hostile or baby unfriendly uterus) was I surprisingly and willingly with child. So, what are my fears based on this time? In a word: adhesion's. Scar tissue built up. Fibroids even. (Okay, that was way more than one word, but whatever!) None of this is confirmed. All of it once or even subtly suggested by books on the aftermath of cesarean's. All of it fear in my own mind stemming from a life brought up to believe that something ALWAYS is wrong with you; that doctors are never wrong and are people who speak and know the truth (and, of course, not to be questioned!).

The hard part, really, for me, is that these fears seem  to be more deeply rooted than I had imagined or even ever thought they were. It sucks. It is an uncertainty (which I have never been good at handling) that I do not wish to carry around. I know it is unfounded. Even stupid.

I am trying to refocus my thoughts on the more positive side of things. Think things like, "You are going to be pregnant", "You know your fertile days", "Baby making is fun and a relationship strengthener", "You have plenty of time" (which may be a tad on the down side). I need more positive thoughts.

On another note, I have told Matt of my plans to have sex for 2 weeks straight. To which he replied, "I am going to hold you to that." I thought that was funny (especially since I probably won't need any encouragement and would LOVE to achieve baby glory this month!).

Contemplating birth

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Chief Seattle

Beautiful words were never more truly spoken:

You must teach your children that the ground beneath their feet is ashes of our grandfathers. So that they will respect the land, tell your children that the earth is rich with the lives of our kin. Teach your children what we have taught our children - that the earth is our mother. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves.

This we know. The earth does not belong to man: man belongs to the earth. This we know. All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected.

Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

"Unassisted Homebirth: An Act of Love"

By: Lynn M. Griesemer

I just got in this book. So far (I am only in chapter one with the intro and preface behind me) I love it! Here is an awesome quote from the book:

How we birth is a reflection of our faith and confidence and how we approach birth is how we approach life.

Also, this quote which I would say to anyone who doesn't believe men should be allowed (or at least active) at birth. Something that I think is a major stereotype and should only depend on the man in question:

A father is profoundly influenced by childbirth. Birth is especially meaningful when he accepts responsibility for an event which has been in everyone's domain but his for over a century. There is no greater joy for a father to be the first to see, touch and hold his own child. He will instantly know that no doctor, midwife or other person should be the one to accept this new miracle in their hands. 

That is definitely something I have felt from the beginning of my last pregnancy. I never thought it was fair (to the man) that the guy "gets to have the fun, the woman gets the work" side of birth. I believe it is as much his experience as it is the woman's. It is his child, after all. Yes, the woman does the work, some would argue that she is the only one that counts. In my opinion, if you are having these thoughts, that is exactly the birth you will get. If you consciously or subconsciously make it a womanly experience, there will be no room for your husband to share the experience. 

Now that all of that is said, I also believe that some men can't handle birth and that they should not be involved. But to just say that "men shouldn't be at birth" (many midwives and friends have said this to me) is a generalization and an unfair statement. I say give them some power and let them experience this one in a lifetime birth (because everyone only gets one)! After all, husbands are suppose to be our biggest supporters, lovers, best friends, fathers to our children, advocates, leaders and sounding board. Why would you deny them a profound and potentially life and relationship altering experience? (Meaning that it will ultimately bring the two of you and your family closer together.) 

Physical Preparation for Birth: Part 3

One of the reasons we have decided to go ahead with getting pregnant is because physically I have made huge progress. I can do a complete squat (although I lean forward, more on that in a second). My posture is getting better (my shoulders are starting to set back more). I have active muscle reaction (twitching) in my shoulders, this, if I am getting it right, is a sign of repair in the form of shortening a muscle that has been stretched out of place. I am sore, however. I do feel like I have trouble breathing, at some points too. I think all of this is to be expected. After all, I am resetting the skeletal and muscular foundation of my upper body.

I have also figured out why I suck at going to the gym and working out. I get to overwhelmed with all of the different exercises. I am pretty much a "do and conquer one thing at a time" type girl. (This is pretty much true in all aspects of my life.) So, I have been taking it slow. I mastered the squat, my biggest challenge. I feel empowered to move onto my posture! I feel like now that I have achieved something big, I can do anything.

There is still more work to do. I lean forward in my squat because my hip flexors are tight. This causes my pelvis to tilt forward (if you ask me, this is one of the reasons Kaine was in a bad position at birth, something that certainly needs to be remedied if natural birth is EVER to happen for me). I also need to focus more on transverse abdominal exercises (helps support your core, back and actually holds your stomach in - not to make you look skinny but to make you have better posture and body control). This is also a good exercise for pregnancy because these muscles help support the uterus and a full term baby comfortably. Therefore, I may not have the back pain or tilting that I had previously.

God and Birth: Part 2

One of my biggest revelations, if you will, lately has been to "Let Go and Let God". I feel like faith is a really hard concept for me. Let me explain what I mean by faith. Faith = the belief that God will grant you the desires of your heart if you put your fears, apprehensions, worries, joys, love and guidance in His hands. I was having a real time with the whole contradiction of believing that God has a plan and trying to control things for myself. (This does not mean to sit around and wait for God to do something. I feel like God gives US the ability to do things when His time is right.)

How does this tie into our birth plans? God has a path set out for us, it is all predetermined. I believe that, I also believe most Christians believe that. (Not to mention others who are not Christians use this type of thinking also. I believe Tarot is just another way of getting a clearer message of what is to come.) I believe we make decisions according to the plan. Meaning we have free will and are able to make decisions that determine our path (sounds contradictory but wait). God knows this and encourages it. However, God is all-knowing and knows what path we are going to choose already. Therefore, it is predetermined and, basically, is meant to be. So, in accordance with birth, what is meant to happen is going to happen, no matter where you are. Yes, I am talking mostly about death here. If I or the baby is to die, it is going to be so, no matter where I am. I get the arguments about "If you were in the hospital at least you would have covered everything and you would know for sure that you were meant to die". However, I do not think that is an absolute truth either. Do you really think if God wanted you to go that any amount of human effort, no matter what the intention, is going to stop Him from taking you? I don't think so.

Therefore, I am using this experience as a faith builder. I believe that God will give me the desires of my heart by putting my faith in Him to do so. I desire an unhindered home birth with just my family in attendance. I believe God will grant me with the right path. I believe He has made our bodies to know what they should do. I believe that by letting go of putting my faith in other people and relying on God's guidance (through intuition, ability, strength, wisdom and faith) that God will grant me with the birth that will be an all inspiring and healing experience for Matt and I.

I am also willing to accept the death of a baby (or me) if that be God's plan. I do believe that things happen for a reason and that they are learning experiences for those left behind and affected. Death makes people stronger and better people (I know this because I have come out a better person because of a serious loss at an early age). I am putting my faith in God and letting Him lead me into the path that he wants me to go. I want to be the person that I am meant to be. I feel like I am following His path.

Unassisted Childbirth: My Beliefs : Part 1

Let me first start by saying we are officially trying to conceive! We are no longer waiting. Hopefully we will be able to announce something soon!

We have been talking about this for some time. I wanted to document our decision. That is what this post is about. We really do believe that midwives and even *some* OB's have their place. We just couldn't find any around here that meshed with our beliefs about birth.

Here is what I believe (since I can only speak for myself). I believe women have an inner voice that guides them. If you don't ignore it, you will be able to intercept messages that will lead you in the right way. You have to be open and ready to listen and do what it says. This is the basis of my decision to go unassisted while in "child-bed". (Of course, it was precipitated by the unnecessary c-section that I got (because people lost patience). Even though, I do believe that Kaine was in a bad position, due to unnecessary interventions prior to labor - stripping of membranes, castor oil, pitocin and on and on). Childbirth just happens. You have to give it time (something I wasn't given). I believe that if you are in your own space you will be more comfortable and able to give birth more effectively. I also believe that, for some, problems do arise and do exist. However, I do believe that being in a hospital or with a caregiver you are giving up your rights to refuse care (because you already have accepted) and fall into the "fear mongering" path. Anyway, being in your own space and in your own mind and body, in my opinion, puts you in a place to intercept problems before they become serious. You can then make informed decisions and actually choose, without pressure, what you would do. 

I also happen to believe that women, who prepare themselves, can give birth without fear and without pain. Don't get me wrong, birth has pain, but it doesn't have to be all-consuming. You can master it and you can overcome the "discomfort". Preparation is the foundation for greatness. Birth can be something that is like a "rite-of-passage" (which I truly believe it is), if you are willing to let it happen.


*I believe some OB are just there to collect a paycheck and get the "wow, you deliver babies" big heads. Others, though it seems few and far between, believe in a woman's ability to birth. And even still others are there because, unfortunately, there is a need for surgical births (for a select few).

Baby Supplies

Okay, Matt and I just talked about baby supplies and funds. I want to go ahead and get them while we have the money. I know, we are WAY ahead of the game! Here is what we have on the list so far:

Mabis Fetoscope
Mabis Self-Taking Blood Pressure Cuff
Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year
Emergency Childbirth: A Manual
Puppy pads (chux)
Cord Clamps (2)
Umbilical Scissors
Bulb syringe
Mattress pad
Lube
Hot Water Bottle
Foot printer with Certificate
Unassisted Childbirth
Unassisted Homebirth: An Act of Love
The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
Ina's May's Guide to Breastfeeding
The Power of Pleasurable Childbirth
Active Birth
Birthing from Within
Childbirth without Fear
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

A ton of books, mostly. I think most of the other stuff I will get as I go. What else do you think I should have? The only thing annoying me is that I feel like I am leaving off something HUGE from this list. But, it isn't like I don't have more than enough time to remember what it is and find it! Let me know if you have any suggestions! I am open to anything you think will help.

Things Kaine says:

Taken dressed. (To get dressed)
That in perfect.
That in awful.(Pretty much anything where you would say "is" is usually an "in")
Lube you! (Love)
5...4...3...2...1...Blast on!
Ornchen (Oranges or the color orange)
 Ice cream truck (Ice cream cone or cup)

I am sure there are more. I will try and add more when I remember them. He is talking in sentences now, so it is hard to keep up sometimes!