"Unassisted Homebirth: An Act of Love"

By: Lynn M. Griesemer

I just got in this book. So far (I am only in chapter one with the intro and preface behind me) I love it! Here is an awesome quote from the book:

How we birth is a reflection of our faith and confidence and how we approach birth is how we approach life.

Also, this quote which I would say to anyone who doesn't believe men should be allowed (or at least active) at birth. Something that I think is a major stereotype and should only depend on the man in question:

A father is profoundly influenced by childbirth. Birth is especially meaningful when he accepts responsibility for an event which has been in everyone's domain but his for over a century. There is no greater joy for a father to be the first to see, touch and hold his own child. He will instantly know that no doctor, midwife or other person should be the one to accept this new miracle in their hands. 

That is definitely something I have felt from the beginning of my last pregnancy. I never thought it was fair (to the man) that the guy "gets to have the fun, the woman gets the work" side of birth. I believe it is as much his experience as it is the woman's. It is his child, after all. Yes, the woman does the work, some would argue that she is the only one that counts. In my opinion, if you are having these thoughts, that is exactly the birth you will get. If you consciously or subconsciously make it a womanly experience, there will be no room for your husband to share the experience. 

Now that all of that is said, I also believe that some men can't handle birth and that they should not be involved. But to just say that "men shouldn't be at birth" (many midwives and friends have said this to me) is a generalization and an unfair statement. I say give them some power and let them experience this one in a lifetime birth (because everyone only gets one)! After all, husbands are suppose to be our biggest supporters, lovers, best friends, fathers to our children, advocates, leaders and sounding board. Why would you deny them a profound and potentially life and relationship altering experience? (Meaning that it will ultimately bring the two of you and your family closer together.)