I really want some good ideas about making breastfeeding tops. I have been thinking about it lately, a lot. I think my biggest hang-up last time was that I didn't want to spend a ton of money on nursing gear but didn't really have anything to nurse properly in public places. (Especially since Kaine DID NOT want his head covered!) I really like the style of the Momzelle line of clothing. But, seriously, $50 for a tee-shirt? No thanks!
I also really like the nursing tanks that Target sells. The Gillian & O' Malley ones. They are greatly priced and convenient to buy. The only real problem with them are that they are not really outer wear (for me anyway, I could see some super skinny new mom wearing them as outer wear, but I wouldn't be able to pull it off. Also, they are a little on the lower cut side of things and I feel like too much skin is being revealed). I was thinking about using this as a base, under clothes and with out a bra, because they are basically built-ins. So, that would be a good option, I guess, with a tee shirt or something.
I guess what I really need is for someone to fill me in on all of the good, bad and ugly about breastfeeding clothes. Any input? Any tried-and-true things that you have discovered?
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Righteous Anger?
Because I am trying to turn the other cheek and not stir things up (for once. Does that mean I am finally an adult?) you get to hear all of the terrible and horrible and annoying and mean things that people do in my life.
I don't think it is very nice when you plan to go out-of-town for your son's birthday. Plan a fishing trip and invite your other kids along. (OK, we were invited too.) Things have happened, for one, Matt didn't want to go because he felt like it was a cop-out move. (Because his dad has to go for a conference and it was more of a "oh yeah, why don't you guys come. Oh, we will plan something too." By plan, I mean this happened only 5 days ago). Another thing is, Matt has to be in a meeting all day tomorrow (10-4) and couldn't get out of it (therefore, even if he wanted to go, he wouldn't be able to).
So, I wanted to fix things. I decided to plan a small party. I invited his brothers and only a few set of his friends. Well, no-one had really gotten back to me about it. Then, about an hour ago (11:30am) I get a call from MIL. I knew what was coming. "We feel really bad", "If we didn't already have this planned...", "If we didn't have to go..." (which, I must say, the only person that HAS TO GO is his dad! NOT anyone else). Whatever, I thought. I was trying not to sound annoyed, I am sure I failed. I was trying not to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was getting under my skin (she seems to be able to do this quite a lot lately). I was busy anyway, making meat pies, and didn't really have time to hear all of her excuses. So, I tried to just focus on what I was doing and sound busy (I think she got the point!).
Anyway, what really annoys me is this: His brothers were just invited to go on like Wednesday! After I had sent out secret invites to come to the party. Let me ask you this, would you not be pissed off that people (no family!) blew off your birthday to go on a fishing trip??? The only good thing about this, however, is the fact that Matt didn't know I was planning anything. I am planning on making his day really special anyway. It is not about them. That is why I am writing this! I just want it out of me, so I can move on and not worry about all of their stupidity!
Seriously though, I now get why Matt hates his birthday. Feeling like second rate doesn't make it a very special day. Talk about selfish!
I don't think it is very nice when you plan to go out-of-town for your son's birthday. Plan a fishing trip and invite your other kids along. (OK, we were invited too.) Things have happened, for one, Matt didn't want to go because he felt like it was a cop-out move. (Because his dad has to go for a conference and it was more of a "oh yeah, why don't you guys come. Oh, we will plan something too." By plan, I mean this happened only 5 days ago). Another thing is, Matt has to be in a meeting all day tomorrow (10-4) and couldn't get out of it (therefore, even if he wanted to go, he wouldn't be able to).
So, I wanted to fix things. I decided to plan a small party. I invited his brothers and only a few set of his friends. Well, no-one had really gotten back to me about it. Then, about an hour ago (11:30am) I get a call from MIL. I knew what was coming. "We feel really bad", "If we didn't already have this planned...", "If we didn't have to go..." (which, I must say, the only person that HAS TO GO is his dad! NOT anyone else). Whatever, I thought. I was trying not to sound annoyed, I am sure I failed. I was trying not to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was getting under my skin (she seems to be able to do this quite a lot lately). I was busy anyway, making meat pies, and didn't really have time to hear all of her excuses. So, I tried to just focus on what I was doing and sound busy (I think she got the point!).
Anyway, what really annoys me is this: His brothers were just invited to go on like Wednesday! After I had sent out secret invites to come to the party. Let me ask you this, would you not be pissed off that people (no family!) blew off your birthday to go on a fishing trip??? The only good thing about this, however, is the fact that Matt didn't know I was planning anything. I am planning on making his day really special anyway. It is not about them. That is why I am writing this! I just want it out of me, so I can move on and not worry about all of their stupidity!
Seriously though, I now get why Matt hates his birthday. Feeling like second rate doesn't make it a very special day. Talk about selfish!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Potty Training
I really feel like potty training is right around the corner. Kaine came out of his video room twice yesterday, stark naked running for the potty. The first time, I was absorbed in something, and heard him take his potty out and say, "I go pee-pee in potty!" To which I replied, "Want me to...where did your diaper go?" He shrugged in reply (this is a new answer, I don't know where it came from, but it really is quite cute). The second time was pretty much the same. That time, I sat beside him and read the books that we got at the library (about going to school) to encourage him to sit there for more than 10 seconds. We got through 4 books (board books) but no pee. I really think he is realizing now that he is peeing into his diaper. I think that is why the diaper gets ripped off and he comes running to the potty. The diaper is always peed in and there is never any pee in the potty. I am encouraged though. Especially after the day or so I spent trying to potty train him with no success. So, I am not going to rush it. It seems like this is something he is becoming comfortable with on his own. Looking back at all of the adjustments we have tried to make with Kaine, it has become quite apparent that nothing is going to change until he is quite ready for it to change anyway. No matter what we do. So, slowly we will be encouraging his use of the potty, whenever he decides he wants to use it.
I am thinking, however, that once he starts pre-school in two weeks, that he will be more convinced of how to potty. He will be able to see the other children doing it (the ones that can, that is) but will not be rushed into learning. I think I will talk to the teachers and see if they will allow him to watch the other children using the potty (he watches Matt now). This, I believe, will help to jump start the process in his mind. It is one of the things that helps him now. When he is acting like he wants to go we say, "Go pee like Daddy". To which he holds himself and and stands, kind of leaning toward the potty. Of course, nothing has happened just yet. (Matt did say, the first night we tried the potty again, that when I went off Kaine started to pee and Matt directed him to the potty and he got a little in. I missed it! Matt gave him praise and then told me about it. I praised Kaine, to which he showed immediate delight!). Progress will be slow but positive.
I am thinking, however, that once he starts pre-school in two weeks, that he will be more convinced of how to potty. He will be able to see the other children doing it (the ones that can, that is) but will not be rushed into learning. I think I will talk to the teachers and see if they will allow him to watch the other children using the potty (he watches Matt now). This, I believe, will help to jump start the process in his mind. It is one of the things that helps him now. When he is acting like he wants to go we say, "Go pee like Daddy". To which he holds himself and and stands, kind of leaning toward the potty. Of course, nothing has happened just yet. (Matt did say, the first night we tried the potty again, that when I went off Kaine started to pee and Matt directed him to the potty and he got a little in. I missed it! Matt gave him praise and then told me about it. I praised Kaine, to which he showed immediate delight!). Progress will be slow but positive.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Not feeling like blogging
I have been super depressed lately, about a ton of things and don't feel like blogging. I have a lot of things on my mind, as of late. Hopefully, I will be back in the swing of things when I can settle my inner debate, get Kaine off to school without a hitch, get the MIL under control and figure out when and if with baby number two.
On a good (sort of) side note. I have been blood free now for 41 days. This is, of course, following the 3 months worth of bleeding. So, maybe it is just me losing weight that is throwing it off or my normal, not-so-normal menstral cycle rearing it's ugly head again (I was becoming pretty regular there prior to the 3 month bleed) or maybe I am pregnant.
On another side note. I was sitting on the couch yesterday, reading or watching something, and I had this overwhelming feeling of life in my uterus. Or a stirring of some sort. My initial reaction was, "Oh, hello new life". But, as it often happens, I figured it could also just be my uterus gearing up for the monthly. So, I am sure, either way, we are bound to find out soon.
On a good (sort of) side note. I have been blood free now for 41 days. This is, of course, following the 3 months worth of bleeding. So, maybe it is just me losing weight that is throwing it off or my normal, not-so-normal menstral cycle rearing it's ugly head again (I was becoming pretty regular there prior to the 3 month bleed) or maybe I am pregnant.
On another side note. I was sitting on the couch yesterday, reading or watching something, and I had this overwhelming feeling of life in my uterus. Or a stirring of some sort. My initial reaction was, "Oh, hello new life". But, as it often happens, I figured it could also just be my uterus gearing up for the monthly. So, I am sure, either way, we are bound to find out soon.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
A Discussion
I am thinking about having a conversation with my mother-in-law about boundaries. I am not really sure how to go about it. Especially since I have been warned of an upcoming conflict. So...
I feel like she is over stepping her bounds. I do not appreciate the way she comes about things. She tends to just do stuff (because she is bothered by it) and not care how it makes anyone else feel. Instead of coming to a problem and talking about it, she takes it into her own self and makes a solution that she is happy with (without concern for others or what they would have wanted or liked). Or so, to me, it seems.
My biggest issues are:
Taking over with Kaine (in my presence)
I feel like she is over stepping her bounds. I do not appreciate the way she comes about things. She tends to just do stuff (because she is bothered by it) and not care how it makes anyone else feel. Instead of coming to a problem and talking about it, she takes it into her own self and makes a solution that she is happy with (without concern for others or what they would have wanted or liked). Or so, to me, it seems.
My biggest issues are:
Taking over with Kaine (in my presence)
- she talks over me when I am talking to him
- she undermines my authority
- she will give him things (such as juice and junk food) knowing I do not like it
- she will come in and pick him up when he is being talked to about his mistakes (or being disciplined-while I am talking to him)
- She is constantly telling us to be nice
- When we are having a discussion, she tells us to stop and act a certain way
- She tries to control what we say and do (like we are her kids, not a married couple)
- She puts herself into a position of power, so that Matt has a hard time of making his own decisions
- She is nosy and wants to know things that she has no right to know
- She is nosy
- She takes over my house
- She takes over my child
- She thinks she can say whatever she wants, whenever she wants
- How she pouts about not getting her own way (this I won't bring up, it is just a valid point)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I am wavering
I am not so sure about Midwifery school anymore. After talking to that last midwife, she has gotten into my head and made me consider some really serious stuff. I was really angry about it, at first. Especially since I didn't share her philosophy about birth. Therefore, everything she said to me was automatically discredited. But, I did have to ask myself why it was bothering me so much. (I just couldn't let it go!)
The problem is this:
She brought up that being a student (and a midwife) takes you away from your family (which I had considered). I didn't really realize, until talking to her, how much of my life (and my families lives) would be affected by my decision to become a midwife. I can honestly say that I am not comfortable with the time that I would have to give away. The whole point of my being a mom is to stay home and take care of my children (without any assistance, or very little). How am I going to do that when I would constantly be on call and leaving my family at a drop of a hat? I can't do that. That is not the type of life I want to live.
So, I think I have made the decision to not go to midwifery school after-all. Maybe later in life, when my kids are older and I wouldn't feel as bad about leaving them. I think, I am going to go back to education and finish my already started degree. At least this will give me a schedule that would allow me to raise my kids. Also, if I decided to go in as a private school teacher, I may be able to get tuition for free or nothing at all.
I have not made an actual decision on whether I am going back to teaching or not. A lot of things depend on each other in order to make this happen. I have to do more work and figure out if it would, indeed, be a good thing for us to consider. Here's to a new journey.
The problem is this:
She brought up that being a student (and a midwife) takes you away from your family (which I had considered). I didn't really realize, until talking to her, how much of my life (and my families lives) would be affected by my decision to become a midwife. I can honestly say that I am not comfortable with the time that I would have to give away. The whole point of my being a mom is to stay home and take care of my children (without any assistance, or very little). How am I going to do that when I would constantly be on call and leaving my family at a drop of a hat? I can't do that. That is not the type of life I want to live.
So, I think I have made the decision to not go to midwifery school after-all. Maybe later in life, when my kids are older and I wouldn't feel as bad about leaving them. I think, I am going to go back to education and finish my already started degree. At least this will give me a schedule that would allow me to raise my kids. Also, if I decided to go in as a private school teacher, I may be able to get tuition for free or nothing at all.
I have not made an actual decision on whether I am going back to teaching or not. A lot of things depend on each other in order to make this happen. I have to do more work and figure out if it would, indeed, be a good thing for us to consider. Here's to a new journey.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Worst Weekend EVER!
I had unexpected house guest this weekend. Much to my dismay my mother-in-law invited herself (and her house guest over) I thought it was only going to be for one night (which I was completely fine about). NOPE! It turned out to be the ENTIRE weekend. Starting off with a shopping spree in St. Augustine.
This is how it went. We were talking about her guests coming. She asked if I wanted to go to the Outlets in St. Augustine (to get school clothes for Kaine). I said that would be a good idea. She showed up (an hour late) on Friday. Then informed me we were going to the beach too. I was completely unprepared for that. I had to run around and find Kaine's beach stuff. I didn't even bother to pack any of mine.
We went shopping. (I found out later the girls she had as house guest only thought we were going to the beach. So, we were both fooled!) Anyway, the trip was okay. I was left everywhere I went and even spent the majority of the shopping completely by myself (with Kaine, of course). I was told to meet them places that they said they were and after waiting around they didn't show up. I decided that if they were going to be rude to me that I would just get going with my own shopping and then meet them when they were ready to go. (I have a baby with me after all! They don't tend to take to waiting for other people!) So, as I was going to my last shop which was completely out of the way of where they said they were going to be. Here comes mom-in-law around the corner (opposite of where she said she was!) and says "Oh, here you are. I thought you were at the other store!" To which I rudely (and deservedly replied) "I was!" She followed me in the store but made sure to make it apparent that we were surely not together. Whatever!
We then went on to the beach. It was hot. I was not dressed for it. The water was REALLY cold and it was crowded. (There was a kids group there, kinda like a summer camp on a field trip.) Kaine enjoyed himself. That was good. I was ready to go within 30 minutes. I walked back up the beach to get water from the concession stand and hid in the car to cool down. I also called Matt. I decided to try and make it fun and bought some bubbles and an ice-cream for Kaine and walked back down the beach. It was better and, by then, everyone was ready to go.
Next came the, "Do you mind if we come back to your place?" Which, at the time, I didn't. I did, however, have this sense of dread about not being prepared for guests. It was fine, the first night. Saturday morning showed that I wanted them gone. Her house guest didn't seem to be enjoying themselves either. (Would you? Unexpectedly stuck out in the woods?) She seemed to be the only one who was happy with what they were doing. She made a big fuss about cleaning up around the house. Making dinner and whatever. She even got to the point of telling Matt (when he had a conversation with her about knocking off all of the cleaning and meddling) "When we lived on the farm, we learned to appreciate things!" Meaning that we didn't appreciate our things and the fact that we live in her house! AAARRGGHH! I still have not forgiven her for that! (She is an extremely privileged and pompous ass!)
On top of her strutting around and taking over (her specialty). She was highly offended that Kaine didn't want anything to do with her. She seemed to want to (and did) take it out on me (like I put him up to it!). She was fussing over him (and if you know me, I let him just go about his business and just interact with him like he is human). She wouldn't leave him alone. Which he didn't appreciate AT ALL! (He is a lot like me, he doesn't like to be bothered all that much. He likes to be by himself a good bit of the time). So, she even pouted at one point and was like "Fine! I won't do anymore for you!" (I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wanted to slug her right there! I was like, "How old are you? Who is the adult here?") Can you believe this BS?!
And, as if it couldn't get any worse, she goes and invites both of Matt's brothers and their girlfriends over, Matt's dad and the neighbor! All of which I didn't know about until they arrived! So, now the total count of who is in the house is at 12! In a 1200 square foot house mind you! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs for everyone to "GET OUT!!!!" It was seriously like a party and blessing when they finally did (Sunday at around 9pm!). I could have killed her, I really could have!
*BTW, this isn't even the worst part of it. She had such an overbearing attitude and did EVERYTHING she could think of that would get under my skin. Undermining me at every turn! And trust me, that is a HUGE understatement!!!!! It is my opinion that if you want respect and friendship, then that is what you should, in turn, give to others! Hypocrite!
This is how it went. We were talking about her guests coming. She asked if I wanted to go to the Outlets in St. Augustine (to get school clothes for Kaine). I said that would be a good idea. She showed up (an hour late) on Friday. Then informed me we were going to the beach too. I was completely unprepared for that. I had to run around and find Kaine's beach stuff. I didn't even bother to pack any of mine.
We went shopping. (I found out later the girls she had as house guest only thought we were going to the beach. So, we were both fooled!) Anyway, the trip was okay. I was left everywhere I went and even spent the majority of the shopping completely by myself (with Kaine, of course). I was told to meet them places that they said they were and after waiting around they didn't show up. I decided that if they were going to be rude to me that I would just get going with my own shopping and then meet them when they were ready to go. (I have a baby with me after all! They don't tend to take to waiting for other people!) So, as I was going to my last shop which was completely out of the way of where they said they were going to be. Here comes mom-in-law around the corner (opposite of where she said she was!) and says "Oh, here you are. I thought you were at the other store!" To which I rudely (and deservedly replied) "I was!" She followed me in the store but made sure to make it apparent that we were surely not together. Whatever!
We then went on to the beach. It was hot. I was not dressed for it. The water was REALLY cold and it was crowded. (There was a kids group there, kinda like a summer camp on a field trip.) Kaine enjoyed himself. That was good. I was ready to go within 30 minutes. I walked back up the beach to get water from the concession stand and hid in the car to cool down. I also called Matt. I decided to try and make it fun and bought some bubbles and an ice-cream for Kaine and walked back down the beach. It was better and, by then, everyone was ready to go.
Next came the, "Do you mind if we come back to your place?" Which, at the time, I didn't. I did, however, have this sense of dread about not being prepared for guests. It was fine, the first night. Saturday morning showed that I wanted them gone. Her house guest didn't seem to be enjoying themselves either. (Would you? Unexpectedly stuck out in the woods?) She seemed to be the only one who was happy with what they were doing. She made a big fuss about cleaning up around the house. Making dinner and whatever. She even got to the point of telling Matt (when he had a conversation with her about knocking off all of the cleaning and meddling) "When we lived on the farm, we learned to appreciate things!" Meaning that we didn't appreciate our things and the fact that we live in her house! AAARRGGHH! I still have not forgiven her for that! (She is an extremely privileged and pompous ass!)
On top of her strutting around and taking over (her specialty). She was highly offended that Kaine didn't want anything to do with her. She seemed to want to (and did) take it out on me (like I put him up to it!). She was fussing over him (and if you know me, I let him just go about his business and just interact with him like he is human). She wouldn't leave him alone. Which he didn't appreciate AT ALL! (He is a lot like me, he doesn't like to be bothered all that much. He likes to be by himself a good bit of the time). So, she even pouted at one point and was like "Fine! I won't do anymore for you!" (I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wanted to slug her right there! I was like, "How old are you? Who is the adult here?") Can you believe this BS?!
And, as if it couldn't get any worse, she goes and invites both of Matt's brothers and their girlfriends over, Matt's dad and the neighbor! All of which I didn't know about until they arrived! So, now the total count of who is in the house is at 12! In a 1200 square foot house mind you! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs for everyone to "GET OUT!!!!" It was seriously like a party and blessing when they finally did (Sunday at around 9pm!). I could have killed her, I really could have!
*BTW, this isn't even the worst part of it. She had such an overbearing attitude and did EVERYTHING she could think of that would get under my skin. Undermining me at every turn! And trust me, that is a HUGE understatement!!!!! It is my opinion that if you want respect and friendship, then that is what you should, in turn, give to others! Hypocrite!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
No binky - No naps
Kaine was a true handful today. But, after the night we had, who can blame him. His binky woes are continuing. As I predicted, by today, it has only gotten worse. He got up last night and apparently I told Matt to "just go and get him". Matt said he slept for about an hour after he brought him into bed with us. This is when Kaine woke up and started crying about wanting his binky. This is also the time that I noticed he was in bed with us (I didn't remember hearing him or telling Matt to go and get him). He cried for what seemed like 30 minutes (which it was probably only 10-15 minutes, but when your tired...). Poor guy. He wanted it this morning too. And, much to my dismay, I came in the living room after my shower to see him watching TV with his thumb in his mouth (I could have called my pediatrician right then and there and chewed him out for encouraging me to keep the binky because "we don't want him sucking his thumb, do we? Not like we can cut it off."). That thing would have been long gone if it were not for that statement (and me not wanting to deal with the sorrow that we are currently facing). I am three days in though and refuse to go back (not after what he has already endured!). I am hoping that by the end of the week we will be binky free and feelings will be not so hurt.
On another note, he has not taken a nap in two days (a serious record for him). But he has been sleeping in until 9 or even 10 in the morning. So, I don't know, is it a good trade off?
On another note, he has not taken a nap in two days (a serious record for him). But he has been sleeping in until 9 or even 10 in the morning. So, I don't know, is it a good trade off?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Kaine and his Binky
Kaine is doing well. I am doing better than expected about letting him cry about the binky. Although, it is not as bad as I thought it was going to be in the first place. Today was harder than yesterday. He had Matt to comfort him when he no longer wanted me. Today he just had me, which was hard for both of us. He ended up not taking a nap today because he couldn't get comfortable with out his binky.
Bed time was rough. Matt tried to lay with him but it annoyed him. Kaine was chewing on his blanket and annoying Matt. Kaine was okay, until he got up and Matt told him to go back to bed. He then started to cry for me and I went into him. I sat with him for a while. He asked about his binky and I told him it was gone and we didn't have any more. Which made him cry. He then said something like, "My mouth". Which meant that he couldn't sleep because he wanted (and has a sensation for) his binky. (I can relate, I sucked my thumb for a REALLY long time and know the feeling that he is trying to get over- the hardest part!) I tried to soothe him as best I could (rubbing his back, patting him, trying to hold him). He then asked for water (something he never does! He usually wants milk). I went and got it for him and was able to just give it to him and leave. I didn't hear another peep from him. I am thinking that the sucking required for the cup helps with the sensation and I am sure the water also helps (sucking creates saliva production). So, if this is his transition item, I am okay with that!
He does seem to be getting a lot better. His speech has actually improved within the time that he has not had his binky. (But this may just be a coincidence because this is the time of life when speech and cognitive development is at a boom.) I am expecting tomorrow to be the worst day. However, we are going to the Butterfly museum in Gainesville, so he will, at least, have a distraction.
Bed time was rough. Matt tried to lay with him but it annoyed him. Kaine was chewing on his blanket and annoying Matt. Kaine was okay, until he got up and Matt told him to go back to bed. He then started to cry for me and I went into him. I sat with him for a while. He asked about his binky and I told him it was gone and we didn't have any more. Which made him cry. He then said something like, "My mouth". Which meant that he couldn't sleep because he wanted (and has a sensation for) his binky. (I can relate, I sucked my thumb for a REALLY long time and know the feeling that he is trying to get over- the hardest part!) I tried to soothe him as best I could (rubbing his back, patting him, trying to hold him). He then asked for water (something he never does! He usually wants milk). I went and got it for him and was able to just give it to him and leave. I didn't hear another peep from him. I am thinking that the sucking required for the cup helps with the sensation and I am sure the water also helps (sucking creates saliva production). So, if this is his transition item, I am okay with that!
He does seem to be getting a lot better. His speech has actually improved within the time that he has not had his binky. (But this may just be a coincidence because this is the time of life when speech and cognitive development is at a boom.) I am expecting tomorrow to be the worst day. However, we are going to the Butterfly museum in Gainesville, so he will, at least, have a distraction.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
No More Binky
Today marks the first day of "No Binky". I discovered this morning that the one Kaine has been using was seriously deteriorating. It was the last one we had (or at least I think it is!). So, I asked him, this morning, if he wanted to throw it away and get a "present". He cried about letting it go. I convinced him to throw it away with Dum-Dum and telling him he was going to get a present if he did. (We felt it was important for him to be the one to throw it away.) He threw it away. I then told Matt to go and get it and "put it somewhere neither I or Kaine could find it". I, of course, being the weaker person in this equation. I would totally give in when the tears struck!
He was allowed to go and get a toy at Walmart. He got a new Thomas track fold-up and a new Emily with a coal tender. He even got a new Thomas video. It was a good day for him. (I really felt like we needed to make a big deal about getting him something good. I wanted the trade off to be worth it. Not to mention, I wanted him to have something new to take him mind off his loss.)
Nap time rolled around and I thought we were going to have an all-out tantrum about the binky. To my surprise (I was told this later by Matt who was on nap duty) that he asked for it once, Matt told him no, Kaine whined for a minute and then didn't ask for it again. He fell asleep and slept for a good while. He was not in a good mood when he woke up, however. He really went through a point of missing it. He was really whinny and needed some extra comforting from Mom, which I was happy to give. He then asked for me to "Go get it!" I told him it was in the trash and he led me to it and said, "Find it!" I told him it was "all gone". He wasn't okay with that but quickly got over it.
At bedtime, again I was waiting for a fight. It wasn't as easy as nap. (This is what I was expecting). Matt initially laid him down with a story and his blanket. He, of course, didn't stay in bed. I then went to him to see if I could offer some comfort. He asked for his binky and started to point around the edge of the mattress and even lifted his pillow and told me to, "Find it!" He knew that was where it usually is found when it falls out of his mouth after he goes to sleep at night (which is one of the indicators of why we thought it was time to get rid of it!). I told him it was in the trash and he started to cry. I offered milk and he accepted. Then I laid down with him (to comfort him and let him feel less alone in his sadness) but he couldn't get comfortable (mostly because he couldn't get over the feeling of wanting his binky). I felt it would be easier for me to just leave. A few minutes later he was at his door, ready for something else. Matt took over and Kaine was down for the count. (I don't know how Matt does it. Kaine seems to fall asleep faster if he is there. With me, he tries all sort of things and it takes me forever to get him to go to sleep. (I call this the "extension of the breastfeeding relationship", even though we didn't really have one, I was still his main source of food and comfort as a non-mobile baby).
I am hoping not and worrying that the worst is yet to come. I have heard that the third day is the worst day. I cannot remember where I heard this or even if I am making it up. However, I hope that is not true and he does better and better and it is soon all forgotten. The next one, WILL NOT have one of those things!! (Even if that means the dear has to be latched to me 24/7!)
He was allowed to go and get a toy at Walmart. He got a new Thomas track fold-up and a new Emily with a coal tender. He even got a new Thomas video. It was a good day for him. (I really felt like we needed to make a big deal about getting him something good. I wanted the trade off to be worth it. Not to mention, I wanted him to have something new to take him mind off his loss.)
Nap time rolled around and I thought we were going to have an all-out tantrum about the binky. To my surprise (I was told this later by Matt who was on nap duty) that he asked for it once, Matt told him no, Kaine whined for a minute and then didn't ask for it again. He fell asleep and slept for a good while. He was not in a good mood when he woke up, however. He really went through a point of missing it. He was really whinny and needed some extra comforting from Mom, which I was happy to give. He then asked for me to "Go get it!" I told him it was in the trash and he led me to it and said, "Find it!" I told him it was "all gone". He wasn't okay with that but quickly got over it.
At bedtime, again I was waiting for a fight. It wasn't as easy as nap. (This is what I was expecting). Matt initially laid him down with a story and his blanket. He, of course, didn't stay in bed. I then went to him to see if I could offer some comfort. He asked for his binky and started to point around the edge of the mattress and even lifted his pillow and told me to, "Find it!" He knew that was where it usually is found when it falls out of his mouth after he goes to sleep at night (which is one of the indicators of why we thought it was time to get rid of it!). I told him it was in the trash and he started to cry. I offered milk and he accepted. Then I laid down with him (to comfort him and let him feel less alone in his sadness) but he couldn't get comfortable (mostly because he couldn't get over the feeling of wanting his binky). I felt it would be easier for me to just leave. A few minutes later he was at his door, ready for something else. Matt took over and Kaine was down for the count. (I don't know how Matt does it. Kaine seems to fall asleep faster if he is there. With me, he tries all sort of things and it takes me forever to get him to go to sleep. (I call this the "extension of the breastfeeding relationship", even though we didn't really have one, I was still his main source of food and comfort as a non-mobile baby).
I am hoping not and worrying that the worst is yet to come. I have heard that the third day is the worst day. I cannot remember where I heard this or even if I am making it up. However, I hope that is not true and he does better and better and it is soon all forgotten. The next one, WILL NOT have one of those things!! (Even if that means the dear has to be latched to me 24/7!)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
New VBAC Wording
USA Today VBAC Article
Click on the link to view the full article. You have to purchase the rights to it in order to copy/post any or all of it. I would rather send you straight to it (I am sure they would too). I found out from the midwife (in the last post) that they are changing the wording on VBAC and the official stand. Not much changed. However, they are verbally saying (as you will see in the article) that they are in support of women having VBAC's now. Of course, they mean in a hospital with staff alerted to what is going on.
I have come to the conclusion that this does not apply to me. I am not one of those c-section people who went and got pregnant right after having the first one. (It is recommended that you wait at least 18 months before becoming pregnant again. Go here for an article about this.) Kaine is 26 months old. I have been doing exercises to strengthen my core (or the muscles used to support the uterus and baby). I did not have muscle separation. I was almost completely healed at 3 months (no stitches, no bleeding, no pain, no complications, etc...) Plus, while laying on the table I was told, "You are a GREAT candidate for VBAC". Thank you very much! I accept!
I am moving forward from my tragic birth. I am no longer going to ask myself "what could have been?", I am no longer going to dwell on "what might happen". When and if we get pregnant we are going to treat the birth like a first timer going through it. My uterus will just have to learn how to get a baby out. I am letting go of the fear that something terrible is going to happen (Go here for stats on uterine rupture caused by VBAC). Basically it states that:
"Dozens of studies report that for women who have had one prior cesarean birth with a low-horizontal incision, the risk of uterine rupture is 0.5% to 1.0%." That number is just not high enough for me to worry. Plus, I have NO other warning signs for rupture (I am currently losing weight to lower my risk factor even more. I am not sure if this is a medical truth, but I figure that it could not hurt. The idea being that if you are overweight you don't have good tone and therefore, are putting more stress on the belly (with the help of gravity) and making your scar weaker. This, by association, means that you would not have the muscle support you would need to help your uterus hold a baby and give birth.)
I am moving on. I am having a home VBAC. I am finally healed from my trauma (enough to know that you can never be healed and you accept and learn from what has happened). I will use this to help others, someday.
Click on the link to view the full article. You have to purchase the rights to it in order to copy/post any or all of it. I would rather send you straight to it (I am sure they would too). I found out from the midwife (in the last post) that they are changing the wording on VBAC and the official stand. Not much changed. However, they are verbally saying (as you will see in the article) that they are in support of women having VBAC's now. Of course, they mean in a hospital with staff alerted to what is going on.
I have come to the conclusion that this does not apply to me. I am not one of those c-section people who went and got pregnant right after having the first one. (It is recommended that you wait at least 18 months before becoming pregnant again. Go here for an article about this.) Kaine is 26 months old. I have been doing exercises to strengthen my core (or the muscles used to support the uterus and baby). I did not have muscle separation. I was almost completely healed at 3 months (no stitches, no bleeding, no pain, no complications, etc...) Plus, while laying on the table I was told, "You are a GREAT candidate for VBAC". Thank you very much! I accept!
I am moving forward from my tragic birth. I am no longer going to ask myself "what could have been?", I am no longer going to dwell on "what might happen". When and if we get pregnant we are going to treat the birth like a first timer going through it. My uterus will just have to learn how to get a baby out. I am letting go of the fear that something terrible is going to happen (Go here for stats on uterine rupture caused by VBAC). Basically it states that:
"Dozens of studies report that for women who have had one prior cesarean birth with a low-horizontal incision, the risk of uterine rupture is 0.5% to 1.0%." That number is just not high enough for me to worry. Plus, I have NO other warning signs for rupture (I am currently losing weight to lower my risk factor even more. I am not sure if this is a medical truth, but I figure that it could not hurt. The idea being that if you are overweight you don't have good tone and therefore, are putting more stress on the belly (with the help of gravity) and making your scar weaker. This, by association, means that you would not have the muscle support you would need to help your uterus hold a baby and give birth.)
I am moving on. I am having a home VBAC. I am finally healed from my trauma (enough to know that you can never be healed and you accept and learn from what has happened). I will use this to help others, someday.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A stressful day
Today has been stressful. Not only did I have a midwife tell me that I should not be considering going to midwifery school unless I "was prepared to have another mommy" for my kids. I also had a two hour conversation about my birth experience and birth beliefs, including the possibility of a VBAC home birth (with the same midwife). We did not see eye-to-eye only because she thinks that her future in VBAC may be in jeopardy due to the fact that the Dr. that approves them wants to have a contract (with a substantial fee) with the midwives that she approves. Because this midwife is a small home birth (independent) midwife, she does not do enough business for it to be beneficial for her to pay the fee. I guess in a few days I/she will know where she stands on this issue (she requested to stay on with the Dr. without paying the fee and using her on a needed basis, kinda like she is doing now).
I think my biggest issue with the conversation was the fact that I might have gotten my hopes up (she came highly recommended). I was told that her "mission work" was VBAC, I just didn't get that feeling from her (not that the person who told me was off base). I just feel like she wouldn't really fight for a VBAC if there was ANY opposition to it. (She even said at one point that she "had the problems of birth drilled into her head. But, she could still miss some". That just doesn't strike me as the type of person I want at my labor. Someone looking for something to go wrong with the VBAC.) Therefore, I do not think she would be a good fit with us.
Also, she doesn't believe in the Bradley Method and, from what I gleaned, doesn't feel like husbands have a place at birth. This is definitely NOT something that I agree with (or Matt for that matter). I feel like a well informed and WILLING husband is the perfect coach for his birthing wife. Especially in Matt's case. He is a physiologist, he knows forward and backward, how the body works and what it should be doing. Plus, he has my utmost interest at heart (and his child's). Unlike someone that I will be getting to know for only 9 months and then the relationship is over with the final paycheck. (I know, that seems cold and mean, I do not mean it to sound bitter. I believe in midwives and I believe in the 9 month relationship). She even said, "I cringe when I hear that someone is taking Bradley classes" (this was said after I told her I was planning on becoming a Bradley instructor). She is NOT the midwife for us.
Also, speaking of Bradley, I answered a call from the headquarters around dinner. She said that because I had a medicated birth that I would have to attend 20 Bradley (unmedicated) births to be eligible to go to the teaching seminar. Seeing as how this is 2 months away, I told her to go ahead and send my money order back. I do not see how, even a year from now, I would have that many births under my belt. I did, however, ask her what would happen if I had an unmedicated Bradley birth and she said that I would be good to go. So, at least I know. I figured it was going to be something like that. I didn't get my hopes up. So, now I plan to just take the general child birth educator course that is offered ever so often at the birth center, just so I can have the prerequisite met. I am not heart broken. There will still be time, later, to go back and do the Bradley thing.
The new plan is: take the Doula and breastfeeding course in September, take a child birth educator course (when I figure out when it is), take a business math class (and possibly just finish my degree) and move on into midwifery school. Also, throw in looking for another midwife (although I think I might have decided on one) and having another baby. And, Kaine is starting school and we are going to be looking into Catholic schools and churches too. We have also put the house plans on hold and are waiting a year in order to save more money and build our already "okay/good" credit. (As the mortgage guy said, "it is no good to be house rich and money poor".)
I think my biggest issue with the conversation was the fact that I might have gotten my hopes up (she came highly recommended). I was told that her "mission work" was VBAC, I just didn't get that feeling from her (not that the person who told me was off base). I just feel like she wouldn't really fight for a VBAC if there was ANY opposition to it. (She even said at one point that she "had the problems of birth drilled into her head. But, she could still miss some". That just doesn't strike me as the type of person I want at my labor. Someone looking for something to go wrong with the VBAC.) Therefore, I do not think she would be a good fit with us.
Also, she doesn't believe in the Bradley Method and, from what I gleaned, doesn't feel like husbands have a place at birth. This is definitely NOT something that I agree with (or Matt for that matter). I feel like a well informed and WILLING husband is the perfect coach for his birthing wife. Especially in Matt's case. He is a physiologist, he knows forward and backward, how the body works and what it should be doing. Plus, he has my utmost interest at heart (and his child's). Unlike someone that I will be getting to know for only 9 months and then the relationship is over with the final paycheck. (I know, that seems cold and mean, I do not mean it to sound bitter. I believe in midwives and I believe in the 9 month relationship). She even said, "I cringe when I hear that someone is taking Bradley classes" (this was said after I told her I was planning on becoming a Bradley instructor). She is NOT the midwife for us.
Also, speaking of Bradley, I answered a call from the headquarters around dinner. She said that because I had a medicated birth that I would have to attend 20 Bradley (unmedicated) births to be eligible to go to the teaching seminar. Seeing as how this is 2 months away, I told her to go ahead and send my money order back. I do not see how, even a year from now, I would have that many births under my belt. I did, however, ask her what would happen if I had an unmedicated Bradley birth and she said that I would be good to go. So, at least I know. I figured it was going to be something like that. I didn't get my hopes up. So, now I plan to just take the general child birth educator course that is offered ever so often at the birth center, just so I can have the prerequisite met. I am not heart broken. There will still be time, later, to go back and do the Bradley thing.
The new plan is: take the Doula and breastfeeding course in September, take a child birth educator course (when I figure out when it is), take a business math class (and possibly just finish my degree) and move on into midwifery school. Also, throw in looking for another midwife (although I think I might have decided on one) and having another baby. And, Kaine is starting school and we are going to be looking into Catholic schools and churches too. We have also put the house plans on hold and are waiting a year in order to save more money and build our already "okay/good" credit. (As the mortgage guy said, "it is no good to be house rich and money poor".)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
My thoughts on Cloth Diapers
As many of you know, I have an abnormally large baby. We didn't really think to much about cloth diapers when he was born. (Mostly because we were living in student housing at UF and only had community washer and dryers. With only the option to wash every week, instead of the every-other-day wash needed, it was not a possibility.) I, personally, was grossed out about having to get "down and dirty" in the poop and clean up process (including laundering). For the past 26 months (all of Kaine's life) I have been going back and forth between the cloth diaper world and the world of disposable diapers.
My biggest hurdle in both worlds was one of cost. I like how cloth diapers are a one time buy option. I like the cost and quantity of disposables (especially when you buy in bulk. Not to mention, that they work, are easy to use, are not bulky and are proven to not leak). However, this option, over time, makes you spend A LOT more money. (Of which I can personally attest to.) Cloth, on the other hand, is a VERY LARGE initial out-of-pocket expense. One that bothers me a great deal, as it turns out. For the "normal" sized baby (ones that are 40lbs at, lets say, 3 years old) can have their pick from the cloth diapering world without much, if any, trouble to worry about. But, if your baby falls out of the "standard/normal" range, you are screwed! (excuse my language)
I love the idea of cloth. Not so much the searching around for what will work aspect of cloth. Especially for my over-sized child. I did finally give in and talk to the lady at Sunshine Diapers. This helped me to see and feel the products (and ask a ton of questions) before I made any purchases. Rhea is fabulous and very helpful. She opened my eyes to the options for bigger babies (which I was surprised to see that there were).
We started out with Gerber prefolds and plastic pull-on pants and planned to use pins (totally old school). When that option failed (because Gerber prefold SUPER shrink in the wash and also do not hold that much liquid. Plus, the plastic pants are super hard to put on a non mobile baby. Not to mention the pins! UGH!) The good side of Gerber: cost is excellent, they are good cleaning clothes (for home made wipes, wash clothes, general house cleaning). I then found out about gDiapers and LOVE them (still do, to this very day). They just don't have a "bigger baby" option (they only go up to 36lbs). Kaine stopped being able to wear these a while ago. We still plan to use these for other babies until they grow out of them. We are now using Thristies size 2 covers with some different sorts of inserts that I got from Rhea. I went ahead and decided to get an assortment of inserts to see which ones I like (before I buy). So far, the bamboo and hemp (with the terry and microfiber) seem to be excellent. I wanted to try this option before I buy a lot to see if it will be worth it. I have to say I am impressed and all of the research I have done about bamboo and hemp (being super absorbent) is seeming to pay off.
So, where are we now? I am planning on buying (from a bulk merchandiser in CA) 10 yards of hemp/cotton blend (55% to 45%) to make my own inserts. This is EXACTLY the same material that all of the hemp diapers on the market are using. But, since the market diapers are $5-8 a piece (ridiculous, if you ask me!) I will be able to get more (way more!) out of my purchase of 10 yards of fabric (not to mention, different sizes) and spend (with shipping) $103. At this price, for bigger hemp baby prefolds (which are my inspiration) I would only get 13 (and I would have to add $.35 cents to the total). This, in my opinion, is not a good option. So, I plan to make my own and even use the rest of the fabric for the already started diapers that someone is making for me (that I have not been able to finish because I could not find all good priced fabric to move forward on them!).
If you really want to give it a go and make it stick, I suggest learning all you can about diaper sprayers (saves in dealing with the poop issue at toilet time), washing and storing soiled diapers (biggy here, don't skimp on your research). There are many sites out there that will give you loads of information on all of these topics (much to my delight). Here are some sites I have found helpful:
Sunshine Diapers
Diaper Cuts
Diaper Pin
gDiapers
My biggest hurdle in both worlds was one of cost. I like how cloth diapers are a one time buy option. I like the cost and quantity of disposables (especially when you buy in bulk. Not to mention, that they work, are easy to use, are not bulky and are proven to not leak). However, this option, over time, makes you spend A LOT more money. (Of which I can personally attest to.) Cloth, on the other hand, is a VERY LARGE initial out-of-pocket expense. One that bothers me a great deal, as it turns out. For the "normal" sized baby (ones that are 40lbs at, lets say, 3 years old) can have their pick from the cloth diapering world without much, if any, trouble to worry about. But, if your baby falls out of the "standard/normal" range, you are screwed! (excuse my language)
I love the idea of cloth. Not so much the searching around for what will work aspect of cloth. Especially for my over-sized child. I did finally give in and talk to the lady at Sunshine Diapers. This helped me to see and feel the products (and ask a ton of questions) before I made any purchases. Rhea is fabulous and very helpful. She opened my eyes to the options for bigger babies (which I was surprised to see that there were).
We started out with Gerber prefolds and plastic pull-on pants and planned to use pins (totally old school). When that option failed (because Gerber prefold SUPER shrink in the wash and also do not hold that much liquid. Plus, the plastic pants are super hard to put on a non mobile baby. Not to mention the pins! UGH!) The good side of Gerber: cost is excellent, they are good cleaning clothes (for home made wipes, wash clothes, general house cleaning). I then found out about gDiapers and LOVE them (still do, to this very day). They just don't have a "bigger baby" option (they only go up to 36lbs). Kaine stopped being able to wear these a while ago. We still plan to use these for other babies until they grow out of them. We are now using Thristies size 2 covers with some different sorts of inserts that I got from Rhea. I went ahead and decided to get an assortment of inserts to see which ones I like (before I buy). So far, the bamboo and hemp (with the terry and microfiber) seem to be excellent. I wanted to try this option before I buy a lot to see if it will be worth it. I have to say I am impressed and all of the research I have done about bamboo and hemp (being super absorbent) is seeming to pay off.
So, where are we now? I am planning on buying (from a bulk merchandiser in CA) 10 yards of hemp/cotton blend (55% to 45%) to make my own inserts. This is EXACTLY the same material that all of the hemp diapers on the market are using. But, since the market diapers are $5-8 a piece (ridiculous, if you ask me!) I will be able to get more (way more!) out of my purchase of 10 yards of fabric (not to mention, different sizes) and spend (with shipping) $103. At this price, for bigger hemp baby prefolds (which are my inspiration) I would only get 13 (and I would have to add $.35 cents to the total). This, in my opinion, is not a good option. So, I plan to make my own and even use the rest of the fabric for the already started diapers that someone is making for me (that I have not been able to finish because I could not find all good priced fabric to move forward on them!).
If you really want to give it a go and make it stick, I suggest learning all you can about diaper sprayers (saves in dealing with the poop issue at toilet time), washing and storing soiled diapers (biggy here, don't skimp on your research). There are many sites out there that will give you loads of information on all of these topics (much to my delight). Here are some sites I have found helpful:
Sunshine Diapers
Diaper Cuts
Diaper Pin
gDiapers
Monday, August 2, 2010
Current VBAC Climate in Florida
First of all, let me state that this is very dear to my heart. This is a cause I can and will get behind. I would be considered a VBAC patient for all of the births that I am destined to have. I do not mind (I used to) but I know how to take care of myself and plan to do just that. I wanted to post about the current legal status of VBAC's in Florida. For those of you who do not know VBAC = Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. This is what is currently being fought for:
VBAC's in birth centers across the state of Florida. They are currently being challenged and were previously considered as a "de facto ban" in all of Florida. This means that:
I am appalled to see that it has come this far! Do our human rights really have to mean so little? If women are given the choice to end a pregnancy, just because it is not wanted, don't you think we have the right to birth the way we want? (I am not advocating abortion here!) We won the right to choose, but we do not have the right to choose where, when and how we give birth to our babies. Many people feel it is dangerous to even be given this right. Others have no clue and are blindly walking into a situation that can cause more harm than good. Our right to educate ourselves and make our own decisions, about what is right for us and our children, are being taken away from us! And, worse, we are letting them do it!!
Moreover, I am appalled by the midwives in this state. I am horrifically offended that there is not more fighting going on in the midwife communities of Florida to better a woman's right to choose a home birth or a birth center. Many are to afraid to stand up and fight for what they know is right and good and just. Just because birth centers and home birth are still allowed does NOT mean the fight is over ladies!! That was just the beginning. What about the other women who would be perfectly fine having their babies at home or with a birth center? What about the breech babies, the VBAC's, the twins?? Not enough has changed. We should not be afraid to upset the status quo! Fight for what you believe in. I know you gals are out there!
Don't let us go underground. Let us stand in the light and fight for the rights of women. The rights of our daughters, our friends and our babies. There is still more to do. Don't let what we know to be right be taken away. It is our right and our choice.
VBAC's in birth centers across the state of Florida. They are currently being challenged and were previously considered as a "de facto ban" in all of Florida. This means that:
De facto is a Latin expression that means "in fact" or "in practice", commonly used as opposed to de jure (meaning "by law") when referring to matters of law or governance or technique (such as standards), that are found in the common experience as created or developed without or against a regulation. (From here).
De facto standards
A de facto standard, for instance, is a technical or other standard that is so dominant that everybody seems to follow it like an authorized standard. The de jure standard may be different: one example is the metric unit of kilometre, which is the de jure standard for road distances in the United States, while the mile (=1609.344 m) is the de facto standard. In addition, there is no law preventing one from adding a twenty-seventh letter such as รพ to the alphabet, as letters were added, centuries ago, without much difficulty, but one is prevented from doing so today by the practical difficulties involved. Thus there is a de facto limit on modifications to the alphabet. The de facto standard is not even formalized in all cases and may simply rely on the fact that someone has come up with a good (hopefully unpatented) idea that everybody else likes so much that it is copied/plagiarized. Typical creators of de facto-standards are individual companies, corporations and consortiums.
A de facto standard, for instance, is a technical or other standard that is so dominant that everybody seems to follow it like an authorized standard. The de jure standard may be different: one example is the metric unit of kilometre, which is the de jure standard for road distances in the United States, while the mile (=1609.344 m) is the de facto standard. In addition, there is no law preventing one from adding a twenty-seventh letter such as รพ to the alphabet, as letters were added, centuries ago, without much difficulty, but one is prevented from doing so today by the practical difficulties involved. Thus there is a de facto limit on modifications to the alphabet. The de facto standard is not even formalized in all cases and may simply rely on the fact that someone has come up with a good (hopefully unpatented) idea that everybody else likes so much that it is copied/plagiarized. Typical creators of de facto-standards are individual companies, corporations and consortiums.
In English, this means that there is an "in practice" ban of VBAC's across the state. People are not in favor of doing them in their practices. This DOES NOT mean that they are illegal!! It just means "as a rule" people do not do them. In fact, there is currently only one OB-GYN in Florida that is even willing to approve VBAC's. She is in Miami and will travel the state to come and see you.
The BirthGirlz website is currently mounting a legal battle to help support those of us who would desire VBACS out of hospital. Please visit their website and see how you can help to support this worthy cause! Go here for the post that alerted me to their existence. Here is the original post (Just in case it disappears):
Florida’s Agency for Health Care Administration is expected to permanently ban Vaginal Birth after Cesarean (VBAC) in the state’s birth centers. In response, BirthGirlz, a national nonprofit based in Florida, is mounting a legal challenge, arguing that the ban is beyond the scope of the state health agency’s role.
The ban aims to close the loop on what is already a stringent policy on VBACs in Florida. To have a non-surgical birth after a C-section, women are compelled to go to hospitals that permit it (which are not accessible throughout the state), or, if a physician signs off on the procedure, they can have one at home with the guidance of a licensed midwife. VBACs currently don’t occur in Florida birthing centers because of what is being a called a “de facto ban” due to outdated language in the state regulations. The language, which will be updated this week, will turn the ban from de facto to explicit—making VBACs illegal in all of Florida licensed birthing facilities.
Miriam Pearson-Martinez, a licensed midwife who serves on the Pushing for VBAC committee of BirthGirlz, said that the organization has hired an attorney and will file a legal challenge to the ban when the AHCA moves to amend its regulatory language.
This is the current action being taken by BirthGirlz:
We have secured and paid for the attorney that will be fighting for a woman's right to choose a birth center setting for her VBAC. We have paid her fee in full and just need a little help flying her to Tallahasee. Due to the fact that the state acted with NO NOTICE to open the rules governing birth centers.
I am appalled to see that it has come this far! Do our human rights really have to mean so little? If women are given the choice to end a pregnancy, just because it is not wanted, don't you think we have the right to birth the way we want? (I am not advocating abortion here!) We won the right to choose, but we do not have the right to choose where, when and how we give birth to our babies. Many people feel it is dangerous to even be given this right. Others have no clue and are blindly walking into a situation that can cause more harm than good. Our right to educate ourselves and make our own decisions, about what is right for us and our children, are being taken away from us! And, worse, we are letting them do it!!
Moreover, I am appalled by the midwives in this state. I am horrifically offended that there is not more fighting going on in the midwife communities of Florida to better a woman's right to choose a home birth or a birth center. Many are to afraid to stand up and fight for what they know is right and good and just. Just because birth centers and home birth are still allowed does NOT mean the fight is over ladies!! That was just the beginning. What about the other women who would be perfectly fine having their babies at home or with a birth center? What about the breech babies, the VBAC's, the twins?? Not enough has changed. We should not be afraid to upset the status quo! Fight for what you believe in. I know you gals are out there!
Don't let us go underground. Let us stand in the light and fight for the rights of women. The rights of our daughters, our friends and our babies. There is still more to do. Don't let what we know to be right be taken away. It is our right and our choice.
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