A stressful day

Today has been stressful. Not only did I have a midwife tell me that I should not be considering going to midwifery school unless I "was prepared to have another mommy" for my kids. I also had a two hour conversation about my birth experience and birth beliefs, including the possibility of a VBAC home birth (with the same midwife). We did not see eye-to-eye only because she thinks that her future in VBAC may be in jeopardy due to the fact that the Dr. that approves them wants to have a contract (with a substantial fee)  with the midwives that she approves. Because this midwife is a small home birth (independent) midwife, she does not do enough business for it to be beneficial for her to pay the fee. I guess in a few days I/she will know where she stands on this issue (she requested to stay on with the Dr. without paying the fee and using her on a needed basis, kinda like she is doing now).

I think my biggest issue with the conversation was the fact that I might have gotten my hopes up (she came highly recommended). I was told that her "mission work" was VBAC, I just didn't get that feeling from her (not that the person who told me was off base). I just feel like she wouldn't really fight for a VBAC if there was ANY opposition to it. (She even said at one point that she "had the problems of birth drilled into her head. But, she could still miss some". That just doesn't strike me as the type of person I want at my labor. Someone looking for something to go wrong with the VBAC.) Therefore, I do not think she would be a good fit with us.

Also, she doesn't believe in the Bradley Method and, from what I gleaned, doesn't feel like husbands have a place at birth. This is definitely NOT something that I agree with (or Matt for that matter). I feel like a well informed and WILLING husband is the perfect coach for his birthing wife. Especially in Matt's case. He is a physiologist, he knows forward and backward, how the body works and what it should be doing. Plus, he has my utmost interest at heart (and his child's). Unlike someone that I will be getting to know for only 9 months and then the relationship is over with the final paycheck. (I know, that seems cold and mean, I do not mean it to sound bitter. I believe in midwives and I believe in the 9 month relationship). She even said, "I cringe when I hear that someone is taking Bradley classes" (this was said after I told her I was planning on becoming a Bradley instructor). She is NOT the midwife for us.

Also, speaking of Bradley, I answered a call from the headquarters around dinner. She said that because I had a medicated birth that I would have to attend 20 Bradley (unmedicated) births to be eligible to go to the teaching seminar. Seeing as how this is 2 months away, I told her to go ahead and send my money order back. I do not see how, even a year from now, I would have that many births under my belt. I did, however, ask her what would happen if I had an unmedicated Bradley birth and she said that I would be good to go. So, at least I know. I figured it was going to be something like that. I didn't get my hopes up. So, now I plan to just take the general child birth educator course that is offered ever so often at the birth center, just so I can have the prerequisite met. I am not heart broken. There will still be time, later, to go back and do the Bradley thing.

The new plan is: take the Doula and breastfeeding course in September, take a child birth educator course (when I figure out when it is), take a business math class (and possibly just finish my degree) and move on into midwifery school. Also, throw in looking for another midwife (although I think I might have decided on one) and having another baby. And, Kaine is starting school and we are going to be looking into Catholic schools and churches too. We have also put the house plans on hold and are waiting a year in order to save more money and build our already "okay/good" credit. (As the mortgage guy said, "it is no good to be house rich and money poor".)