I am not so sure about Midwifery school anymore. After talking to that last midwife, she has gotten into my head and made me consider some really serious stuff. I was really angry about it, at first. Especially since I didn't share her philosophy about birth. Therefore, everything she said to me was automatically discredited. But, I did have to ask myself why it was bothering me so much. (I just couldn't let it go!)
The problem is this:
She brought up that being a student (and a midwife) takes you away from your family (which I had considered). I didn't really realize, until talking to her, how much of my life (and my families lives) would be affected by my decision to become a midwife. I can honestly say that I am not comfortable with the time that I would have to give away. The whole point of my being a mom is to stay home and take care of my children (without any assistance, or very little). How am I going to do that when I would constantly be on call and leaving my family at a drop of a hat? I can't do that. That is not the type of life I want to live.
So, I think I have made the decision to not go to midwifery school after-all. Maybe later in life, when my kids are older and I wouldn't feel as bad about leaving them. I think, I am going to go back to education and finish my already started degree. At least this will give me a schedule that would allow me to raise my kids. Also, if I decided to go in as a private school teacher, I may be able to get tuition for free or nothing at all.
I have not made an actual decision on whether I am going back to teaching or not. A lot of things depend on each other in order to make this happen. I have to do more work and figure out if it would, indeed, be a good thing for us to consider. Here's to a new journey.
Showing posts with label Midwifery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Midwifery. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
New VBAC Wording
USA Today VBAC Article
Click on the link to view the full article. You have to purchase the rights to it in order to copy/post any or all of it. I would rather send you straight to it (I am sure they would too). I found out from the midwife (in the last post) that they are changing the wording on VBAC and the official stand. Not much changed. However, they are verbally saying (as you will see in the article) that they are in support of women having VBAC's now. Of course, they mean in a hospital with staff alerted to what is going on.
I have come to the conclusion that this does not apply to me. I am not one of those c-section people who went and got pregnant right after having the first one. (It is recommended that you wait at least 18 months before becoming pregnant again. Go here for an article about this.) Kaine is 26 months old. I have been doing exercises to strengthen my core (or the muscles used to support the uterus and baby). I did not have muscle separation. I was almost completely healed at 3 months (no stitches, no bleeding, no pain, no complications, etc...) Plus, while laying on the table I was told, "You are a GREAT candidate for VBAC". Thank you very much! I accept!
I am moving forward from my tragic birth. I am no longer going to ask myself "what could have been?", I am no longer going to dwell on "what might happen". When and if we get pregnant we are going to treat the birth like a first timer going through it. My uterus will just have to learn how to get a baby out. I am letting go of the fear that something terrible is going to happen (Go here for stats on uterine rupture caused by VBAC). Basically it states that:
"Dozens of studies report that for women who have had one prior cesarean birth with a low-horizontal incision, the risk of uterine rupture is 0.5% to 1.0%." That number is just not high enough for me to worry. Plus, I have NO other warning signs for rupture (I am currently losing weight to lower my risk factor even more. I am not sure if this is a medical truth, but I figure that it could not hurt. The idea being that if you are overweight you don't have good tone and therefore, are putting more stress on the belly (with the help of gravity) and making your scar weaker. This, by association, means that you would not have the muscle support you would need to help your uterus hold a baby and give birth.)
I am moving on. I am having a home VBAC. I am finally healed from my trauma (enough to know that you can never be healed and you accept and learn from what has happened). I will use this to help others, someday.
Click on the link to view the full article. You have to purchase the rights to it in order to copy/post any or all of it. I would rather send you straight to it (I am sure they would too). I found out from the midwife (in the last post) that they are changing the wording on VBAC and the official stand. Not much changed. However, they are verbally saying (as you will see in the article) that they are in support of women having VBAC's now. Of course, they mean in a hospital with staff alerted to what is going on.
I have come to the conclusion that this does not apply to me. I am not one of those c-section people who went and got pregnant right after having the first one. (It is recommended that you wait at least 18 months before becoming pregnant again. Go here for an article about this.) Kaine is 26 months old. I have been doing exercises to strengthen my core (or the muscles used to support the uterus and baby). I did not have muscle separation. I was almost completely healed at 3 months (no stitches, no bleeding, no pain, no complications, etc...) Plus, while laying on the table I was told, "You are a GREAT candidate for VBAC". Thank you very much! I accept!
I am moving forward from my tragic birth. I am no longer going to ask myself "what could have been?", I am no longer going to dwell on "what might happen". When and if we get pregnant we are going to treat the birth like a first timer going through it. My uterus will just have to learn how to get a baby out. I am letting go of the fear that something terrible is going to happen (Go here for stats on uterine rupture caused by VBAC). Basically it states that:
"Dozens of studies report that for women who have had one prior cesarean birth with a low-horizontal incision, the risk of uterine rupture is 0.5% to 1.0%." That number is just not high enough for me to worry. Plus, I have NO other warning signs for rupture (I am currently losing weight to lower my risk factor even more. I am not sure if this is a medical truth, but I figure that it could not hurt. The idea being that if you are overweight you don't have good tone and therefore, are putting more stress on the belly (with the help of gravity) and making your scar weaker. This, by association, means that you would not have the muscle support you would need to help your uterus hold a baby and give birth.)
I am moving on. I am having a home VBAC. I am finally healed from my trauma (enough to know that you can never be healed and you accept and learn from what has happened). I will use this to help others, someday.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A stressful day
Today has been stressful. Not only did I have a midwife tell me that I should not be considering going to midwifery school unless I "was prepared to have another mommy" for my kids. I also had a two hour conversation about my birth experience and birth beliefs, including the possibility of a VBAC home birth (with the same midwife). We did not see eye-to-eye only because she thinks that her future in VBAC may be in jeopardy due to the fact that the Dr. that approves them wants to have a contract (with a substantial fee) with the midwives that she approves. Because this midwife is a small home birth (independent) midwife, she does not do enough business for it to be beneficial for her to pay the fee. I guess in a few days I/she will know where she stands on this issue (she requested to stay on with the Dr. without paying the fee and using her on a needed basis, kinda like she is doing now).
I think my biggest issue with the conversation was the fact that I might have gotten my hopes up (she came highly recommended). I was told that her "mission work" was VBAC, I just didn't get that feeling from her (not that the person who told me was off base). I just feel like she wouldn't really fight for a VBAC if there was ANY opposition to it. (She even said at one point that she "had the problems of birth drilled into her head. But, she could still miss some". That just doesn't strike me as the type of person I want at my labor. Someone looking for something to go wrong with the VBAC.) Therefore, I do not think she would be a good fit with us.
Also, she doesn't believe in the Bradley Method and, from what I gleaned, doesn't feel like husbands have a place at birth. This is definitely NOT something that I agree with (or Matt for that matter). I feel like a well informed and WILLING husband is the perfect coach for his birthing wife. Especially in Matt's case. He is a physiologist, he knows forward and backward, how the body works and what it should be doing. Plus, he has my utmost interest at heart (and his child's). Unlike someone that I will be getting to know for only 9 months and then the relationship is over with the final paycheck. (I know, that seems cold and mean, I do not mean it to sound bitter. I believe in midwives and I believe in the 9 month relationship). She even said, "I cringe when I hear that someone is taking Bradley classes" (this was said after I told her I was planning on becoming a Bradley instructor). She is NOT the midwife for us.
Also, speaking of Bradley, I answered a call from the headquarters around dinner. She said that because I had a medicated birth that I would have to attend 20 Bradley (unmedicated) births to be eligible to go to the teaching seminar. Seeing as how this is 2 months away, I told her to go ahead and send my money order back. I do not see how, even a year from now, I would have that many births under my belt. I did, however, ask her what would happen if I had an unmedicated Bradley birth and she said that I would be good to go. So, at least I know. I figured it was going to be something like that. I didn't get my hopes up. So, now I plan to just take the general child birth educator course that is offered ever so often at the birth center, just so I can have the prerequisite met. I am not heart broken. There will still be time, later, to go back and do the Bradley thing.
The new plan is: take the Doula and breastfeeding course in September, take a child birth educator course (when I figure out when it is), take a business math class (and possibly just finish my degree) and move on into midwifery school. Also, throw in looking for another midwife (although I think I might have decided on one) and having another baby. And, Kaine is starting school and we are going to be looking into Catholic schools and churches too. We have also put the house plans on hold and are waiting a year in order to save more money and build our already "okay/good" credit. (As the mortgage guy said, "it is no good to be house rich and money poor".)
I think my biggest issue with the conversation was the fact that I might have gotten my hopes up (she came highly recommended). I was told that her "mission work" was VBAC, I just didn't get that feeling from her (not that the person who told me was off base). I just feel like she wouldn't really fight for a VBAC if there was ANY opposition to it. (She even said at one point that she "had the problems of birth drilled into her head. But, she could still miss some". That just doesn't strike me as the type of person I want at my labor. Someone looking for something to go wrong with the VBAC.) Therefore, I do not think she would be a good fit with us.
Also, she doesn't believe in the Bradley Method and, from what I gleaned, doesn't feel like husbands have a place at birth. This is definitely NOT something that I agree with (or Matt for that matter). I feel like a well informed and WILLING husband is the perfect coach for his birthing wife. Especially in Matt's case. He is a physiologist, he knows forward and backward, how the body works and what it should be doing. Plus, he has my utmost interest at heart (and his child's). Unlike someone that I will be getting to know for only 9 months and then the relationship is over with the final paycheck. (I know, that seems cold and mean, I do not mean it to sound bitter. I believe in midwives and I believe in the 9 month relationship). She even said, "I cringe when I hear that someone is taking Bradley classes" (this was said after I told her I was planning on becoming a Bradley instructor). She is NOT the midwife for us.
Also, speaking of Bradley, I answered a call from the headquarters around dinner. She said that because I had a medicated birth that I would have to attend 20 Bradley (unmedicated) births to be eligible to go to the teaching seminar. Seeing as how this is 2 months away, I told her to go ahead and send my money order back. I do not see how, even a year from now, I would have that many births under my belt. I did, however, ask her what would happen if I had an unmedicated Bradley birth and she said that I would be good to go. So, at least I know. I figured it was going to be something like that. I didn't get my hopes up. So, now I plan to just take the general child birth educator course that is offered ever so often at the birth center, just so I can have the prerequisite met. I am not heart broken. There will still be time, later, to go back and do the Bradley thing.
The new plan is: take the Doula and breastfeeding course in September, take a child birth educator course (when I figure out when it is), take a business math class (and possibly just finish my degree) and move on into midwifery school. Also, throw in looking for another midwife (although I think I might have decided on one) and having another baby. And, Kaine is starting school and we are going to be looking into Catholic schools and churches too. We have also put the house plans on hold and are waiting a year in order to save more money and build our already "okay/good" credit. (As the mortgage guy said, "it is no good to be house rich and money poor".)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
A time for every purpose
I have started the process of becoming a Bradley Method teacher. I just finished my application and Matt will be sending it away tomorrow along with the money order that is also needed to hold my place. So, in October I will be on my way to Atlanta, Ga to become a Bradley instructor! I am so excited! One of the many steps to get into Midwifery school has started.
I am also going to go and get more things done this week, while Kaine is at Nana's house. Since this was an unexpected surprise, I am going to use it to my advantage. More progress will be made this Fall than ever before to get everything in place for either this winter's session or next Fall's session. I will have to wait and see until much closer, what time frame I am looking at.
Things are happening now. I am no longer "waiting and seeing". We are going ahead with our plans and putting others on a back burner. I feel very good about our decisions and am very hopeful about what is to come next.
I am also going to go and get more things done this week, while Kaine is at Nana's house. Since this was an unexpected surprise, I am going to use it to my advantage. More progress will be made this Fall than ever before to get everything in place for either this winter's session or next Fall's session. I will have to wait and see until much closer, what time frame I am looking at.
Things are happening now. I am no longer "waiting and seeing". We are going ahead with our plans and putting others on a back burner. I feel very good about our decisions and am very hopeful about what is to come next.
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