I am wavering

I am not so sure about Midwifery school anymore. After talking to that last midwife, she has gotten into my head and made me consider some really serious stuff. I was really angry about it, at first. Especially since I didn't share her philosophy about birth. Therefore, everything she said to me was automatically discredited. But, I did have to ask myself why it was bothering me so much. (I just couldn't let it go!)

The problem is this:
She brought up that being a student (and a midwife) takes you away from your family (which I had considered). I didn't really realize, until talking to her, how much of my life (and my families lives) would be affected by my decision to become a midwife. I can honestly say that I am not comfortable with the time that I would have to give away. The whole point of my being a mom is to stay home and take care of my children (without any assistance, or very little). How am I going to do that when I would constantly be on call and leaving my family at a drop of a hat? I can't do that. That is not the type of life I want to live.

So, I think I have made the decision to not go to midwifery school after-all. Maybe later in life, when my kids are older and I wouldn't feel as bad about leaving them. I think, I am going to go back to education and finish my already started degree. At least this will give me a schedule that would allow me to raise my kids. Also, if I decided to go in as a private school teacher, I may be able to get tuition for free or nothing at all.

I have not made an actual decision on whether I am going back to teaching or not. A lot of things depend on each other in order to make this happen. I have to do more work and figure out if it would, indeed, be a good thing for us to consider. Here's to a new journey.