I have been thinking about doing something drastic (I am not so sure that is the best word) for a while now. At least, most people would think it is drastic. Here is a little background:
My ambitions as a child: To be a Nun or a Missionary
My ambitions as a teenager: To join the Peace Corp
My ambitions as a young college student: To be a nurse
My ambitions as a young mom: To make sure my kids are well taken care of (no sacrifice is too much)
Are you seeing a theme here? I have ALWAYS wanted to be in a position of "helper to those who need it". My path has been long and very confused. I have done some things that just plain don't make any sense at all. All of it has taught me and led me to my next decision.
This may sound corny but, I was watching OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) tonight. Oprah was talking about her life's journey. She kept saying, "I don't believe in luck", "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity", something I have always felt. So, needless to say, I was listening. She then went on to talk about how she knew she was doing what she was intended to do. Yes, she made mistakes. Yes, there were hard times to overcome (her past would make anyone want to roll over and die, poor girl!). But, she knew she had a purpose. She could hear "whispers" of what she was suppose to be doing. (That sounds crazy, I just can't put it as eloquently as she did. Use the word "nudges", if you prefer.) It just started to click for me.
I feel that God has recently laid something on my heart. I am terrified to accept it. I have talked it over with Matt and I know he is scared too but, open to the possibility. We just want to feel a little bit more "settled". I just don't know anymore. I think God opens you up to opportunities when you are actually ready for them. Not when your "housing situation" or "financial situation" is optimum. (None of which are terrible, unless you consider not having debt and not actually owning a house, a bad thing!) Yes, I would like to have a house of my own. However, this is something we can do NOW. We don't need to wait. I am just tired of telling God that I will "go where He sends me" and then letting the call go to the answering machine, if you know what I mean. Will He stop calling me?
My passion is children. I wish to teach one of these days. (A decision that didn't come lightly. And, won't come easily.) I have always said, "I have missed my calling"; I am suppose to be a nanny. Well, what is this new revelation you ask? I want to be a Foster Parent. Not really, I have never really wanted to be a Foster Parent. The idea scares me to death! But, I feel called to be a Foster Parent. Being called is more like a need. You know what I mean? You may not want it. You are probably scared out of your socks at the prospect of taking this challenge on. But you just have to!! Am I making sense? Look at it this way:
Have you ever seen anyone being treated unfairly? Unjust? Abused? Would you walk on by? Or, even with your fear, would you get involved? No, you don't want to make the situation worse. No, you don't want to be physically, mentally or emotionally hurt. But, you are compelled to act. THAT, my friends, is what I am talking about.
Doing the right thing. It's not always easy. Most of the time it is hard. But, if you let it, you will come out the better person. You change to accommodate. I have always felt like I was meant for better and greater things. No, I don't want to be rich or famous. But, I do feel like I could be doing more to change the world we live in. I am tired of just sitting around and waiting for the need to come to me. I am going to reach out and give of myself. I will give what I have to offer, hopefully it will be just what is needed.
My ambitions as a child: To be a Nun or a Missionary
My ambitions as a teenager: To join the Peace Corp
My ambitions as a young college student: To be a nurse
My ambitions as a young mom: To make sure my kids are well taken care of (no sacrifice is too much)
Are you seeing a theme here? I have ALWAYS wanted to be in a position of "helper to those who need it". My path has been long and very confused. I have done some things that just plain don't make any sense at all. All of it has taught me and led me to my next decision.
This may sound corny but, I was watching OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) tonight. Oprah was talking about her life's journey. She kept saying, "I don't believe in luck", "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity", something I have always felt. So, needless to say, I was listening. She then went on to talk about how she knew she was doing what she was intended to do. Yes, she made mistakes. Yes, there were hard times to overcome (her past would make anyone want to roll over and die, poor girl!). But, she knew she had a purpose. She could hear "whispers" of what she was suppose to be doing. (That sounds crazy, I just can't put it as eloquently as she did. Use the word "nudges", if you prefer.) It just started to click for me.
I feel that God has recently laid something on my heart. I am terrified to accept it. I have talked it over with Matt and I know he is scared too but, open to the possibility. We just want to feel a little bit more "settled". I just don't know anymore. I think God opens you up to opportunities when you are actually ready for them. Not when your "housing situation" or "financial situation" is optimum. (None of which are terrible, unless you consider not having debt and not actually owning a house, a bad thing!) Yes, I would like to have a house of my own. However, this is something we can do NOW. We don't need to wait. I am just tired of telling God that I will "go where He sends me" and then letting the call go to the answering machine, if you know what I mean. Will He stop calling me?
My passion is children. I wish to teach one of these days. (A decision that didn't come lightly. And, won't come easily.) I have always said, "I have missed my calling"; I am suppose to be a nanny. Well, what is this new revelation you ask? I want to be a Foster Parent. Not really, I have never really wanted to be a Foster Parent. The idea scares me to death! But, I feel called to be a Foster Parent. Being called is more like a need. You know what I mean? You may not want it. You are probably scared out of your socks at the prospect of taking this challenge on. But you just have to!! Am I making sense? Look at it this way:
Have you ever seen anyone being treated unfairly? Unjust? Abused? Would you walk on by? Or, even with your fear, would you get involved? No, you don't want to make the situation worse. No, you don't want to be physically, mentally or emotionally hurt. But, you are compelled to act. THAT, my friends, is what I am talking about.
Doing the right thing. It's not always easy. Most of the time it is hard. But, if you let it, you will come out the better person. You change to accommodate. I have always felt like I was meant for better and greater things. No, I don't want to be rich or famous. But, I do feel like I could be doing more to change the world we live in. I am tired of just sitting around and waiting for the need to come to me. I am going to reach out and give of myself. I will give what I have to offer, hopefully it will be just what is needed.
No comments:
Post a Comment