Kaine weighs 36 lbs. He will be two in May. I think this is amazing information. It just seems so weird to me to have a child some days. I think, "Is he really mine or is this some sort of dream? Will I wake up and find that I have been asleep this whole time?" If so, unplug the machine. I don't want to wake up!
He is such an incredible joy to have around. I can't even describe it. I love being a mom more than I love being anything else. I know what true love is, I am able to see how Jesus loves us through this relationship. Isn't that just the biggest, eye opening experience. When your child brings you to Jesus' love?
I don't have any pictures to post. I think I am going to leave that for FaceBook. I just want to write my thoughts here, even if I am the only one reading it. It helps, just to get it out into a neutral territory. Plus, I think that one day it will be something Kaine may want to read. The true thoughts that run into my head. No matter if they are ugly, pretty, or otherwise.
I am moving forward with midwifery school. UNF is annoying me. But I knew that getting involved with them would. They always have annoyed me on some level. I really do hope that something happens soon on the financial front. I am not sure how I am going to be able to pay for school if my loan doesn't come through. I realize why it has to be this way. My past coming back to haunt me. I wish they knew how much I have changed. It will work out, somehow. Even if I have to put it off for another year. I hope not, I am not good at waiting. Maybe God is trying to teach me patience. Either way, I am going ahead with the Childbirth Education course, Breastfeeding class and the Doula training. So, if school doesn't happen hopefully I will have something to fall back on. I think I may even look into becoming a Bradley Method instructor. I don't know though, I think you have to have a Bradley birth in order to become an instructor. We shall see.
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