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Thursday, February 17, 2011

The love of Sisters

Like most of my posts, I am not sure where this one will end up. I am not even sure I have a starting point. I just need to talk. I am really starting to doubt the connections in my life. My people connections. I really don't feel like people are anywhere near the friendship level that I am. Maybe I come off a little to strong? I really do wish someone would open up to me and let me know how I make people feel. I am starting to think that people just don't "want to deal" with me. Not nice. I just want someone to open up to, you know, like someone with the same type of insight (woman stuff and the struggles that go with). I am seriously done with surface friendships. Maybe I should walk around with a sign around my neck that reads: "Serious, meaningful relationship people should only reply". All I need is just one good friend. Just one. That's not asking too much is it?

Honestly, I think that is why God gives you sisters. Although, I wouldn't say that I am SUPER close with either one of my sisters. Partly because of the physical distance between us. Partly because we have emotional issues and can't seem to come together in a more united way. Having said that, I miss them. I think they are the only ones that truly know "me". I don't even have to say anything, because you already know they are on the next page with you. I guess I just miss really having sisters. Sometimes you just need a shoulder to lean on, cry on and just plain have around, no questions asked.

Sorry, still not over the whole baby thing. Trying to come to terms with something that I have known about for a while but, somehow, didn't want to believe. I guess the doctors were right, having or even getting pregnant, for me, is going to be a long road. I just wish I had someone around that understood the pain. You just need someone to step up and fill the void without being shown the way.

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