Our Circumcision Decision

 I have to say this was an ongoing discussion for us (when I was convinced we were having a boy before "technology" told me I was wrong--so much for that! Intuition wins!). I honestly have to say that I did not want it to happen. I was really uncomfortable with the fact that my son's sexual organ was going to be mutilated for aesthetic reasons. I made Matt do a ton of research. He was on the fence about it at first too. He said that he didn't know what the issue was. I said that even doctors are saying it is unnecessary now.

Anyway, he did research. We had discussions about how boys are when someone is different in gym class. We had discussions about how women feel about it. We even talked about it to his friend Dave who is not circumcised and got his opinion. So, in the end I was not convinced. Matt wanted it to happen. His biggest argument was that it wasn't clean and the potential for infection was paramount, in his view. He also argued that some women/girls are grossed out by it. I was not convinced of the latter, especially since women and men, I think, would both get more sexual satisfaction. Anyway, I consented and made it a "boy" issue. Meaning, he was a guy and I would make it his department because we were having a boy and he would ultimately be the one having to deal with it down the road.

I have to say I was never comfortable with it. When they asked us about it in the hospital (our pediatrician came to check on him and perform if) I was totally defensive and dismissive and gave it a quick, "Just do it and get it over with!" and a fearful, "You aren't going to do it in here are you!?" I was totally avoiding the issue! I didn't want to have ANY part in it! AT ALL! I wrote the whole thing off. Honestly, I was truly fearful. I didn't want to have to make a decision that my son might regret later in life. At the same time, I didn't know how to take care of a child without a circumcision and Matt had convinced me that it was an illness prone zone. When our pediatrician asked us if we wanted him to do it in the hospital or when we brought him in to the office, I freaked! I was like, "No way! You have to do it now or not at all!" I knew I would not go through with it if I had to stand there and watch it happen. I was a coward! Now, looking back on it, I know I didn't have enough information and that is why I was fearful. I also felt that it wasn't my place, not being a boy and all.

Then, we thought we were having a girl and we figured the whole thing was settled. So much for that! Next time, I think I will put up a bigger fight and take a more, lets-see-how-he-feels-about-it-when-he-is-old-enough-to-make-his-own-decisions stance! Which is pretty much how I raise him now. I don't even like to part his hair a certain way because I don't want to make such personal decisions for him! I honestly think we have taken a huge personal decision away from him and we should not have been so hasty. Actually, I should not have been so fearful and should have done more research and not written it off and left if up to Matt. In Matt's defense, he did do research and he felt he was making the best choice, all things considered. So, at least I am comfortable with that. If he was just saying to do it just to do it, I would be beating myself up now. At least he was well informed and made the best decision he could.