Christmas

I'm just not feeling it this year. No matter how hard I try. And believe me I HAVE tried! I really thought Kaine would be more into it this year. He doesn't care. He likes the fact that we have a tree in the house and that he got to put shiny things on it. But, other than that, nothing. He hates Santa still because he TOTALLY doesn't get what Santa is about, no matter how many books we read about the jolly fat man. I hope next year is better.

The whole gift thing is getting to me too. I really hate that it is what it is. I want it to be about the true meaning of Christmas this year but, it's not here. I don't feel it. I don't see it. I tried to be positive about the whole thing (even all of the bad crap that has happened lately). I have tried to shrug it all off. It really didn't affect me until a few hours ago, when more bad news arrived. It was kind of like the straw that broke the camel's back. I just don't know how to get into the spirit and I am running out of time. Hopefully some last minute jolly-ness or hope will find it's way to me before it is too late.