I HATE MY DOG!!! AND LIFE, AT THE MOMENT!

He just cost me $200!!! Like I have $200!!!! NNNNOOOO!!!


What happened? He got off his line when I went in to Gainesville today and decided to go to the neighbors and eat their chickens!!! EAT THEIR CHICKENS!!! So, since this is the second (oh, yes you read that right) time he has done this (we were forgive the first time because we didn't know the neighbors started raising chickens. And plus, everyone dog makes mistakes!) we now have to pay $5 per chicken. I was told 40 are missing. Granted, I don't think that the dog got that many. (I was told 14 today. So unless he killed 26 -unlikely- the time we were forgiven....)  Plus, I think he thought they were playing because he didn't eat them, he just chased them and killed them and then left them where they were! But, that is beside the point. So, I told Matt through hormonal tears that the guys want $200. So, he said the same thing and said he would talk to him and work it out. Now, like I didn't have enough stress, I really do have to find a job and get the hell out of here!

I have no idea what I am going to do. I have limited skills. I can watch kids, babies, drive, fold laundry, read books, you know all of the average everyday people things that average, everyday people do. Oh yeah, and I can count pills, answer phones and get yelled at by crazy drug attics (sp?) trying to get me to give them illegal drugs! So, why don't I just use the Pharmacy Tech skills, you ask? Well, in order to make money at that I would have to work 40 hours a week, probably in a hospital (with really sick people!) doing things that I don't know how to do! Plus, I have to take an exam. Not that big of a deal but, when you don't know what you are getting yourself into do you really want to take the time to study and take a test that might not take you anywhere? Not to mention that you have to pay for the test and gas and the babysitter so you can get there, in the first place. Then, what do you do when you get a job? Not like Kaine can go with me! What is he going to do sit around and play with the chemo? Then, lets say I get a job in the hospital and I have to pay for someone else to watch my child and give away half of my paycheck. After gas and medical coverage, what exactly am I bringing home? Nothing! What is the point? Oh yeah, and have we forgotten that I want to have a baby and go to Midwifery school? How exactly am I going to be around hospital meds (including chemo and radiation) being Prego? HUMM??? Not to mention that it would look really awesome on my resume that I stayed at the hospital for a year or so because next fall I would have to quit to go to school. So, then we are back to square one! What then?

I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!! WANT TO JOIN ME?