I would seriously like to be taking and posting pictures agian! I miss it. Why am I not, you ask? My camera has decided to crap-out on me. I have no idea what is wrong with it. I did leave it in the car during a heat wave, though. Could this be the problem? I am assured it is not. This does remind me of the times that I kept telling Matt that the car CD player in my trunk needed to go into the car before "heat damage" set in. Not realizing what I had said and being answered with laughter. Matt would then explain, "If it is already in your trunk and it is hot outside, then why would it matter if it is installed or not?". Then I would realize what just happened. This is a classic Loren move. But seriously, what is wrong with my camera?
Lately I feel as if I am missing something. I can't put my finger on it. I feel as if there might be some unresolved issue inside of me. But every time that I get close to what it might be, it runs away again. I do believe that it has something to do with Kaine's birth and how breastfeeding went with him. How I am longing to experience it all over again. Longing being the exact right word! I feel as if I want to correct my mistakes yet, am terrified (again, the exact right word) that my mistakes will happen again, continuing to haunt me. Maybe that is exactly it, I am being haunted by a failed experience. One that I felt was rightfully mine to have. Talking about it helps and even though I do not believe anyone reads this, hopefully God sees it and knows my heart.
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